photo of Frank ZappaPhoto Credit: WikiMedia Commons

Quotes by Frank Zappa

Welcome to our collection of quotes (with shareable picture quotes) by Frank Zappa. We hope you enjoy pondering them and that you will share them widely.

Wikipedia Summary for Frank Zappa

Frank Vincent Zappa (December 21, 1940 – December 4, 1993) was an American singer-songwriter, innovative rock guitarist, modernist composer, multi-instrumentalist, satirist, film-maker, and bandleader. His work is characterized by nonconformity, free-form improvisation, sound experiments, musical virtuosity, and satire of American culture. In a career spanning more than 30 years, Zappa composed rock, pop, jazz, jazz fusion, orchestral and musique concrète works, and produced almost all of the 60-plus albums that he released with his band the Mothers of Invention and as a solo artist. Zappa also directed feature-length films and music videos, and designed album covers. He is considered one of the most innovative and stylistically diverse rock musicians of his era.\n\nAs a self-taught composer and performer, Zappa had diverse musical influences that led him to create music that was sometimes difficult to categorize. While in his teens, he acquired a taste for 20th-century classical modernism, African-American rhythm and blues, and doo-wop music. He began writing classical music in high school, while at the same time playing drums in rhythm and blues bands, later switching to electric guitar. His 1966 debut album with the Mothers of Invention, Freak Out!, combined songs in conventional rock and roll format with collective improvisations and studio-generated sound collages. He continued this eclectic and experimental approach whether the fundamental format was rock, jazz, or classical.

Zappa's output is unified by a conceptual continuity he termed "Project/Object", with numerous musical phrases, ideas, and characters reappearing across his albums. His lyrics reflected his iconoclastic views of established social and political processes, structures and movements, often humorously so, and he has been described as the "godfather" of comedy rock. He was a strident critic of mainstream education and organized religion, and a forthright and passionate advocate for freedom of speech, self-education, political participation and the abolition of censorship. Unlike many other rock musicians of his generation, he disapproved of drugs but supported their decriminalization and regulation.

Zappa was a highly productive and prolific artist with a controversial critical standing; supporters of his music admired its compositional complexity, while critics found it lacking emotional depth. He had some commercial success, particularly in Europe, and worked as an independent artist for most of his career. He remains a major influence on musicians and composers. His honors include his 1995 induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and the 1997 Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award.

Quote: Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of black mountain under blue sky during night time
Photo Credit: Marcus Dall Col

Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid.


Quote: Some people. Some people like cupcakes exclusively, while myself, I say, There is naught nor ought there be nothing so exalted on the face of god's grey earth as that prince of foods. the muffin! by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Some people. Some people like cupcakes exclusively, while myself, I say, There is naught nor ought there be nothing so exalted on the face of god's grey earth as that prince of foods. the muffin!


Quote: To me absurdity is the only reality. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

To me absurdity is the only reality.


Quote: Beware of the fish people, they are the true enemy. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Beware of the fish people, they are the true enemy.


Quote: She use to knock me out until her face broke out. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

She use to knock me out until her face broke out.


Quote: If classical music is the state of the art, then the arts are in a sad state. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

If classical music is the state of the art, then the arts are in a sad state.


Quote: The difference between religions and cults is determined by how much real estate is owned. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

The difference between religions and cults is determined by how much real estate is owned.


Quote: One and one is eleven. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

One and one is eleven.


Quote: A composer's job involves the decoration of fragments of time. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

A composer's job involves the decoration of fragments of time.


Quote: Modern Americans behave as if intelligence were some sort of hideous deformity. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Modern Americans behave as if intelligence were some sort of hideous deformity.


Quote: You've got to be digging it while it's happening 'cause it just might be a one shot deal. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

You've got to be digging it while it's happening 'cause it just might be a one shot deal.


Quote: The typical rock fan is not smart enough to know when he is being dumped on. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

The typical rock fan is not smart enough to know when he is being dumped on.


Quote: My English teacher, he's like, he's like Mr. Bu-fu. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

My English teacher, he's like, he's like Mr. Bu-fu.


Quote: It's the same mysterious exotic oriental fragrance as what the Beatles get off on. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

It's the same mysterious exotic oriental fragrance as what the Beatles get off on.


Quote: I knew Jimi (Hendrix) and I think that the best thing you could say about Jimi was: there was a person who shouldn't use drugs. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

I knew Jimi (Hendrix) and I think that the best thing you could say about Jimi was: there was a person who shouldn't use drugs.


Quote: Hendrix is one of the most revolutionary figures in today's pop culture, musically and sociologically. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Hendrix is one of the most revolutionary figures in today's pop culture, musically and sociologically.


Quote: You is what you am, a cow don't make ham. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

You is what you am, a cow don't make ham.


Quote: Let's not be too tough on our own ignorance. It's the thing that makes America great. If America weren't incomparably ignorant, how could we have tolerated the last eight years? by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Let's not be too tough on our own ignorance. It's the thing that makes America great. If America weren't incomparably ignorant, how could we have tolerated the last eight years?


Quote: If your children ever find out how lame you really are, they'll murder you in your sleep. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

If your children ever find out how lame you really are, they'll murder you in your sleep.


Quote: Well Mike, I'm abnormal. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Well Mike, I'm abnormal.


Quote: In every language, the first word after Mama! that every kid learns to say is Mine! A system that doesn't allow ownership, that doesn't allow you to say Mine! when you grow up, has -- to put in mildly -- a fatal design flaw. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

In every language, the first word after Mama! that every kid learns to say is Mine! A system that doesn't allow ownership, that doesn't allow you to say Mine! when you grow up, has -- to put in mildly -- a fatal design flaw.






Quote: On the Planet of Baritone women, they talk low. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

On the Planet of Baritone women, they talk low.


Quote: Elmer has the mentality of approximately one peanut. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Elmer has the mentality of approximately one peanut.




Quote: My balls feel like a pair of maracas. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

My balls feel like a pair of maracas.


Quote: While your children are sleeping, your puppy is crappin'. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

While your children are sleeping, your puppy is crappin'.


Quote: I write what I like to write. Those who like to listen to it, listen to it. And the ones who don't, watch football and drink beer, jog, go to discos and so forth. I never claimed to be a man for all seasons. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

I write what I like to write. Those who like to listen to it, listen to it. And the ones who don't, watch football and drink beer, jog, go to discos and so forth. I never claimed to be a man for all seasons.


Quote: I never have no trouble with my rubber girl. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

I never have no trouble with my rubber girl.


Quote: Producing satire is kind of hopeless because of the literacy rate of the American public. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Producing satire is kind of hopeless because of the literacy rate of the American public.


Quote: He likes to flirt with all the boys in the class. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

He likes to flirt with all the boys in the class.


Quote: The Ultimate Rule ought to be: 'If it sounds GOOD to you, it's bitchin'; if it sounds BAD to YOU, it's shitty. The more your musical experience, the easier it is to define for yourself what you like and what you don't like. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

The Ultimate Rule ought to be: 'If it sounds GOOD to you, it's bitchin'; if it sounds BAD to YOU, it's shitty. The more your musical experience, the easier it is to define for yourself what you like and what you don't like.

Longer Version/[Notes]:

The Ultimate Rule ought to be: 'If it sounds GOOD to you, it's bitchin'; if it sounds BAD to YOU, it's shitty. The more your musical experience, the easier it is to define for yourself what you like and what you don't like. American radio listeners, raised on a diet of _____ (fill in the blank), have experienced a musical universe so small they cannot begin to know what they like.


Quote: I'm not going to be Bill Clinton and say I never inhaled. I did inhale. I liked tobacco a lot better. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

I'm not going to be Bill Clinton and say I never inhaled. I did inhale. I liked tobacco a lot better.


Quote: Tobacco is my favorite vegetable. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Tobacco is my favorite vegetable.


Quote: I'm probably more famous for sitting on the toilet than for anything else that I do. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

I'm probably more famous for sitting on the toilet than for anything else that I do.


Quote: Only thirteen, and she knows how to nasty. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Only thirteen, and she knows how to nasty.


Quote: There are three things that smell of fish. One of them is fish. The other two are growing on you! by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

There are three things that smell of fish. One of them is fish. The other two are growing on you!


Quote: Being interviewed is one of the most abnormal things that you can do to somebody else. It's two steps removed from the Inquisition. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Being interviewed is one of the most abnormal things that you can do to somebody else. It's two steps removed from the Inquisition.


Quote: Fact of the matter is, there is no hip world, there is no straight world. There's a world, you see which has people in it who believe a variety of different things. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Fact of the matter is, there is no hip world, there is no straight world. There's a world, you see which has people in it who believe a variety of different things.


Quote: Most people don't bother about their friends in the vegetable kingdom. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Most people don't bother about their friends in the vegetable kingdom.


Quote: It is always advisable to be a loser if you cannot become a winner. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

It is always advisable to be a loser if you cannot become a winner.


Quote: The most important thing in art is The Frame. For painting: literally; for other arts: figuratively -- because without this humble appliance, you can't know where The Art stops and The Real World begins. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

The most important thing in art is The Frame. For painting: literally; for other arts: figuratively -- because without this humble appliance, you can't know where The Art stops and The Real World begins.


Quote: I think that people are entitled to be amused, and entertained. If they see deviations from this classical norm, it's probably good for their mental health. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

I think that people are entitled to be amused, and entertained. If they see deviations from this classical norm, it's probably good for their mental health.


Quote: Classical music is this music that was written by a bunch of dead people a long time ago. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Classical music is this music that was written by a bunch of dead people a long time ago.


Quote: Look here brother, who you jivin' with that cosmik debris? by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Look here brother, who you jivin' with that cosmik debris?


Quote: The lifestyle that I have is probably neither desirable nor useful to most people. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

The lifestyle that I have is probably neither desirable nor useful to most people.


Quote: The disgusting stink of a too-loud electric guitar; now that's my idea of a good time. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

The disgusting stink of a too-loud electric guitar; now that's my idea of a good time.


Quote: Outdoors for me is walking from the car to the ticket desk at the airport. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Outdoors for me is walking from the car to the ticket desk at the airport.


Quote: I think love lyrics have contributed to the general aura of bad mental health in America. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

I think love lyrics have contributed to the general aura of bad mental health in America.


Quote: Reality is what it is, not what you want it to be. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Reality is what it is, not what you want it to be.


Quote: Behind each breakaway movement is a breakaway demagogue who will set up his breakaway demagogue government. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Behind each breakaway movement is a breakaway demagogue who will set up his breakaway demagogue government.


Quote: He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my right eye. He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my other eye. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my right eye. He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my other eye.


Quote: Hey ugly folks, go get some cyanide and die. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Hey ugly folks, go get some cyanide and die.


Quote: The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin'. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin'.


Quote: There is no such thing as a dirty word. Nor is there a word so powerful, that it's going to send the listener to the lake of fire upon hearing it. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

There is no such thing as a dirty word. Nor is there a word so powerful, that it's going to send the listener to the lake of fire upon hearing it.


Quote: I mean, if you want to hurt yourself, go ahead. It's like, if you want to jack off, go ahead, just don't 'spoo' on a public bus or something . Do whatever you want to do. Just don't get it in somebody else's face. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

I mean, if you want to hurt yourself, go ahead. It's like, if you want to jack off, go ahead, just don't 'spoo' on a public bus or something . Do whatever you want to do. Just don't get it in somebody else's face.


Quote: The problem with drugs is that most of the people that use the drugs, use it as a license to be an asshole. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

The problem with drugs is that most of the people that use the drugs, use it as a license to be an asshole.


Quote: Cocaine decisions that you make today, will mean nothing later on when you get nose decay. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Cocaine decisions that you make today, will mean nothing later on when you get nose decay.


Quote: A drug is neither moral nor immoral -- it's a chemical compound. The compound itself is not a menace to society until a human being treats it as if consumption bestowed a temporary license to act like an asshole. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

A drug is neither moral nor immoral -- it's a chemical compound. The compound itself is not a menace to society until a human being treats it as if consumption bestowed a temporary license to act like an asshole.


Quote: I'm in a big dilemma about my Big-Leg Emma. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

I'm in a big dilemma about my Big-Leg Emma.


Quote: Don't mind your make-up, you'd better make your mind up. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Don't mind your make-up, you'd better make your mind up.


Quote: Hey, let's get serious... God knows what he's doin' He wrote this book here And the book says: 'He made us all to be just like Him', So... If we're dumb... Then God is dumb... (And maybe even a little ugly on the side). by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Hey, let's get serious... God knows what he's doin' He wrote this book here And the book says: 'He made us all to be just like Him', So... If we're dumb... Then God is dumb... (And maybe even a little ugly on the side).


Quote: She is an office girl, her name is Betty. Her favorite group is Helen Reddy. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

She is an office girl, her name is Betty. Her favorite group is Helen Reddy.


Quote: Tighten my headband for an extra rush. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Tighten my headband for an extra rush.


Quote: Nobody gives a crap if we're great musicians. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Nobody gives a crap if we're great musicians.


Quote: I want a girl that can swallow my pride. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

I want a girl that can swallow my pride.


Quote: The most abundant element in the Universe is stupidity. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

The most abundant element in the Universe is stupidity.


Quote: The FCC extorts broadcasters by threatening to take away their licenses for infringements which are usually the result of complaints from an extreme, right wing, tiny bunch of individuals. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

The FCC extorts broadcasters by threatening to take away their licenses for infringements which are usually the result of complaints from an extreme, right wing, tiny bunch of individuals.


Quote: I don't expect that Albert Gore is going to become president, and I certainly hope we never see Tipper Gore in the White House. Can you imagine Tipper saying, Just say no? by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

I don't expect that Albert Gore is going to become president, and I certainly hope we never see Tipper Gore in the White House. Can you imagine Tipper saying, Just say no?


Quote: Mr. Gorbachev has apparently stumbled onto one of the best-kept secrets in recent Soviet history: Communism doesn't work. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Mr. Gorbachev has apparently stumbled onto one of the best-kept secrets in recent Soviet history: Communism doesn't work.




Quote: The richest people in the world aren't particularly smart or happy. And the happiest people in the world aren't particularly smart or rich.… That leaves me making music. But we can't talk about that. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

The richest people in the world aren't particularly smart or happy. And the happiest people in the world aren't particularly smart or rich.… That leaves me making music. But we can't talk about that.


Quote: So much gets lost in the translation. Even if you sat there listening to it with a microscope, there's no way you're gonna find out what it means. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

So much gets lost in the translation. Even if you sat there listening to it with a microscope, there's no way you're gonna find out what it means.


Quote: Love of my life, I love you so. Love of my life, don't ever go. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Love of my life, I love you so. Love of my life, don't ever go.


Quote: Sexual gratification can only be achieved through the use of machines. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Sexual gratification can only be achieved through the use of machines.


Quote: She lives in Mojave in a Winnebago. His name is Bobby, he looks like a potato. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

She lives in Mojave in a Winnebago. His name is Bobby, he looks like a potato.


Quote: Beauty is a pair of shoes that makes you wanna die. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Beauty is a pair of shoes that makes you wanna die.


Quote: People make a lot of fuss about my kids having such supposedly 'strange names,' but the fact is that no matter what first names I might have given them, it is the last name that is going to get them in trouble. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

People make a lot of fuss about my kids having such supposedly 'strange names,' but the fact is that no matter what first names I might have given them, it is the last name that is going to get them in trouble.


Quote: I would say that today, dishonesty is the rule, and honesty the exception. It could be, statistically, that more people are honest than dishonest, but the few that really control things are not honest, and that tips the balance. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

I would say that today, dishonesty is the rule, and honesty the exception. It could be, statistically, that more people are honest than dishonest, but the few that really control things are not honest, and that tips the balance.


Quote: Believe it or not, there are places in the world where music is important. There are places in the world where all the arts are a matter of national pride. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Believe it or not, there are places in the world where music is important. There are places in the world where all the arts are a matter of national pride.


Quote: Ram it up your poop chute. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Ram it up your poop chute.


Quote: I'm the devil's advocate. We have our own worshipers. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

I'm the devil's advocate. We have our own worshipers.


Quote: Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons.




Quote: A true Zen saying: Nothing is what I want. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

A true Zen saying: Nothing is what I want.


Quote: On a personal level, Freaking Out is a process whereby an individual casts off outmoded and restricting standards of thinking, dress, and social etiquette in order to express creatively his relationship to his immediate environment and the social structure as a whole. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of Frank Zappa quote; white text on black background

On a personal level, Freaking Out is a process whereby an individual casts off outmoded and restricting standards of thinking, dress, and social etiquette in order to express creatively his relationship to his immediate environment and the social structure as a whole.


Quote: Stupidity is the basic building block of the universe. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Stupidity is the basic building block of the universe.


Quote: I think that if you use the so-called strong words you'll get your point across faster and you can save a lot of beating around the bush. Why are people afraid of words? Sometimes the dumbest thing that gets said makes the point for you. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

I think that if you use the so-called strong words you'll get your point across faster and you can save a lot of beating around the bush. Why are people afraid of words? Sometimes the dumbest thing that gets said makes the point for you.




Quote: Did he really choose Tammy to do his work? by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Did he really choose Tammy to do his work?


Quote: Scientology, how about that? You hold on to the tin cans and then this guy asks you a bunch of questions, and if you pay enough money you get to join the master race. How's that for a religion ? by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Scientology, how about that? You hold on to the tin cans and then this guy asks you a bunch of questions, and if you pay enough money you get to join the master race. How's that for a religion ?


Quote: Okay, it was the Tree of Knowledge. You eat this apple; you're going to be as smart as God. We can't have that. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Okay, it was the Tree of Knowledge. You eat this apple; you're going to be as smart as God. We can't have that.


Quote: The people of your century no longer require the service of composers. A composer is as useful to a person in a jogging suit as a dinsoaur turd in the middle of his runway. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

The people of your century no longer require the service of composers. A composer is as useful to a person in a jogging suit as a dinsoaur turd in the middle of his runway.


Quote: I want a steamy little Jewish Princess with over-worked gums, who squeaks when she cums. I don't want no troll, I just want a Yemenite hole. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

I want a steamy little Jewish Princess with over-worked gums, who squeaks when she cums. I don't want no troll, I just want a Yemenite hole.


Quote: Sit and spin 'til you rot on the cosmic utensil. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Sit and spin 'til you rot on the cosmic utensil.


Quote: Since I didn't have any kind of formal training, it didn't make any difference to me if I was listening to Lightnin' Slim, or a vocal group called the Jewels ... , or Webern, or Varèse, or Stravinsky. To me it was all good music. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Since I didn't have any kind of formal training, it didn't make any difference to me if I was listening to Lightnin' Slim, or a vocal group called the Jewels ... , or Webern, or Varèse, or Stravinsky. To me it was all good music.


Quote: Is this something new, having people stomp on you? Is it what I need to do for your pleasure? by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Is this something new, having people stomp on you? Is it what I need to do for your pleasure?


Quote: People are just waiting around to get certified. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

People are just waiting around to get certified.






Quote: Wisdom is not the domain of the Wiz. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Wisdom is not the domain of the Wiz.


Quote: The more you can escape from how horrible things really are, the less it's going to bother you...and then, the worse things get. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

The more you can escape from how horrible things really are, the less it's going to bother you...and then, the worse things get.


Quote: A wise man once said, never discuss philosophy or politics in a disco environment. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

A wise man once said, never discuss philosophy or politics in a disco environment.


Quote: I have an important message to deliver to all the cute people all over the world. If you're out there and you're cute, maybe you're beautiful. I just want to tell you somethin' -- there's more of us UGLY MOTHERFUCKERS than you are, hey-y, so watch out. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

I have an important message to deliver to all the cute people all over the world. If you're out there and you're cute, maybe you're beautiful. I just want to tell you somethin' -- there's more of us UGLY MOTHERFUCKERS than you are, hey-y, so watch out.


Quote: I think the anti-smoking business is a yuppie invention-an extension of the concept that we'll always be young, rich, and healthy. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

I think the anti-smoking business is a yuppie invention-an extension of the concept that we'll always be young, rich, and healthy.


Quote: Roller-skates and disco are a lot of fun, I'm much too young and stupid to operate a gun. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Roller-skates and disco are a lot of fun, I'm much too young and stupid to operate a gun.


Quote: Guitar playing, as currently understood, has more to do with sports than it does to do with music. It's an Olympic challenge type of situation. The challenges are in the realm of speed, redundancy, choreography, and grooming... ...clouds of educated gnat-notes. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Guitar playing, as currently understood, has more to do with sports than it does to do with music. It's an Olympic challenge type of situation. The challenges are in the realm of speed, redundancy, choreography, and grooming... ...clouds of educated gnat-notes.




Quote: The Very Big Stupid is a thing which breeds by eating The Future. Have you seen it? It sometimes disguises itself as a good-looking quarterly bottom line, derived by closing the RandD department. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

The Very Big Stupid is a thing which breeds by eating The Future. Have you seen it? It sometimes disguises itself as a good-looking quarterly bottom line, derived by closing the RandD department.


Quote: Power will be maintained by the groovy guy or gal who gets the most media coverage for his sleaze. Naturally, his friends in various businesses will do okay, too. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Power will be maintained by the groovy guy or gal who gets the most media coverage for his sleaze. Naturally, his friends in various businesses will do okay, too.


Quote: Scientists believe that the universe is made of hydrogen because they claim it's the most plentiful ingredient. I claim that the most plentiful ingredient is stupidity. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Scientists believe that the universe is made of hydrogen because they claim it's the most plentiful ingredient. I claim that the most plentiful ingredient is stupidity.


Quote: Love lyrics have contributed to the general aura of bad mental health in America. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Love lyrics have contributed to the general aura of bad mental health in America.


Quote: The whole music business in the United States is based on numbers, based on unit sales and not on quality. It's not based on beauty, it's based on hype and it's based on cocaine. It's based on giving presents of large packages of dollars to play records on the air. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of Frank Zappa quote; white text on black background

The whole music business in the United States is based on numbers, based on unit sales and not on quality. It's not based on beauty, it's based on hype and it's based on cocaine. It's based on giving presents of large packages of dollars to play records on the air.


Quote: I think that if a person doesn't feel cynical then they're out of phase with the 20th century. Being cynical is the only way to deal with modern civilization -- you can't just swallow it whole. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

I think that if a person doesn't feel cynical then they're out of phase with the 20th century. Being cynical is the only way to deal with modern civilization -- you can't just swallow it whole.


Quote: The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons and 85% morons. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons and 85% morons.


Quote: Modern music is people who can't think signing artists who can't write songs to make records for people who can't hear. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Modern music is people who can't think signing artists who can't write songs to make records for people who can't hear.


Quote: The whiskers sticking up from underneath his pancake makeup, and yet he was a beautiful lady. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

The whiskers sticking up from underneath his pancake makeup, and yet he was a beautiful lady.


Quote: It would be easier to pay off the national debt overnight than to neutralise the long-range effects of our national stupidity. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

It would be easier to pay off the national debt overnight than to neutralise the long-range effects of our national stupidity.


Quote: I proceeded to take that mitten full of the deadly yellow snow crystals and rub it all into his beady little eyes with a vigorous circular motion. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

I proceeded to take that mitten full of the deadly yellow snow crystals and rub it all into his beady little eyes with a vigorous circular motion.


Quote: Her head is full of bubbles, her nose is petite, she looks like she never gets nothing to eat. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Her head is full of bubbles, her nose is petite, she looks like she never gets nothing to eat.


Quote: I don't want to see any religious people in public office because they're working for another boss. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

I don't want to see any religious people in public office because they're working for another boss.


Quote: The kerosene record player is not a very efficient device. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

The kerosene record player is not a very efficient device.


Quote: I can take about an hour on the tower of power, as long as I gets a little golden shower. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

I can take about an hour on the tower of power, as long as I gets a little golden shower.


Quote: In your dreams you can see yourself as a prophet saving the world. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

In your dreams you can see yourself as a prophet saving the world.


Quote: Kid's heads are filled with so many nonfacts that when they get out of school they're totally unprepared to do anything. They can't read, they can't write, they can't think. Talk about child abuse. The U.S. school system as a whole qualifies. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Kid's heads are filled with so many nonfacts that when they get out of school they're totally unprepared to do anything. They can't read, they can't write, they can't think. Talk about child abuse. The U.S. school system as a whole qualifies.


Quote: When they dumped all these people out of the insane asylums they didn't all go sleep in the street. Some of them moved into suburbia, and started writing postcards to the FCC. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

When they dumped all these people out of the insane asylums they didn't all go sleep in the street. Some of them moved into suburbia, and started writing postcards to the FCC.


Quote: It's a despicable thing to share your personal inner torment for money. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

It's a despicable thing to share your personal inner torment for money.




Quote: Tosses her head and flips her hair, she got a whole bunch of nothing in there. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Tosses her head and flips her hair, she got a whole bunch of nothing in there.


Quote: The NRA, with the fingers on the triggers when they kneel and pray. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

The NRA, with the fingers on the triggers when they kneel and pray.


Quote: America was founded by the refuse of the religious fanatics of England, these undesirable elements that came over on the Mayflower. Ignorant, religious fanatics who land here and abuse the Indians. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

America was founded by the refuse of the religious fanatics of England, these undesirable elements that came over on the Mayflower. Ignorant, religious fanatics who land here and abuse the Indians.


Quote: Science is moving closer to weaponry, and Art is moving closer to commercialism. And never the twain shall meet. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Science is moving closer to weaponry, and Art is moving closer to commercialism. And never the twain shall meet.


Quote: Our criminal institutions are full of creeps like you who do wrong things, and many of them were driven to these crimes by the horrible force called music. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Our criminal institutions are full of creeps like you who do wrong things, and many of them were driven to these crimes by the horrible force called music.


Quote: Music without the ebb and flow would be like watching a film with only good guys in it. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Music without the ebb and flow would be like watching a film with only good guys in it.


Quote: Don't eat the yellow snow. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Don't eat the yellow snow.


Quote: Anybody who wants religion is welcome to it, as far as I'm concerned -- I support your right to enjoy it. However, I would appreciate it if you exhibited more respect for the rights of those people who do not wish to share your dogma, rapture, or necrodestination. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Anybody who wants religion is welcome to it, as far as I'm concerned -- I support your right to enjoy it. However, I would appreciate it if you exhibited more respect for the rights of those people who do not wish to share your dogma, rapture, or necrodestination.


Quote: The bassoon is one of my favorite instruments. It has a medieval aroma, like the days when everything used to sound like that. Some people crave baseball...I find this unfathomable, but I can easily understand why a person could get excited about playing the bassoon. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of Frank Zappa quote; white text on black background

The bassoon is one of my favorite instruments. It has a medieval aroma, like the days when everything used to sound like that. Some people crave baseball...I find this unfathomable, but I can easily understand why a person could get excited about playing the bassoon.


Quote: I like to watch the news, because I don't like people very much and when you watch the news ... if you ever had an idea that people were really terrible, you could watch the news and know that you're right. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

I like to watch the news, because I don't like people very much and when you watch the news ... if you ever had an idea that people were really terrible, you could watch the news and know that you're right.


Quote: You can't be a real country unless you have a beer. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer.

Longer Version/[Notes]:

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline -- it helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but in the very least you need a beer.


Quote: Nobody looks good with brown lipstick on. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Nobody looks good with brown lipstick on.


Quote: There is no hell. There is only France. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

There is no hell. There is only France.




Quote: They's making it worse, the labor movement got the mafia curse. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

They's making it worse, the labor movement got the mafia curse.


Quote: Shut Up and Play your Guitar. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Shut Up and Play your Guitar.


Quote: If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.


Quote: Definition of rock journalism: People who can't write, doing interviews with people who can't think, in order to prepare articles for people who can't read. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Definition of rock journalism: People who can't write, doing interviews with people who can't think, in order to prepare articles for people who can't read.


Quote: Jazz isn't dead. It just smells funny. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Jazz isn't dead. It just smells funny.


Quote: My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.


Quote: Drop out of school before your mind rots from exposure to our mediocre educational system. Forget about the Senior Prom and go to the library and educate yourself if you've got any guts. Some of you like Pep rallies and plastic robots who tell you what to read. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Drop out of school before your mind rots from exposure to our mediocre educational system. Forget about the Senior Prom and go to the library and educate yourself if you've got any guts. Some of you like Pep rallies and plastic robots who tell you what to read.


Quote: Music, in performance, is a type of sculpture. The air in the performance is sculpted into something. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Music, in performance, is a type of sculpture. The air in the performance is sculpted into something.


Quote: Most people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Most people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass.


Quote: Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.


Quote: A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.


Quote: You can't always write a chord ugly enough to say what you want to say, so sometimes you have to rely on a giraffe filled with whipped cream. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

You can't always write a chord ugly enough to say what you want to say, so sometimes you have to rely on a giraffe filled with whipped cream.


Quote: If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.


Quote: All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff.

Longer Version/[Notes]:

All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff...Basically what people want to hear is: I love you, you love me, the leaves turn brown, they fell off the trees, the wind is blowing, it got cold, you went away, my heart broke, you came back, and my heart was okay...Modern music is people who can't think signing artists who can't write songs to make records for people who can't hear. Most people wouldn't know good music if it came up and bit them on the ass...If lyrics make people do things, how come we don't love each other?


Quote: There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.


Quote: The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.


Quote: Music is always a commentary on society. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Music is always a commentary on society.


Quote: There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we'd all love one another. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we'd all love one another.


Quote: It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice. There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice. There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia.

Longer Version/[Notes]:

It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice. There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia. Eventually within the next quarter of a century, the nostalgia cycles will be so close together that people will not be able to take a step without being nostalgic for the one they just took. At that point, everything stops. Death by Nostalgia.


Quote: Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.


Quote: Politics is the entertainment branch of industry. by author Frank Zappa overlaid on photo of photo of author Frank Zappa with quote

Politics is the entertainment branch of industry.


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