Instead of past, present and future, I'd prefer chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry.

Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove.

By accepting you as you are, I do not necessarily abandon all hope of your improving.

Speak nothing but the truth, and you'll soon be considered dangerous.

Even when I'm happy and successful, life still goes on.

My worst personal problem is that my computer doesn't understand me.

There may not be a Heaven, but there is a San Francisco.

I feel much better, now that I've given up hope.

I've learned so much from my failures that I'm thinking of having some more.

I was unemployed for a long time, but I couldn't adjust to the hours.

You can never discard too many bad ideas.

I'll give up my bad habits as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available.

I've found the secret of happiness, total disregard of everybody.

Having failed to conquer myself, my best hope now is to arrange an alliance with myself.

The reports on human progress are beginning to come in, and some are a little discouraging.

If you can't go around it, over it, or through it, you had better negotiate with it.

My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating.

The closest you will ever come in this life to an orderly universe is a good library.

Sometimes the best way to be useful is to get out of somebody's way.

What we really need is to realize how little we really need.