You know what's the greatest part of anything ever in the history of everything? Exaggeration. No, wait; it's correcting yourself. No, better yet, it's making lists.
You know what's strange? A lot of men don't dream in color. Women will dream in color more than men.
You know what's sexy? A person who's been through a life challenge, and comes out with insights, more depth, and a fiery passion to face forward, forward, forward!
You know what's sad about this? Not the gambling, but the best way to reach college athletes is the Cartoon Network.
You know what's really hot? Pop-and-locking, ticking. The moonwalk. Tricks like that.
You know what's really frightening? You (Jon Stewart) actually have an influence on this presidential election. That is scary, but it's true. You've got stoned slackers watching your dopey show every night and they can vote.
You know what's really cool? Wake up every morning, decide what you feel like doing, and do it.
You know what's nice about Montreal? Not only is it a beautiful city, but you have Cuban cigars.
You know what's more difficult to do organically? Laughing. It's actually one of the hardest things to do on camera.
You know what's just as powerful as a good cup of coffee in the morning? Starting your day with some good, loving thoughts. It can change how your whole day unfolds.
You know what's great about New York? The threshold for citizenship as a New Yorker is actually pretty short. If you come to New York and you still like it two years after you arrived here, and you still think it's great and you're having a good time and you haven't been just totally ground down and go limping back to wherever the fuck you came from, you know what? You're in!
You know what's good? Going on the ice and knowing that you don't have to skate when the whistle blows. All my life I've been the one skating.
You know what's funny? I don't ever feel the need to escape. I have a strong marriage. I like my life. You hear about these guys having midlife crises -- I don't see that happening to me.
You know what's funny to me? You know what's really funny to me? The fact that you've been calling Lita the walking kiss of death, but tonight.. the walking KOD beat the walking STD.
You know what's funny to me? Attitude.
You know what's funny is, when I made 'Saw,' I got accused of being a fascist; when I made 'Insidious,' I got accused of being godless, and now I made the 'Conjuring' films, and I'm accused of being too much God.
You know what's funny is that I have this ongoing relationship with the city of Washington D.C. I went to George Washington University, and my nickname was K-Dub -- based on G-Dub -- and I'm now on the board of trustees at George Washington University.
You know what's crazy about Yao? He speaks perfect English. A lot of people don't know that. Perfect English. When I was over there, I called him. He's like, 'Whassup big fella?' Perfect English!
You know what's cooler than being the richest guy in the room? Being the toughest guy in the room.