Inspirational quotes to feed your soul and brighten your day.

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286 Famous Funny Tongue-in-Cheek Quotes

  • Last updated Jun 28 2021

Classically funny quotes always bring a smile to one's day so we have assembled this list of the best classically funny tongue-in-cheek quotes to brighten your day. May they bring you some LOLs and maybe even a ROFL. (-: If you enjoy them, please share. Have a fabulously fun and funny day!

--Rita Rudner
--Fred Allen
--George Carlin
--Spanish Proverb
--Liz Winston
--Unknown Author
--Bridger Winegar
--Joan Rivers
--Hunter S. Thompson
--Oscar Wilde
--George Carlin
--Unknown Author
--Rush Limbaugh
--Nancy Astor
--Will Rogers
--Mark Twain
--Melanie Clark Pullen
--Carrie Fisher
--Katharine Hepburn
--Groucho Marx
--Charles de Gaulle
--Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.
--Voltaire
--Will Ferrell
--Adrienne Gusoff
--Charles M. Schulz
--John Wayne
--George Burns
--Groucho Marx
--Gloria Allred
--Phyllis Diller
--Pauline Thomason
--Warren Buffett
--Phyllis Diller
--Marcelene Cox
--Henry Cate VII
--W.C. Fields
--Edgar Bergen
--Bob Irwin
--Stephen Colbert
--Joan Rivers
--Jean de la Bruyere
--Albert Einstein
--Erma Bombeck
--Mark Twain
--Rita Rudner
--Mae West
--Steven Wright
--Dolly Parton
--Arnold Palmer
--Enid Blyton
--Rita Mae Brown
--Dave Barry
--Lana Turner
--Milton Berle
--Oscar Wilde
--John Barrymore
--Rodney Dangerfield
--George Carlin
--Alexander Woollcott
--George Bernard Shaw
--Josh Billings
--George Burns
--Elbert Hubbard
--Thomas Szasz
--Kurt Vonnegut
--Natalie Wood
--Caroline Rhea
--Erma Bombeck
--Nicolas Chamfort
--Oliver Hardy
--Naguib Mahfouz
--James Thurber
--Kaiser Wilhelm
--Charles Lamb
--Steven Weinberg
--Betty White
--Hillary Clinton
--Buddy Hackett
--Henry Kissinger
--Harry S. Truman
--Clarence Day
--Robert Frost
--Rodney Dangerfield
--Billy Connolly
--Woody Allen
--Lily Tomlin
--Woody Allen
--Pablo Picasso
--W.C. Fields
--Mae West
--Groucho Marx
--Jim Carrey
--Bob Hope
--Mark Twain
--Phyllis Diller
--Groucho Marx
--Steve Martin
--Rita Rudner
--George Carlin
--George Carlin
--George Carlin
--Laurence J. Peter
--Dave Barry
--Phyllis Diller
--Bruce Lanskiy
--Abraham Lincoln
--Tom Lehrer
--Emo Philips
--Robert Bloch
--Dorothy Parker
--James Thurber
--Sid Caesar
--Emo Philips
--Anton Chekhov
--Milton Berle
--Dale Carnegie
--Groucho Marx
--François de La Rochefoucauld (writer)
--Robin Williams
--Jim Carrey
--Alfred Hitchcock
--Chris Rock
--George Carlin
--Fred Allen
--Steve Martin
--Steve Martin
--Joan Rivers
--Winston Churchill
--Steven Wright
--Oscar Wilde
--Ricky Gervais
--Will Ferrell
--Groucho Marx
--Robin Williams
--Agatha Christie
--Woody Allen
--Bill Maher
--Punit Ghadge
--Lord Byron
--Tom Bodett
--Jean Shepherd
--Doug Larson
--Jim Rohn
--Mark Twain
--Ernest Hemingway
--Steven Wright
--Mark Twain

Longer Version:

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. As in the words of Wayne Dyer, when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Sometimes to know with certainty that a particular thing is "true", will actually be the very thing that keeps you from attaining the things you seek to achieve.


--Josh Billings
--Oscar Wilde
--Jackie Mason
--Woody Allen
--Steven Wright
--Oscar Wilde
--Demetri Martin
--Bertrand Russell
--Rob Corddry
--Scott Adams
--Jean Rostand
--George Carlin

Longer Version:

Has been misattributed to George Carlin but is not by him- his web site even confirmed such.


--Mike Myers
--Miles Kington
--Will Rogers
--Jack Benny
--George Bernard Shaw
--E.B. White
--Lily Tomlin
--Steve Martin
--Casey Stengel
--Laurence J. Peter
--Al McGuire
--Mitch Hedberg
--George Carlin
--W.C. Fields
--Johnny Carson
--Herbert Hoover
--David Lee Roth
--Margaret Mead
--Oscar Levant
--Martha Scott
--François de La Rochefoucauld (writer)
--Don Marquis
--Groucho Marx
--George Carlin
--Will Rogers
--David Letterman
--William Arthur Ward
--George Bernard Shaw
--Andy Rooney
--Groucho Marx
--Robert Benchley
--Dick Cavett
--George W. Bush
--Dalai Lama
--R.D. Laing
--Bill Watterson
--Winston Churchill
--Robin Williams
--Jim Harrison
--Sam Ewing
--Benny Hill
--Charlton Heston
--Solomon Schechter
--Isaac Asimov
--A.A. Milne
--Abraham Lincoln
--Karl Kraus

--Edward Abbey
--Albert Einstein
--Paul R. Ehrlich
--Erma Bombeck
--Jim Davis
--Rodney Dangerfield
--Alan Dundes
--Bill Maher
--Milton Berle
--Will Ferrell
--Steven Wright
--Redd Foxx
--Reinhard Bonnke
--Steven Wright
--Bertrand Russell
--Andy Borowitz
--Harlan Ellison
--Steve Martin
--George Carlin
--Jerry Seinfeld
--Groucho Marx
--Zach Galifianakis
--Will Rogers
--Mitch Hedberg
--Bill Murray
--Anthony Burgess
--Groucho Marx
--Mark Twain
--Rodney Dangerfield
--Cathy Guisewite
--Beth McCollister
--Criss Jami
--Mitch Hedberg
--Phyllis Diller
--Will Ferrell
--George Carlin
--Groucho Marx
--Gore Vidal
--George Carlin
--Zach Galifianakis
--Zach Galifianakis
--Terry Pratchett
--Rodney Dangerfield
--Mark Twain
--H. L. Mencken
--Norman Lindsay
--Robert Brault
--Si Robertson
--Jerry Seinfeld
--Patricia McCann
--Benjamin Franklin
--Jim Davis
--Charles de Gaulle
--Oscar Wilde
--Texas Guinan
--Oscar Ameringer
--Nearly Headless Nick
--Jim Davis
--Elbert Hubbard
--Robert Frost
--Unknown Author
--Grant Tucker
--Augustine of Hippo
--Jay Leno
--Kitty Collins
--Ask Ann Landers
--Gerald R. Ford
--Will Rogers
--Judith Viorst
--Judith Viorst
--Alanis Morissette
--R. A. Salvatore
--Alexander Woollcott
--Ogden Nash
--Robin Williams
--Steven Wright
--Alan Loy McGinnis
--Zsa Zsa Gabor
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