When I was a boy if a girl got pregnant the shame was placed on her and the boy could get away.

There is no job a man can do that is undignified -- if he does it well.

People say God will find a way. God can't find a way if you're in the way.

I can't negate the theory that the Huxtables on 'The Cosby Show' may have helped pave the way for the Obama family. People enjoyed watching that black family.

The weatherman is always right. It's just his timing that's off.

What best defines a child is the total inability to receive information from anything not plugged in.

What we need is for people to realize -- 'I want to raise my kid. I want to go back and get my three kids. I want to take on that responsibility. I want to love my children.'

Did you ever see the customers in health -- food stores? They are pale, skinny people who look half -- dead. In a steak house, you see robust, ruddy people. They're dying, of course, but they look terrific.

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.

Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger.

Meadowlark and I share a common vision of bringing joy and laughter to others.

The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.

I don't care what right-wing white people are thinking.

We parents ask dumb questions, therefore we get dumb answers.

If you have no faith, you've lost your battle.

Our greatest glory is not in ever failing, but in rising every time we fail.

Every success story has a parent who says, 'over my dead body.' Every success story has an old person who walks up to you and says, when you're acting the fool, 'you know I worry about you sometimes.'

Things are old. Parts are old. I'm talking about 'us' parts. AARP-parts. Some of us were born with stronger parts than others.

Sometimes you try to help people, and it backfires on you, and then they try to take advantage of you.