Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.

The tenderest spot in a man's makeup is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.

A man never knows how to say goodbye. A woman never knows when to say it.

Many men kill themselves for love, but many more women die of it.

A good woman is known by what she does. A good man by what he doesn't.

There are people whose watch stops at a certain hour and who remain permanently at that age.

A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little personal characteristics.

A man's ideal woman is the one he couldn't get.

Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him.

Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts and his higher nature -- and another woman to help him forget them.

There is a vast difference between the savage and the civilized man, but it is never apparent to their wives until after breakfast.

A man marries one woman to escape from many others, and then chases many others to forget he's married to one.

Better a lively old epigram than a deadly new one.

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.

A good woman inspires a man; a brilliant woman interests him; a beautiful woman fascinates him; and a sympathetic woman gets him.

It is easier to keep half a dozen lovers guessing than to keep one lover after he has stopped guessing.

Marriage is the operation by which a woman's vanity and a man's egotism are extracted without an anaesthetic.

The dollar sign is the only sign in which the modern man appears to have any real faith.

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.