The Mets are gonna be amazing.

The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night looking for it.

You have to go broke three times to learn how to make a living.

Most ball games are lost, not won.

I was a left-handed dentist who made people cry.

We was going to get you a birthday cake, but we figured you'd drop it.

Why shouldn't he break Ruth's record? He's got more power than Stalin.

It's wonderful to meet so many friends that I didn't used to like.

You can get into the greatest business in the world because you can manufacture money by yourself on the field.

Left-handers have more enthusiasm for life. They sleep on the wrong side of the bed, and their head gets more stagnant on that side.

Take everything you can get over in center. The Dago's heel is hurting pretty bad.

The trouble with women umpires is that I couldn't argue with one. I'd put my arms around her and give her a little kiss.

He'd (Yogi Berra) fall in a sewer and come up with a gold watch.

They say you can't do it, but sometimes it doesn't always work.

I don't like them fellas who drive in two runs and let in three.

No baseball pitcher would be worth a darn without a catcher who could handle the hot fastball.

Never make predictions, especially about the future.

Okay everybody, line up in alphabetical order according to your height.

He's a smart-assed kid who's always sassin' people and gettin' away with it.

Finding good players is easy. Getting them to play as a team is another story.