If you just try long enough and hard enough, you can always manage to boot yourself in the posterior.

I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.

I used to be shy about ordering a steak after I had eaten a steak sandwich, but I got used to it.

If there is any way you can get colder than you do when you sleep in a bedding roll on the ground in a tent in southern Tunisia two hours before dawn, I don't know about it.

If the first requisite for writing well about food is a good appetite, the second is to put in your apprenticeship as a feeder when you have enough money to pay the check but not enough to produce indifference of the total.

I take a grave view of the press. It is the weak slat under the bed of democracy.

Hitler was the archetype of the abstemious man. When the other krauts saw him drink water in the Beer Hall they should have known he was not to be trusted.

The function of the press in society is to inform, but its role in society is to make money.

A Louisiana politician can't afford to let his animosities carry him away, and still less his principles, although there is seldom difficulty in that department.

Newspapers write about other newspapers with circumspection, ... about themselves with awe, and only after mature reflection.

I can write faster than anyone who can write better, and I can write better than anyone who can write faster.

If a boxer ever went as crazy as Nijinsky all the wowsers in the world would be screaming 'punch-drunk.' Well, who hit Nijinsky? And why isn't there a campaign against ballet? It gives girls thick legs.

Last week, I had to offer my publisher a bottle that was far too good for him simply because there was nothing between the insulting and the superlative.

To the Parisians, and especially to the children, all Americans are now 'heros du cinema.' This is particularly disconcerting to sensitive war correspondents, if any, aware, as they are, that these innocent thanks belong to those American combat troops who won the beachhead and then made the breakthrough. There are few such men in Paris.

A city with one newspaper, or with a morning and an evening paper under one ownership, is like a man with one eye, and often the eye is glass.

Henry Miller may write about revelers self-woven into a human hooked rug, because his ecstasy is solemn.

The country's present supply of foreign news depends largely on how best a number of dry goods merchants in New York think they can sell underwear.

I had an attack of the gout two days before pulling out, and I went limping off to the war instead of coming limping back from it.

It is impossible for me to estimate how many of my early impressions of the world, correct and the opposite, came to me through newspapers. Homicide, adultery, no-hit pitching, and Balkanism were concepts that, left to my own devices, I would have encountered much later in life.

The fighter (like the writer) must stand alone. If he loses he cannot call an executive conference and throw off on a vice president or the assistant sales manager. He is consequently resented by fractional characters who cannot live outside an organization.