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Quotes by Bill Hicks

Welcome to our collection of quotes by Bill Hicks. We hope you enjoy pondering them and please share widely.

Wikipedia Summary for Bill Hicks

William Melvin Hicks (December 16, 1961 – February 26, 1994) was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, satirist, and musician. His material—encompassing a wide range of social issues including religion, politics, and philosophy—was controversial and often steeped in dark comedy.

At the age of 16, while still in high school, Hicks began performing at the Comedy Workshop in Houston, Texas. During the 1980s, he toured the U.S. extensively and made a number of high-profile television appearances, but it was in the UK that he amassed a significant fan base, filling large venues during his 1991 tour. He also achieved some recognition as a guitarist and songwriter.

Hicks died of pancreatic cancer on February 26, 1994, at the age of 32. In subsequent years, his work gained significant acclaim in creative circles—particularly after a series of posthumous album releases—and he developed a substantial cult following. In 2007, he was No. 6 on Channel 4's list of the "100 Greatest Stand-Up Comics", and rose to No. 4 on the 2010 list. In 2017, Rolling Stone magazine ranked him No. 13 on its list of the 50 best stand-up comics of all time.

Quote: To me, Texas is Austin, a bunch of cool people trying to make a difference. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of man and woman in cowboy hat

To me, Texas is Austin, a bunch of cool people trying to make a difference.


Quote: I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, My dad can beat up your dad. I'd say Yeah? When? by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, My dad can beat up your dad. I'd say Yeah? When?


Quote: There are essentially two drugs that Western civilization tolerates: caffeine from Monday to Friday yo energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison you are living in. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of Bill Hicks quote; white text on black background

There are essentially two drugs that Western civilization tolerates: caffeine from Monday to Friday yo energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison you are living in.


Quote: Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn't the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit unnatural? by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn't the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit unnatural?


Quote: Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn't the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit ... unnatural? by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn't the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit ... unnatural?


Quote: England, where no one has guns; fourteen deaths. United States -- and I think you know how we feel about guns; whoo! I'm getting' a stiffy -- 23,000 deaths from handguns. But there's no connection, and you'd be a fool and a communist to make one. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

England, where no one has guns; fourteen deaths. United States -- and I think you know how we feel about guns; whoo! I'm getting' a stiffy -- 23,000 deaths from handguns. But there's no connection, and you'd be a fool and a communist to make one.


Quote: If I thought the Jews killed God, I'd worship the Jews. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

If I thought the Jews killed God, I'd worship the Jews.


Quote: What before seemed a...frustrating wall, the comic deftly and fearlessly steps through, proving the absurdity of it all. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

What before seemed a...frustrating wall, the comic deftly and fearlessly steps through, proving the absurdity of it all.


Quote: I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f-kin' mouth. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f-kin' mouth.


Quote: I loved when Bush came out and said, 'We are losing the war against drugs.' 

You know what that implies? There's a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

I loved when Bush came out and said, 'We are losing the war against drugs.'

You know what that implies? There's a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it.




Quote: They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do just as well -- you just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort. There is a difference. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do just as well -- you just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort. There is a difference.


Quote: Is it impossible to imagine Americans sneaking into Mexico en masse, seeking regular employment and a better way of life? by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

Is it impossible to imagine Americans sneaking into Mexico en masse, seeking regular employment and a better way of life?


Quote: We really are All One....this is the very philosophy that has kept me virtually anonymous in America for fifteen years. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

We really are All One....this is the very philosophy that has kept me virtually anonymous in America for fifteen years.


Quote: Marijuana: a drug that kills … no one -- and let's put it in a time frame -- ever. Illegal. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

Marijuana: a drug that kills … no one -- and let's put it in a time frame -- ever. Illegal.


Quote: Why do we put people who are on drugs in jail? They're sick, they're not criminals. Sick people don't get healed in prison. You see? It makes no sense. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

Why do we put people who are on drugs in jail? They're sick, they're not criminals. Sick people don't get healed in prison. You see? It makes no sense.


Quote: Just one thing I know for sure, chicks dig jerks. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

Just one thing I know for sure, chicks dig jerks.


Quote: While I've found many of the religious shows I've viewed over the years not to be to my liking, or in line with my own beliefs, I've never considered it my place to exert any greater type of censorship than changing the channel, or better yet -- turning off the TV completely. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of Bill Hicks quote; white text on black background

While I've found many of the religious shows I've viewed over the years not to be to my liking, or in line with my own beliefs, I've never considered it my place to exert any greater type of censorship than changing the channel, or better yet -- turning off the TV completely.


Quote: I believe that the Bible is the literal word of God. And I say no, it's not, Dad. Well, I believe that it is. Well, you know, some people believe they're Napoleon. That's fine. Beliefs are neat. Cherish them, but don't share them like they're the truth. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

I believe that the Bible is the literal word of God. And I say no, it's not, Dad. Well, I believe that it is. Well, you know, some people believe they're Napoleon. That's fine. Beliefs are neat. Cherish them, but don't share them like they're the truth.


Quote: Isn't that weird, we've made nature against the law. That's how un-natural we've become. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

Isn't that weird, we've made nature against the law. That's how un-natural we've become.


Quote: Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus.


Quote: I don't care if you're obscene, filthy, horrendous -- as long as you're honest. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

I don't care if you're obscene, filthy, horrendous -- as long as you're honest.


Quote: Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts...Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts...Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.


Quote: They believe the bible is the exact word of God -- Then they change the bible! Pretty presumptuous, hu huh? I think what God meant to say. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

They believe the bible is the exact word of God -- Then they change the bible! Pretty presumptuous, hu huh? I think what God meant to say.


Quote: You want a better world...? Legalize pot right now. ...end the deficit? Legalize pot right now...biggest cash crop in America. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

You want a better world...? Legalize pot right now. ...end the deficit? Legalize pot right now...biggest cash crop in America.


Quote: And on the seventh day, god stepped back and said and said, This is my creation, perfect in every way... oh, dammit I left all this pot all over the place. Now they'll think I want them to smoke it... Now I have to create Republicans. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

And on the seventh day, god stepped back and said and said, This is my creation, perfect in every way... oh, dammit I left all this pot all over the place. Now they'll think I want them to smoke it... Now I have to create Republicans.


Quote: The puppet on the right shares my beliefs, the puppet on the left is more to my liking. Hey...there's one guy holding up both! by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

The puppet on the right shares my beliefs, the puppet on the left is more to my liking. Hey...there's one guy holding up both!


Quote: Speaking of Satan, I was watching Rush Limbaugh the other day. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

Speaking of Satan, I was watching Rush Limbaugh the other day.


Quote: I wouldn't give Satan a snowball's chance in Hell against a woman's ego. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

I wouldn't give Satan a snowball's chance in Hell against a woman's ego.


Quote: I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids. I just don't want to see it. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids. I just don't want to see it.


Quote: You watch the news these days? It's unbelievable. You think you just walk out your door, you're immediately gonna be raped by some crack-addicted, AIDS-infected pitbull. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

You watch the news these days? It's unbelievable. You think you just walk out your door, you're immediately gonna be raped by some crack-addicted, AIDS-infected pitbull.


Quote: The war on drugs to me is absolutely phoney, its so obviously phoney, ok? It's a war against our civil rights, that's all it is. They're using it to make us afraid to go out at night, afraid of each other, so that we lock ourselves in our homes and they get suspending our rights one by one. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of Bill Hicks quote: The war on drugs to me is absolutely phoney, its so obviously phoney, ok? It's a war against our civil rights, that's all it is. They're using it to make us afraid to go out at night, afraid of each other, so that we lock ourselves in our homes and they get suspending our rights one by one.- black text on quotes background

The war on drugs to me is absolutely phoney, its so obviously phoney, ok? It's a war against our civil rights, that's all it is. They're using it to make us afraid to go out at night, afraid of each other, so that we lock ourselves in our homes and they get suspending our rights one by one.


Quote: We are losing the 'War on Drugs,' which means there's a war going on and people on drugs are winning it. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

We are losing the 'War on Drugs,' which means there's a war going on and people on drugs are winning it.


Quote: I'll tell you how to solve this abortion thing...Those unwanted babies...? Leave about 12 of them on the Supreme Court steps. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

I'll tell you how to solve this abortion thing...Those unwanted babies...? Leave about 12 of them on the Supreme Court steps.


Quote: When you're...stepping over a guy on the sidewalk...does it ever occur to you to think, 'Wow. Maybe our system doesn't work?' by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

When you're...stepping over a guy on the sidewalk...does it ever occur to you to think, 'Wow. Maybe our system doesn't work?'


Quote: People often ask me where I stand politically. It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

People often ask me where I stand politically. It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left.


Quote: It's not that I disagreed with Bush's economic policy... I believed he was a child of Satan here to destroy the planet. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

It's not that I disagreed with Bush's economic policy... I believed he was a child of Satan here to destroy the planet.


Quote: BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You're not a human being until you're in my phone book. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You're not a human being until you're in my phone book.


Quote: I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution.


Quote: I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution. OK, not the most popular idea ever expressed. Either that or you're all real high and agreeing with me in the only way you can right now. (Starts blinking). by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of Bill Hicks quote; white text on black background

I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution. OK, not the most popular idea ever expressed. Either that or you're all real high and agreeing with me in the only way you can right now. (Starts blinking).


Quote: I find it ironic that people who are against things that cause sexual thoughts are generally fundamentalist Christians who also believe you should be fruitful and multiply. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

I find it ironic that people who are against things that cause sexual thoughts are generally fundamentalist Christians who also believe you should be fruitful and multiply.


Quote: See we just had a misunderstanding. I thought we lived in the U.S. of A., the United States of America. But actually we live in the U.S. of A., the United States of Advertising. Freedom of expression is guaranteed? If you've got the money! by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

See we just had a misunderstanding. I thought we lived in the U.S. of A., the United States of America. But actually we live in the U.S. of A., the United States of Advertising. Freedom of expression is guaranteed? If you've got the money!


Quote: How do I know the Bible isn't the word of God? Well if it was the word of God it would be clear and easy to understand...considering God was the creator of LANGUAGE! by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

How do I know the Bible isn't the word of God? Well if it was the word of God it would be clear and easy to understand...considering God was the creator of LANGUAGE!


Quote: Sometimes my dad even gets on this kick -- 'You hate this country'....I have to tell him...I just hate being lied to. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

Sometimes my dad even gets on this kick -- 'You hate this country'....I have to tell him...I just hate being lied to.


Quote: A Christian will say... I believe God created me in one day Yeah, looks liked He rushed it. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

A Christian will say... I believe God created me in one day Yeah, looks liked He rushed it.


Quote: How come people always flip and think they're Jesus? Why not Buddha? Particularly in America, where more people resemble Buddha than Jesus. 'Ah'm BUDDHA!' 'You're Bubba!' 'Ah'm Buddha now..All I gotta do is change 3 letters on ma belt. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

How come people always flip and think they're Jesus? Why not Buddha? Particularly in America, where more people resemble Buddha than Jesus. 'Ah'm BUDDHA!' 'You're Bubba!' 'Ah'm Buddha now..All I gotta do is change 3 letters on ma belt.


Quote: It's my object to be stared at like a dog that's just been shown a card trick. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

It's my object to be stared at like a dog that's just been shown a card trick.


Quote: In Australia...they celebrate Easter the same...by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit...left chocolate eggs in the night. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

In Australia...they celebrate Easter the same...by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit...left chocolate eggs in the night.


Quote: I'm just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

I'm just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious.


Quote: There is a 3rd point of view on the gun control issue -- those who I refer to as THE VICTIMS -- but they remain strangely silent. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

There is a 3rd point of view on the gun control issue -- those who I refer to as THE VICTIMS -- but they remain strangely silent.


Quote: You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really un-evolved? by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really un-evolved?


Quote: Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. I believe God created me in one day. Yeah, looks like he rushed it. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. I believe God created me in one day. Yeah, looks like he rushed it.


Quote: I was in Australia....Lotta leg room down under. Apartments: dollar a month. 2000-acre den....think of the parties. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

I was in Australia....Lotta leg room down under. Apartments: dollar a month. 2000-acre den....think of the parties.




Quote: Rock stars hawking Diet Cokes -- are demons set loose on the Earth to lower the standards for the perfect and holy children of God! by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

Rock stars hawking Diet Cokes -- are demons set loose on the Earth to lower the standards for the perfect and holy children of God!


Quote: Yesterday, some hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shaftesbury. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

Yesterday, some hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shaftesbury.


Quote: No one knows what it's like ... to be a dustbin ... in Shaftesbury ... with hooligans. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

No one knows what it's like ... to be a dustbin ... in Shaftesbury ... with hooligans.


Quote: Well we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added 'em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages: 12,000 years. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

Well we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added 'em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages: 12,000 years.


Quote: I'd...bet enthusiasm for 'ethnic cleansing' will wane if only sticks and rocks are available for the warring parties. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

I'd...bet enthusiasm for 'ethnic cleansing' will wane if only sticks and rocks are available for the warring parties.


Quote: I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That's faith in action folks! You know he's got God on his side. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That's faith in action folks! You know he's got God on his side.


Quote: The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one.


Quote: I've been on what I call my UFO Tour, which means, like UFOs, I too have been appearing in small southern towns in front of a handful of hillbillies lately. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

I've been on what I call my UFO Tour, which means, like UFOs, I too have been appearing in small southern towns in front of a handful of hillbillies lately.


Quote: All drugs should be legal. War is wrong. The rich get richer. The poor get poorer. Thank you. I'll be here all week. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

All drugs should be legal. War is wrong. The rich get richer. The poor get poorer. Thank you. I'll be here all week.


Quote: And I'm not getting laid! What am I doing wrong? by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

And I'm not getting laid! What am I doing wrong?


Quote: Good comedy helps people know they're not alone. Great comedy provides an answer. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

Good comedy helps people know they're not alone. Great comedy provides an answer.


Quote: England, where no one has guns: 14 deaths. United States...23,000 deaths from handguns. But -- there's no connection. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

England, where no one has guns: 14 deaths. United States...23,000 deaths from handguns. But -- there's no connection.


Quote: What strikes me as funny about Elvis is that all the impersonators choose to do the Vegas Elvis; not the young, cool guy, always the bloated fool. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

What strikes me as funny about Elvis is that all the impersonators choose to do the Vegas Elvis; not the young, cool guy, always the bloated fool.


Quote: I wish I could meet a Christian who would proselytize to me, but they keep running away from me. I wanna talk to you all. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

I wish I could meet a Christian who would proselytize to me, but they keep running away from me. I wanna talk to you all.


Quote: It's an insane world, and I'm proud to be a part of it. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

It's an insane world, and I'm proud to be a part of it.


Quote: Keith Richards outlived Jim Fixx, the runner and health-nut dude. The plot thickens. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

Keith Richards outlived Jim Fixx, the runner and health-nut dude. The plot thickens.


Quote: All day long you see those commercials: 'Here's Your Brain, Just Say No'...and the next commercial is: 'This Bud's For You.' by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

All day long you see those commercials: 'Here's Your Brain, Just Say No'...and the next commercial is: 'This Bud's For You.'


Quote: I saw...a kid on a leash. You seen these people? Kid on a leash? How horrible. Put him in the pound where he belongs. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

I saw...a kid on a leash. You seen these people? Kid on a leash? How horrible. Put him in the pound where he belongs.


Quote: Oh my God. Lift me up out of this illusion, Lord. Heal my perception that I might know only reality and only you. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

Oh my God. Lift me up out of this illusion, Lord. Heal my perception that I might know only reality and only you.


Quote: I just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, 'What's wrong?' Nothing. 'Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile.' Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone? by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

I just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, 'What's wrong?' Nothing. 'Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile.' Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone?


Quote: Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.


Quote: I've said all that I've had to say. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

I've said all that I've had to say.


Quote: Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here's Love Connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here's Love Connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid.


Quote: To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake.


Quote: I...am an evolved being who deals solely with the source of light...in all of us in our own minds. No middleman required. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

I...am an evolved being who deals solely with the source of light...in all of us in our own minds. No middleman required.


Quote: I am a misanthropic humanist... Do I like people? They're great, IN THEORY. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

I am a misanthropic humanist... Do I like people? They're great, IN THEORY.


Quote: What did moths bump into before the electric light bulb was invented? Boy, the lightbulb really screwed the moth up didn't it? Are there moths on their way to the sun now going, It's gonna be worth it! by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

What did moths bump into before the electric light bulb was invented? Boy, the lightbulb really screwed the moth up didn't it? Are there moths on their way to the sun now going, It's gonna be worth it!


Quote: Oh -- won't we party hard when L.A. goes kersplash?...L.A. fell in the ocean?... There is a God. He loves us all so much. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

Oh -- won't we party hard when L.A. goes kersplash?...L.A. fell in the ocean?... There is a God. He loves us all so much.




Quote: Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.


Quote: Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.


Quote: We'll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God -- I am killing me! by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

We'll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God -- I am killing me!


Quote: I've had good times on drugs...bad times on drugs...But I've had good and bad relationships...and I'm not giving up pussy. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

I've had good times on drugs...bad times on drugs...But I've had good and bad relationships...and I'm not giving up pussy.


Quote: That's why I always recommend a psychedelic experience because it makes you realize that all you've learned is in fact just learned and not necessarily the truth. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

That's why I always recommend a psychedelic experience because it makes you realize that all you've learned is in fact just learned and not necessarily the truth.




Quote: It's really weird how your life changes. Tonight I'm drinking water. Four years ago? Opium. Night and day, you know? by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

It's really weird how your life changes. Tonight I'm drinking water. Four years ago? Opium. Night and day, you know?


Quote: They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven't proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing. I haven't seen the stats on that yet. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven't proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing. I haven't seen the stats on that yet.


Quote: It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.


Quote: You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. I believe God created me in one day. Yeah, looks like He rushed it. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. I believe God created me in one day. Yeah, looks like He rushed it.


Quote: Rock stars against drugs -- that's what we want, isn't it? Government-approved rock-n-roll? Woo! We're partying now! by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

Rock stars against drugs -- that's what we want, isn't it? Government-approved rock-n-roll? Woo! We're partying now!


Quote: Are gun rights advocates arguing that roving gangs...shooting innocent bystanders constitutes a 'well-regulated militia'? by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

Are gun rights advocates arguing that roving gangs...shooting innocent bystanders constitutes a 'well-regulated militia'?


Quote: Don't worry; don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

Don't worry; don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.


Quote: We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right? by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?


Quote: Oh sorry, I was taking life seriously. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

Oh sorry, I was taking life seriously.


Quote: I loved when Bush came out and said, 'We are losing the war against drugs.' You know what that implies? There's a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

I loved when Bush came out and said, 'We are losing the war against drugs.' You know what that implies? There's a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it.


Quote: I can't watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust. by author Bill Hicks overlaid on photo of photo of author Bill Hicks with quote

I can't watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.


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