Quotes by Adam Sandler

I can handle pain.

I'm filthy rich!

I don't laugh at me. I used to. I used to get the giggles when I'd see myself. But now, I see myself onscreen, and I sure don't laugh.

My hobbies are run-on sentences.

I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only....Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks.

I've always just had troubles with my family because I'm psychotic. It had nothing to do with that.

It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.

It's just weird that out of nowhere God said, May the three best-looking guys in Hollywood have babies -- Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt and me. It was bizarre that God said, I want to make the planet more beautiful, and I got the call.

I don't like being on a horse. That's the only negative of doing a Western. I like the whole get up, and I look great in a hat. But I get tense around horses. So, if they could make a fake horse, then I'd do a Western.

Hanukkah is...the festival of lights, instead of one day of presents, we get eight crazy nights.

Eat turkey all night long, 50 million Elvis fans can't be wrong.

I grew up cursing a lot.

Paul Newman's half Jewishand Florence Henderson's half, tooPut them together,What a fine looking Jew!

On this lovely, lovely Hanukkah, drink your gin and tonica.

I wish I was a better athlete. That would have been a little cooler, being a great boxer and walking into a room and going: I can knock everybody out! That's a good feeling.

I'm just looking to make good movies and looking to be as good as I can be in them and that's about it. But I feel much more comfortable doing a comedy, but the fact that I got to try a few dramas, I feel I've tested myself a little bit.

When you're shooting a movie you are away from home most of the time. It's an amazing thing that we get to do what we get to do, but you definitely are away from the family more than you'd like to be.

Bedtime stories were definitely a big part of my life because I was just so excited my father was talking to me.

I finished a big book the other day. 421 pages. That's a lot of coloring when you think about it.

The only reason I got into stand-up was because my brother told me to. I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. I was 17 and my brother went to a comedy club and he said -- you can do that.

I did rocks, all this dumb stuff. But now it's just trying to stay afloat and just get through the days.

I'm filthy rich! It's good to be Adam Sandler!

My buddies, we've always just tried to make each other laugh. I mean, just like all friends hanging out -- that's the goal.

I wanted to make sure that I did one movie in my career that mothers hug me for.

Comedy, such a lovely lady, she'll pick you up, you your feeling blue.

Mama says that, happiness is from magic rays of sunshine that come down when you're feeling blue.

Never seen my friends do more push-ups, trying to challenge Cruises' manhood. It was like, I can be strong, too!

I'm a big fan of money. I like it, I use it, I have a little. I keep it in a jar on top of my refrigerator. I'd like to put more in that jar. That's where you come in.

Wrap the turkey up

In aluminum foil

My brother likes to masturbate

With baby oil.

Wasted is when you have a hankering for ice cream.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when youve had too much to drink.

Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna grow old with you.

I guess I was maybe in little league baseball as far as I wanted to be good at that. But school, I certainly wasn't the best at that. But comedy thing and making movies and stuff, I love it so much that I do get driven to push myself as hard as I can.

I don't know what drives me to succeed. I know I want to always do the best I can.I guess I was maybe in little league baseball as far as I wanted to be good at that. But school, I certainly wasn't the best at that.

I was a big fan of Kurt Russell growing up and I always wanted to be the modern day Kurt Russell.

I've got a hockey record, I took off my skate and tried to stab a guy, I'm the only person who ever tried that.

He has a 5 year plan... What is it, don't die?

Having a kid is great... as long as his eyes are closed and he's not moving or speaking.

Some of us will never ever find true love. Take, for instance me. And I'm pretty sure that guy right there. And that lady with the sideburns. And basically everybody at table nine.

My kids don't have a trust fund, they have a debt fund. And when I die, they're $4 million in the hole.

I still like some of the stuff, skateboarding. Just stupid things.

Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

I say things, like every other parent, that reminds you of your own parents. One thing I do know about being a parent, you understand why your father was in a bad mood a lot.

My intention is never to hurt anybody. I'm happy when people are having a good time.

I'm in a mood, Dave. A bad mood, a very bad mood! I was fired from my ice cream truck job today! No more Fudgicles!

I don't like being out in public too much. I don't like going to bars. I don't like doing celebrity stuff.

I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing Maria from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up.

I never thought about what people would say about me. I was just a young guy who was excited to become a comedian and an actor, and I just wanted to get to do what I got to do.

I don't know what drives me to succeed.

I've been called a moron since I was about four. My father called me a moron. My grandfather said I was a moron. And a lot of times when I'm driving, I hear I'm a moron. I like being a moron.

Sometimes you can't prioritise family and you feel guilty.

I definitely connected to the fact that life gets out of control and you end up doing things and wishing you were doing other things instead.

I've always had lots of friends and my house was the house they all hung out at.

Kids end up seeing my movies anyway but some of the mothers get mad at me so I figured I'd make one that I can't get yelled at for.

When the kids are laughing in the audience, I tear up, I'm so happy I did a nice thing.

I've always wanted to do a family movie.

It's nice when little teams win.

I read to my kid, but I can't stand reading.

My father used to wear the same pants for like a week.

When I take my kid to school, all the parents stop and stare.

God gave me some weird, beautiful scent that makes men and women go crazy. People compare it to Carvel. It is a whale of a smell.

I prefer musicals, because I am the best dancer who ever lived. The best plies, the best sashays, and by far the best-smelling Capezios.

Through my films I'm eventually trying to one day tell the truth. I don't know if I'm ever going to get there, but I'm slowly letting pieces of myself out there and then maybe by the time I'm 85, I'll look back and say, 'All right, that about sums it up.'

Girls are soft and pretty.

When I do stand-up shows at colleges, girls will talk to me after the show, and that always feels good. I like talking to them.

I had my moments of being humiliated, and then I had moments of doing something humiliating. I'm glad I lived out both roles.

My sisters are stronger and my brother's bigger than me.

I wasn't a kid growing up thinking, 'One day I'll get an Oscar and make a speech.' That wasn't on my mind.

How do I speak Spanish? Not too well.

In one day, I have times where I'm feeling great, I feel like I love my life, and then 2:30 rolls around and I'm the angriest man alive. My wife sees it.

SNL is a home. You've got all of your brothers and sisters there, and it's a great time.

My grandmother used to embarrass me more, when she would pick me up from school wearing a big fuzzy hat. I didn't like that.

I've always liked older ladies, ever since my mother would have B'nai B'rith at our house.

I grew up cursing a lot. It felt natural. My parents told me to stop.

I like sitting and writing with my buddies.

Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.

As a kid, I'd go into the bathroom when I was having a tantrum. I'd be in the bathroom crying, studying myself in the mirror. I was preparing for future roles.

I'll continue to make the typical Adam Sandler comedies.

A lot of critics object to what I do, but I got into comedy to make people laugh, and I've always worked hard.

Now that I'm a parent, I understand why my father was in a bad mood a lot.

With the amount of money I have, it's difficult raising children the way I was raised.

I go to sleep thinking about my kids being spoiled and I wake up thinking about it.

When I'm around the kids I feel like I act the most grown-up just because you're supposed to. And I say things, like every other day, that remind me of my own parents.

Well, we're living in a material world, and I'm a material girl... or boy.

Most of the stuff I do on the show comes out of me just trying to make my friends laugh.

I shouldn't be near Vegas and have money in my pocket.

When I'm up there, and I know the show's coming to a close, in my head I'm saying to myself, Oh man, you gotta get off and be a normal person again. That's what I don't like so much.

I mean, I look at my dad. He was twenty when he started having a family, and he was always the coolest dad. He did everything for his kids, and he never made us feel like he was pressured. I know that it must be a great feeling to be a guy like that.