Title Image - Quotes by Author Dorothy Parker

Quotes by Dorothy Parker (Page 2 of 2)



Quote: I find her anecdotes more efficacious than sheep-counting, rain on a tin roof, or alanol tablets.... you will find me and Morpheus, off in a corner, necking. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

I find her anecdotes more efficacious than sheep-counting, rain on a tin roof, or alanol tablets.... you will find me and Morpheus, off in a corner, necking.


Quote: What writes worse than a Theodore Dreiser? ... Two Theodore Dreisers. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

What writes worse than a Theodore Dreiser? ... Two Theodore Dreisers.


Quote: I fell into writing, I suppose, being one of those awful children who wrote verses. I went to a convent in New York-the Blessed Sacrament... I was fired from there, finally, for a lot of things, among them my insistence that the Immaculate Conception was spontaneous combustion. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of Dorothy Parker quote; white text on black background

I fell into writing, I suppose, being one of those awful children who wrote verses. I went to a convent in New York-the Blessed Sacrament... I was fired from there, finally, for a lot of things, among them my insistence that the Immaculate Conception was spontaneous combustion.


Quote: The writer's way is rough and lonely, and who would choose it while there are vacancies in more gracious professions, such as, say, cleaning out ferryboats? by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

The writer's way is rough and lonely, and who would choose it while there are vacancies in more gracious professions, such as, say, cleaning out ferryboats?


Quote: Mrs. Ewing was a short woman who accepted the obligation borne by so many short women to make up in vivacity what they lack in number of inches from the ground. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

Mrs. Ewing was a short woman who accepted the obligation borne by so many short women to make up in vivacity what they lack in number of inches from the ground.


Quote: But I give you my word, in the entire book there is nothing that cannot be said aloud in mixed company. And there is, also, nothing that makes you a bit the wiser. I wonder -- oh, what will you think of me -- if those two statements do not verge upon the synonymous. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of Dorothy Parker quote; white text on black background

But I give you my word, in the entire book there is nothing that cannot be said aloud in mixed company. And there is, also, nothing that makes you a bit the wiser. I wonder -- oh, what will you think of me -- if those two statements do not verge upon the synonymous.


Quote: If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they're happy. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they're happy.


Quote: Perhaps it suddenly brought to us the sense of change. Or irresponsibility. But don't forget that, though the people in the twenties seemed like flops, they weren't. Fitzgerald, the rest of them, reckless as they were, drinkers as they were, they worked damn hard and all the time. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of Dorothy Parker quote: Perhaps it suddenly brought to us the sense of change. Or irresponsibility. But don't forget that, though the people in the twenties seemed like flops, they weren't. Fitzgerald, the rest of them, reckless as they were, drinkers as they were, they worked damn hard and all the time.- black text on quotes background

Perhaps it suddenly brought to us the sense of change. Or irresponsibility. But don't forget that, though the people in the twenties seemed like flops, they weren't. Fitzgerald, the rest of them, reckless as they were, drinkers as they were, they worked damn hard and all the time.


Quote: Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.


Quote: I wanted to be cute. That's the terrible thing. I should have had more sense. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

I wanted to be cute. That's the terrible thing. I should have had more sense.


Quote: Guns aren't lawful; nooses give; gas smells awful. So you might as well live. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

Guns aren't lawful; nooses give; gas smells awful. So you might as well live.


Quote: The plot is so tired that even this reviewer, who in infancy was let drop by a nurse with the result that she has ever since been mystified by amateur coin tricks, was able to guess the identity of the murderer from the middle of the book. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

The plot is so tired that even this reviewer, who in infancy was let drop by a nurse with the result that she has ever since been mystified by amateur coin tricks, was able to guess the identity of the murderer from the middle of the book.


Quote: If wild my breast and sore my pride,
I bask in dreams of suicide,
If cool my heart and high my head
I think 'How lucky are the dead. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

If wild my breast and sore my pride,
I bask in dreams of suicide,
If cool my heart and high my head
I think 'How lucky are the dead.


Quote: Résumé
Razors pain you,
Rivers are damp,
Acids stain you,
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful,
Nooses give,
Gas smells awful.
You might as well live. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

Résumé
Razors pain you,
Rivers are damp,
Acids stain you,
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful,
Nooses give,
Gas smells awful.
You might as well live.


Quote: On Oscar Wilde:

If, with the literate, I am
Impelled to try an epigram,
I never seek to take the credit;
We all assume that Oscar said it.

Life Magazine, June 2, 1927. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

On Oscar Wilde:

If, with the literate, I am
Impelled to try an epigram,
I never seek to take the credit;
We all assume that Oscar said it.

Life Magazine, June 2, 1927.


Quote: Where's the man that could ease a heart like a satin gown? by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

Where's the man that could ease a heart like a satin gown?


Quote: Summer makes me drowsy. Autumn makes me sing. Winter's pretty lousy, but I hate Spring. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

Summer makes me drowsy. Autumn makes me sing. Winter's pretty lousy, but I hate Spring.


Quote: All those writers who write about their own childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn't sit in the same room with me. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

All those writers who write about their own childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn't sit in the same room with me.


Quote: Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.


Quote: Daily dawns another day;
I must up, to make my way.
Though I dress and drink and eat,
Move my fingers and my feet,
Learn a little, here and there,
Weep and laugh and sweat and swear,
Hear a song, or watch a stage,
Leave some words upon a page,
Claim a foe, or hail a friend-
Bed awaits me at the end. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of Dorothy Parker quote: Daily dawns another day;
I must up, to make my way.
Though I dress and drink and eat,
Move my fingers and my feet,
Learn a little, here and there,
Weep and laugh and sweat and swear,
Hear a song, or watch a stage,
Leave some words upon a page,
Claim a foe, or hail a friend-
Bed awaits me at the end.- black text on quotes background

Daily dawns another day;
I must up, to make my way.
Though I dress and drink and eat,
Move my fingers and my feet,
Learn a little, here and there,
Weep and laugh and sweat and swear,
Hear a song, or watch a stage,
Leave some words upon a page,
Claim a foe, or hail a friend-
Bed awaits me at the end.


Quote: One more drink and I'd have been under the host. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

One more drink and I'd have been under the host.


Quote: Money is only congealed snow. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

Money is only congealed snow.


Quote: By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing.
And he vows his passion is,
Infinite, undying.
Lady make note of this -- 
One of you is lying. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing.
And he vows his passion is,
Infinite, undying.
Lady make note of this --
One of you is lying.


Quote: There is entirely too much charm around, and something must be done to stop it. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

There is entirely too much charm around, and something must be done to stop it.


Quote: If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they're happy. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they're happy.


Quote: If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.


Quote: Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.). by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.).


Quote: Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

A: You can't hear an enzyme. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

A: You can't hear an enzyme.


Quote: She was pleased to have him come and never sorry to see him go. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

She was pleased to have him come and never sorry to see him go.




Quote: Tomorrow's gone-we'll have tonight! by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

Tomorrow's gone-we'll have tonight!


Quote: I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.


Quote: Prince or commoner, tenor or bass,
Painter or plumber or never-do-well,
Do me a favor and shut your face -
Poets alone should kiss and tell. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

Prince or commoner, tenor or bass,
Painter or plumber or never-do-well,
Do me a favor and shut your face -
Poets alone should kiss and tell.


Quote: How do people go to sleep? I'm afraid I've lost the knack. I might try busting myself smartly over the temple with the night-light. I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember any of the damn things. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of Dorothy Parker quote; white text on black background

How do people go to sleep? I'm afraid I've lost the knack. I might try busting myself smartly over the temple with the night-light. I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember any of the damn things.


Quote: I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.


Quote: I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host.


Quote: And if my heart be scarred and burned,
The safer, I, for all I learned. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

And if my heart be scarred and burned,
The safer, I, for all I learned.


Quote: I've finally gotten to the bottom of things. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

I've finally gotten to the bottom of things.


Quote: That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.


Quote: I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.


Quote: This isn't my head I've got on now. I think this is something that used to belong to Walt Whitman. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

This isn't my head I've got on now. I think this is something that used to belong to Walt Whitman.


Quote: Yet, as only New Yorkers know, if you can get through the twilight, you'll live through the night. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

Yet, as only New Yorkers know, if you can get through the twilight, you'll live through the night.


Quote: I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.


Quote: The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.


Quote: A hangover is the wrath of grapes. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.


Quote: I hate almost all rich people, but I think I'd be darling at it. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

I hate almost all rich people, but I think I'd be darling at it.


Quote: Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.


Quote: I was the toast of two continents: Greenland and Australia. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

I was the toast of two continents: Greenland and Australia.


Quote: Prince or commoner, tenor or bass, Painter or plumber or never-do-well, Do me a favor and shut your face -- Poets alone should kiss and tell. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

Prince or commoner, tenor or bass, Painter or plumber or never-do-well, Do me a favor and shut your face -- Poets alone should kiss and tell.


Quote: Ducking for apples -- change one letter and it's the story of my life. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

Ducking for apples -- change one letter and it's the story of my life.


Quote: I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.


Quote: Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, a medley of extemporanea, And love is a thing that can never go wrong, and I am Marie of Romania. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, a medley of extemporanea, And love is a thing that can never go wrong, and I am Marie of Romania.


Quote: Los Angeles: Seventy-two suburbs in search of a city. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

Los Angeles: Seventy-two suburbs in search of a city.


Quote: London is satisfied, Paris is resigned, but New York is always hopeful. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

London is satisfied, Paris is resigned, but New York is always hopeful.


Quote: London is satisfied, Paris is resigned, but New York is always hopeful. Always it believes that something good is about to come off, and it must hurry to meet it. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

London is satisfied, Paris is resigned, but New York is always hopeful. Always it believes that something good is about to come off, and it must hurry to meet it.




Quote: Women and elephants never forget. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

Women and elephants never forget.


Quote: The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'cheque enclosed. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'cheque enclosed.


Quote: I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours.


Quote: Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.




Quote: Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.


Quote: The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.


Quote: In youth, it was a way I had,
To do my best to please.
And change, with every passing lad
To suit his theories.

But now I know the things I know
And do the things I do,
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

In youth, it was a way I had,
To do my best to please.
And change, with every passing lad
To suit his theories.

But now I know the things I know
And do the things I do,
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you.


Quote: Sorrow is tranquility remembered in emotion. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

Sorrow is tranquility remembered in emotion.


Quote: They sicken of the calm who know the storm. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

They sicken of the calm who know the storm.


Quote: Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded
wheelchair. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded
wheelchair.


Quote: If you're going to write, don't pretend to write down. It's going to be the best you can do, and it's the fact that it's the best you can do that kills you. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

If you're going to write, don't pretend to write down. It's going to be the best you can do, and it's the fact that it's the best you can do that kills you.




Quote: Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.


Quote: Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.


Quote: That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.


Quote: When you have to apologize, it is well, I suppose, to get the thing over quickly. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

When you have to apologize, it is well, I suppose, to get the thing over quickly.


Quote: The sweeter the apple, the blacker the core. Scratch a lover and find a foe! by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

The sweeter the apple, the blacker the core. Scratch a lover and find a foe!


Quote: I hate writing, I love having written. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

I hate writing, I love having written.


Quote: If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?


Quote: Why is it no one sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it's always just my luck to get one perfect rose. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

Why is it no one sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it's always just my luck to get one perfect rose.


Quote: I never see that prettiest thing-
A cherry bough gone white with Spring-
But what I think, How gay 'twould be
To hang me from a flowering tree. by author Dorothy Parker overlaid on photo of photo of author Dorothy Parker with quote

I never see that prettiest thing-
A cherry bough gone white with Spring-
But what I think, How gay 'twould be
To hang me from a flowering tree.


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