Quotes by Groucho Marx (Page 2 of 2)

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.

Humor is reason gone mad.

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution -- this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.