65 Inspiring Quotes by Carol Burnett

When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go.

My grandmother and I would go see movies, and we'd come back to the apartment -- we had a one-room apartment in Hollywood -- and I would kind of lock myself in this little dressing room area with a cracked mirror on the door and act out what I had just seen.

It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others.

My grandmother and I followed my mother here, to a house a block north of Hollywood Boulevard but a million miles away from Hollywood, if you know what I mean. We would hang out behind the ropes and look at the movie stars arriving at the premieres.

Because nobody goes through life without a scar.

Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.

We don't stop going to school when we graduate.

Everybody I know who is funny, it's in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to tell a joke, though I don't like to tell jokes. But I think you have to be born with a sense of humor and a sense of timing.

I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?

But I don't begrudge anybody, because I know how hard it is to have that dream and to make it happen, whether or not it's just to put a roof over your head and food on the table.

You have to go through the falling down in order to learn to walk. It helps to know that you can survive it. That's an education in itself.

I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy.

It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.

I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins.

I'm really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh.

I'm glad I was born when I was. My time was the golden age of variety. If I were starting out again now, maybe things would happen for me, but it certainly would not be on a variety show with 28 musicians, 12 dancers, two major guest stars, 50 costumes a week by Bob Mackie. The networks just wouldn't spend the money today.

I was once asked to do my Tarzan yell at Bergdorf Goodman, and a guard burst in with a gun! Now I only do it under controlled circumstances.

I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up. I wish my grandmother had done the same. I wanted my girls to know me.

Originally, I came from Texas, and we lived on -- I guess you'd call it welfare, what we called relief.

I don't eat much meat, fish, or poultry.

I liked myself better when I wasn't me.

If you want to know the feeling of labor pain, just take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.

My interesting diet tips are eat early and don't nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away.

Funny is funny. I dare anyone to look at Tim Conway and Harvey Korman doing the dentist sketch, which is more than 40 years old, and not scream with laughter.

When things are a disappointment, try not to be so discouraged.

When I was in college at UCLA, I took a playwriting course. I was all set to be a writer. But I had to take this acting class as a theater arts major. I had to do this scene in a one-act comedy. I just said this line, and then... this laugh happened. I thought, 'Whoa. This is a really good feeling. What have I been missing?'

I do think there are some great female comics: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph. They're the whole ball of wax.

I love the writing. I love the idea of typing and seeing it on the computer and printing it out myself and, you know, moving sentences around. I like that.

As far as sitcoms go, I thought Jenna Elfman in 'Dharma and Greg' was a wonderful physical comedienne who had great timing.

I don't watch sitcoms. I really don't. My problem with them is they take so long to film them that there's no spontaneity. I want to see that.

It's not a bad thing to be able to do many things onstage. If you're an entertainer, you should be able to entertain. I'm proud to say that I'm not a one-trick pony.

In '57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my material for me. I lived at a place called the Rehearsal Club that was actually the basis for a play called Stage Door.

I was in California, and I was going to UCLA, and I knew I certainly didn't have movie star looks. I remember seeing pictures and photos of Ethel Merman and Mary Martin, who were kind of average looking. I said, 'Well, that's for me, then, to go back to New York and try to be in musical comedy on Broadway.'

I wanted to be on Broadway, but in musical comedy.

Jimmy Stewart and Lucille Ball were so unique.

My favourite comedian, of course, is Tim Conway. He has a way about him -- being that belly-laugh kind of funny, and he has the improvisational skills, too. I've never seen anybody better.

I'm into 'House of Cards.' 'Breaking Bad' -- my God, did I binge on that!

I was very entertained by Betty Grable and Judy Garland.

I struggled for a while, but when I was cast in an Off Broadway show called 'Once Upon a Mattress,' that kind of put me on the map.

No one ever said life was fair. Just Eventful.

I have always grown from my problems and challenges, from the things that don't work out, that's when I've really learned.

I had a good loud voice and I wasn't afraid to be goofy or zany.

I always had a weak chin because we couldn't afford to correct my bite, which could have been corrected with braces. So the chin was always weak. And I always was -- kind of hated my profile. And I thought wouldn't it be nice someday to feel the rain on your chin without having to look up.

I always preferred working with somebody so I could look into their eyeballs and play tennis.

Because of YouTube, I'm getting fan mail from 10-year-olds and teenagers and college kids.

If someone tells you that you cannot do something and you believe it, they are right.

Have you noticed that all you need to grow healthy, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk? Having a baby is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

I am not a person who yells at all, but I realized that I have always felt so good after doing the Tarzan yell, after doing Charo, or screaming as Eunice.

But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh.

I think the reason I was successful is that I was never cynical.

I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes.

I love to write. I have always loved writing. That was my first love.

I loved doing 'The Family' with Eunice and Mama. They were very interesting because there were no jokes written into those sketches. It was all character-driven. And sometimes it got a little heavy.

I am not a joke-teller. Stand-up, I couldn't do.

I never felt cynical, and I never felt that I couldn't do what I wanted to do.

What I like to write about is stuff I know. I don't think I could write a novel. I don't think I have it in me to come up with those kinds of characters.

I'm so happy with what has happened in my life.

When I went to New York to try and make it, I never thought it wouldn't happen.

Kristin Wiig I think is brilliant.

I love Maya Rudolph. She's very multitalented herself.

When I was starting out in this business, that was the norm. You did it all. You looked around, and entertainers could dance, sing, play the piano, act, make you laugh.

I'm like your mother, your sister, whatever.

I didn't really get comfortable until I got to UCLA, and I had to take an acting course because I was studying theater arts.

I eat very well, and I do Pilates.

Having a baby is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.