Never trust a man who combs his hair straight from his left armpit.

Dorothy is the only woman in history who has had her menopause in public and made it pay.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody come sit next to me.

You can't make a souffle rise twice.

I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.

The secret of eternal youth is arrested development.

He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.

If you can't say something good about someone, sit right here by me.

If YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY ABOUT ANYONE..COME SIT BY ME.

You can't make souffle rise twice.

People in Washington seem as hypnotized by precedence as though they were hens with their beaks on a chalk line.

My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.

Woman suffrage has made little difference beyond doubling the number of voters. There is no woman's vote as such. They divide up just about as men do.

I valued my independence from an early age and was always something of a individualist … Well, a show-off anyway.

He sprang from the grass roots of the country clubs of America.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

My specialty is detached malevolence.

I live by three rules: I eat when I'm hungry, sleep when I'm tired and scratch when I itch.