Laziness prevents more crimes than morality.

The present marriage laws are very propitious towards making Cuckoldom the normal state of men.

Pregnant Tomorrow, impregnable Tomorrow! holds imprisoned in her belly the hopes and fears of a pale-faced humanity.

We talk much of reform, meaning thereby a change of mud in our mud-bath.

He who knows how to loaf is wiser than three sages.

The Church is a conspiracy to corrupt men's morals.

Until thirty we live through curiosity, after that out of sheer spite and bravado.

Many deeds are enacted in God's name which fill the Devil's heart with envy.

A man or a woman without passions is like a windmill in a calm -- motionless, ghastly, useless.

Kindness is a distemper which is soon cured by experience.

Heaven and Hell are man's hopes and his fears extended beyond the grave.

Nature talks in symbols; he who lacks imagination cannot understand her.

When a man has once gained a Reputation not even with God's help can he get rid of it.

Protracted optimism must eventually end in hopeless fatuity.

Pity in its embrace strangles respect.

Past pleasures are of as little comfort to a man as the money in his neighbor's pocket.

Civilization helps the disabled and disables those who can help themselves.

Advertising is immodesty turned to profit.

Justice like the sunflower hangs its head on the sunny side.

Our Desires snort and press forward like giddy stallions, but our Means creep sulkily along like snails.