I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end.

I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me, they are the role model for being alive.

You feel completely in control when you hear a wave of laughter coming back at you that you have caused.

Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.

I love being a woman. You can cry. You get to wear pants now. If you're on a boat and it's going to sink, you get to go on the rescue boat first. You get to wear cute clothes. It must be a great thing, or so many men wouldn't be wanting to do it.

Having cancer gave me membership in an elite club I'd rather not belong to.

Comedy is very controlling -- you are making people laugh.

Fame changes a lot of things, but it can't change a lightbulb.

I'm not really an impersonator.

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end.

I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.

Adopted kids are such a pain -- you have to teach them how to look like you.

I can always be distracted by love, but eventually I get horny for my creativity.

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
Delicious Ambiguity.

There is no real security except for whatever you build inside yourself.

I grew up in front of a television. I guess I'll grow old inside of one.

Sportswriting is fascinating -- descriptions of the opponents and the details of an event in which someone is going to win and someone is going to lose. Life is much longer and more complicated, and the outcomes are less clear-cut.

I have always found men who were funny, irresistible. It's rare that I ever based love on looks or superficial things, but it a guy made me laugh-and that didn't mean he had to be in comedy professionally -- I was hooked.

It is so hard for us little human beings to accept this deal that we get. It's really crazy, isn't it? We get to live, then we have to die. ... What spirit human beings have! It is a pretty cheesy deal -- all the pleasures of life, and then death.

Motherhood is the biggest gamble in the world. It is the glorious life force. It's huge and scary--it's an act of infinite optimism.