Quotes by Iyanla Vanzant

There are two emotions: love and fear.

Meditation can and will order your thinking and therefore your mind. As we heal the wounded places in our minds, we grow.

Nothing has a hold on your mind that you cannot break free of.

Don't attack your problems. Face them, confess them, understand what they are. That is the process.

No storm, not even the one in your life, can last forever. The storm is just passing over.

I was sitting on the bus, and the sign said if you're ready to better your life, come to Medgar Evers College, and I got off the bus and went to Medgar Evers College.

The show is 'Fix My Life!' Get it? Life. I do not fix people.

I don't think there's such a thing as a selfish prayer. Prayer puts you in communication so you can talk about whatever you want to talk about.

Sooner or later, we must all accept the fact that in a relationship, the only person you are dealing with is yourself.

The journey into self-love and self-acceptance must begin with self-examination until you take the journey of self-reflection, it is almost impossible to grow or learn in life.

Healing is the application of love.

Blaming is pointing out there, rather than in here, into your own mind, when you find yourself in a painful or uncomfortable experience. Blame means shifting the responsibility for where you are onto someone or something else, rather than accepting responsibility for your role in the experience.

If you don't have a vision you're going to be stuck in what you know.  And the only thing you know is what you've already seen.

Criticism does not make you smarter or better than the one you are criticizing. In fact, the stuff you are critical of in others is the same stuff you don't like about yourself.

Choice is a divine teacher, for when we choose we learn that nothing is ever put in our path without a reason.

Family is supposed to be our safe heaven. Very often, it's the place where we find the deepest heartache.

Some abuse is not physical. Abuse does not have to be physical. There's emotional abuse, psychological abuse and spiritual abuse.

I pray because I am real clear that what I am doing and how I am doing it is my service, is my ministry, and so I want to be in perfect alignment with my creator. I do not care who you are. If I do not get the okay on the inside, you will not be showing up on the outside.

When you are in alignment with the desires of your heart, things have a way of working out.

We think we have to do something to be grateful or something has to be done in order for us to be grateful, when gratitude is a state of being.

When was the last time you thanked you for always being there for you? Self appreciation soothes an aching soul.

Authenticity means that you must do what you do the way you do it and allow everyone else the same courtesy.

God is all that is. Everything. Everything. Breath, life. Just get Webster's Dictionary and throw it on the floor. It's everything... God is everything.

Fear wears so many clever disguises it is virtually impossible to always recognize it. Fear disguises itself as the need to be somewhere else, doing something else, not knowing how to do something or not needing to do something.

We are distracted from our greatness because are greatness is what scares us. Right where you are…God is.

Remain open. There is something bigger than you know going on here.

Everything happens when it needs to happen; everyone is always where they need to be. You will never miss out on what is meant for you, even if it has to come to you in a roundabout way.

I grew up in the Holiness Church, where prayer was an event.

A man can't be in the space where there is feminine rage and bitterness. He doesn't know how to navigate it.

The life you want is on the other side of the labor pains it takes to birth it.

You have set standards for how you want to be treated and what you expect from yourself and for yourself.

If you don't have a test, you won't be able to have a testimony.

To honor life, we must be willing to grow through what we don't know yet, and outgrow what we know no longer fits us. We must be willing to give in to the process, moment by moment, realizing a new plot may be unfolding.

Religion is the rules, regulations, ceremonies and rituals developed by man to create conformity and uniformity in the approach to God. Spirituality is God's call in your soul.

All relationships have the same basic components: people, needs, and expectations.

You are demonstrating to men that they can come back and get their kids. All of those fatherless sons and daddy-less daughters and the men who didn't know how to go back, you are demonstrating to the world that they can.

I now realize that just because you can take a punch does not mean you must stand in front of a fist, particularly not when the fist is your own.

Sometimes you have to lose everything in order to gain yourself.

Beloveds, you are fine, just the way you are! Perfect in your imperfection! You are divine! Growing brighter and more brilliant each day, you can accept the truth of who you are.

When anyone makes comments that are offensive to you, would you be willing to do the teaching?

Respect you love one enough to know thay can handle your truth.

You're making it about them. This has got about you, because you don't have peace.

Don't hold yourself back because you're afraid or because you've been hurt...acknowle dge your fear, accept it, and walk through it with confidence.

We must each learn to feel comfortable in our own uniqueness by rising above the fear of being wrong and the aversion to being different.

The best students get the hardest lessons.

Every choice you make supersedes and overrides every other choice you make.

Comparing yourself to others is an act of violence against your authentic self.

From where you sit, it may seem that certain people should know better. People are who they are and do what they do whether or not you like it or agree with them. We each have different lessons to learn. We each take a different path to our lessons.

The voice I had accepted as Divine Guidance was actually the voice of my ego leading me right into destruction.

Each of us was born to fulfill a divine purpose. As we open our hearts and minds to a new way of being, the purpose of our lives unfolds organically.

When do you feel most loved? Are you willing to be loved today? Self-love is the magnet that attracts deep and profound expressions of love from others.

Our minds work like a garden. It is fertile ground that accepts any and everything we plant. Good or evil, constructive or destructive, our lives will bear the fruit of the seeds we plant in our minds.

Lives fall apart when they need to be rebuilt.

It's important that we share our experiences with other people. Your story will heal you and your story will heal somebody else. When you tell your story, you free yourself and give other people permission to acknowledge their own story.

You are the only one who can do it like you do it. You are the best. You have what it takes. You have the power. When you put your mind to something, you get it done. So what are you waiting for?

People are hurting. People are suffering. But you can not get everywhere.

Be aware that who you are and what you have to offer can be a beacon to some lost soul.

This is probably one of the most difficult challenges any parent could face -- learning to love the other parent enough to make the children first.

At times I have long conversations with God. Sometimes I ask questions. I admit that there are also times when I let out my frustrations, fears, and anxieties in less than honorable ways. No matter what I pray about or how I pray about it, the result I always get is comfort.

I learned that telling the truth was a big part of loving yourself.

Spirituality is a journey inward that connects the Self to yourself. When you know who you are from the inside out, when you do what you sense is right for you, when your thoughts lead you to actions that serve others as well as make you feel good, then you have encountered spirituality.

Until you make peace with your difficult memories, that pain will continue to bleed into your current and future experiences.

I am not my sister's keeper. I am my sister.

No whining, no complaining about anyone. Everybody in your life has come to teach you lessons.

Sometimes on the journey, you step in dog poop. But you don't let the whole journey be about the fact that your shoe got poop on it.

Till your mental soil with determination. Fertilize your emotional soil with positive words. And plant the seed of your heart's desire with your disciplined efforts.

When we pray, it opens our minds to the divine consciousness of God. Prayer opens your mind to answers that have always been present.

Thinking is the problem. Thinking is hazardous to your progress in life. Don't think -- feel.

Everybody does not have to like you. That is not their job. Liking you is not anyone's purpose in life except yours.

One of the greatest challenges in creating a joyful, peaceful and abundant life is taking responsibility for what you do and how you do it. As long as you can blame someone else, be angry with someone else, point the finger at someone else, you are not taking responsibility for your life.

If you don't enjoy your life, sorrow, sadness, suffering, fear, shame and guilt will.

Today, I choose awareness. I choose to be aware of the beauty of life and living. I choose to be aware of the simple pleasures in life. I choose awareness of joy, awareness of peace, and awareness of love.

And perhaps you thought, Because I'm doing so much spiritual work, I'm only going to attract angels. No! The more spiritual work you do, the more darkness you attract. Because the light don't need more light. The darkness needs light! The light doesn't need more light.

In speaking the truth of your experience to another, it will serve you well to realize that how they choose to respond is not your responsibility.

Affirm: I now willingly release all negative beliefs about myself, my life and all other people. I now forgive myself for thinking I ever did anything wrong. I am now filled with the love and the Power that I am. For this I am so grateful! And so it is!

You have to meet people where they are, and sometimes you have to leave them there.

Each day, focus your attention on what you want. Each day, take one step that will bring you closer to it. ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! The key is to identify it, claim it for yourself, and believe that you are worthy to have it.

Life will let you get away with something for a while, but sooner or later, you will pay the price. Everything you do in life causes the effects that you experience. When you get the bill, be prepared to pay.

As we learn to see each other through our spiritual eyes, the physical differences will cease to matter.

The beloved is one who nurtures you, trusts you, supports you, encourages you, loves you without conditions. That's you.

When you continue to give without receiving, the only thing you are proving is that you know how to be taken advantage of.

There comes a point in time when you must know that everything you have already given or done is enough. This is not something anyone else can tell you. You must know. Giving without receiving doesn't prove anything except that you know how to be taken advantage of.

Love is durable. It's like Teflon. ...Trust is like fine china. Secrets destroy trust.

When your way doesn't work, don't be disheartened. You must be willing to try another way. A closed door doesn't mean you have been cut off permanently. It is a challenge, an obstacle, a tool to be used.

Instead of running from what you don't want, walk with commitment toward what you desire. Focus on where you are going rather than being obsessed with where you have been.

You cannot get to where you are going until you have learned all there is to learn about where you are.

There are going to be moments today you don't like me. You'll get over it.

You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people. But until you heal the wounds of your past, you are going to bleed.

No matter how painful your past has been, you have made it through.

It is not your duty or responsibility to change the minds of other people. The nature of their thinking is advanced or limited by their experience. In your presence, they have an opportunity to learn about you and, perhaps, to grow.

We have a tendency to always test people's love. 'I want to see how badly I have to behave before you'll leave me. Because I don't really think you want me anyhow.'

Life doesn't have to be hard, life is on your side.

Don't get hung up on the hard times, the challenges. Tell your story by highlighting the victories. Because it's your victories that will inspire, motivate, encourage other people to live their stories in grander ways.

Planning is the only way to keep yourself on track. Plan your moments to be joyous. Plan your days to be filled with peace. Plan your life to be an experience of growth. When you know where you are going, the universe will clear a path for you.

Why are you measuring? This is how you block, delay, hinder, obstruct and deny his place in the life as a father.

I am just an ordinary person committed to doing extraordinary things.

Most of us know exactly what it is that creates the pain, confusion, stagnation and disruption in our lives. When we find something or someone creating in our lives that which we do not want, we must muster the courage and strength to stop it.

You can't do anything as long as you are afraid of what might happen. Fear clouds opportunities, erases possibilities, and limits the ability to move beyond the place in which the mind is stuck. No matter how difficult we think the problem is, we must muster up the courage to face it.

Never underestimate the ruthlessness of the ego to keep you in a state of suffering in which you voluntarily participate.

Sometimes we pray in our heads and we never get a real opportunity to solidify what it is that we're praying for or what we're praying about. So once you write it down, it's like a flow. It comes out and you solidify the thought or the idea or the request.

Parents are teachers, guides, leaders, protectors and providers for their children.

One of the ways that people avoid taking responsibility for their role in their own pain is what I call the BPs -- blame and projection.

For most of my life, I believed that my father had broken many of my bones. They were emotional and psychological bones; things no one could see, things that caused me to limp through life clutching for and holding on to people and situations that often rendered me immobile.

Be patient when it seems things are not going right and may never be right again. Accept that what is yours will come to you in the right way at just the right moment.

There is a lot of healing going on. Really! More people are vegetarians, more are in the green movement, more of us are tearing down the old paradigms and embracing same-sex marriage, single motherhood, men raising babies.

In love, there is a total acceptance of self, and a willingness to give of self without an expectation of receiving anything in return. When you love, you are not afraid to share the truth of who you are, and you accept the truth of others without judgment.

Many of us have a need to be right. We then set out to make ourselves right by making someone else wrong. We must get right with ourselves. Once we do, we will have so much to do, we will not have time to keep track of who is wrong.

You must be willing to examine and explore your dark side. You must acknowledge how bad you can be and how horribly unloving you can behave. When you know how deep and dark your dark side is, it helps you stand a little taller in the light.

I think most people think that a spiritual path or growing spiritually means that all of a sudden you'll be able to forecast the six lotto numbers and all your bills will be paid.

The way you get more is by having a daily spiritual practice.

I encourage people to have a daily spiritual practice; that's the best way to take care of yourself. If you have that daily practice, it means you're getting divine guidance, and you're not being guided by your ego or your personality.

If you should encounter angry or unkind actions today, take a deep breath, reach deep within and greet the lack of love with love.

Right where you are is where you need to be. Don't fight it! Don't run away from it! Stand firm! Take a deep breath. And another. And another. Now, ask yourself: Why is this in my world? What do I need to see?

The goal of life is not to win. It is to play the game with love. The rules of the game are: have a strong desire to win, believe that you are worthy of winning, have faith that you will win, and, as long as you are alive, never believe that the game is over.

I'm moving into that eldership age, you know? I'm at the 'wise woman' age where it's not about learning, but utilizing the information that I have in a way that serves other people. That's
a high calling and it's a great responsibility.

Love is the voice of God whispering to you from within yourself.

In order to feel loved, be respected and stay connected, we humans have a tendency to lie. We lie about who we are, what we want, what we need, what we have done or will do. Perhaps 'lie' is too strong a word. Let me say that what we do is withhold the truth.

When you can look a thing dead in the eye, acknowledge that it exists, call it exactly what it is, and decide what role it will take in your life then, my Beloved, you have taken the first step toward your freedom.

It takes a lot more courage to let something go than it does to hang on to it, trying to make it better. Letting go doesn't mean ignoring a situation. Letting go means accepting what is, exactly as it is, without fear, resistance, or a struggle for control.

Spirituality is not about what you know. It is about growing, deepening, evolving and becoming a living reflection of your spiritual identity.

My grandma always said, Trouble is what God uses to prepare you for better things! If you have trouble in your life, you are in a valley. If you are in a valley, you are being prepared for something bigger, better, greater; something you probably could not handle now.

Embrace the truth. Speak the truth. Be the truth. When we welcome the truth, we live our lives like it's golden.

I surround people in unconditional acceptance and love to such a degree that everything that is unloving about them rises to the surface.

I try not to set myself up as different or as a celebrity or special. I have a husband that can get on my nerves. I have kids that test my patience. I've got a cat I can't keep off the sofa. It's real. On a bad day, I'm reading 'Acts of Faith.'.

The thing I always tell my audiences all the time is that I'm just two steps ahead of you on a good day. And I might be two steps behind you on a bad day.

Your willingness to look at your darkness is what empowers you to change.

For some reason,we keep forgetting some of our experience. We look back but don't bring the value forward. We bring the anger, the upset. We bring the fear.

No storm can last forever. It will never rain 365 days consecutively. Keep in mind that trouble comes to pass, not to stay. Don't worry! No storm, not even the one in your life, can last forever.

Prayer is asking for rain. Faith is carrying an umbrella. Faith is the inner sense of knowing that with divine order working on your side, all things will come together for your good. Faith is knowing that there is a divine plan and purpose for everything in life.

If you really want to live your life to the fullest and realize your greatest potential, you must be willing to run the risk of making some people mad. People may not like what you do, people may not like how you do it, but these people are not living your life. You are!

Release and detach from every person, every circumstance, every condition, and every situation that no longer serves a divine purpose in your life. All things have a season, and all seasons must come to an end. Choose a new season, filled with purposeful thoughts and activities.

Forgiveness is not about the other person or what they did. Forgiveness is for you and about you.

Gratitude is like a magnet; the more grateful you are, the more you will receive to be grateful for.

If someone has offended you, insulted you, or disappointed you, let it go! If you are remembering all the ways you have been hurt or forgotten, let it go! Ask yourself, what good does it do for me to hold on to this?

Change doesn't have to be hard, and healing doesn't have to hurt. Surely by now you know that every thing happens for a reason! There is something better awaiting you on the other side of this.

People have a right to change their minds and it has absolutely nothing to do with you. People change. As people change, their needs change. When people have a need, it is their responsibility to themselves to see their needs are met. And it has absolutely nothing to do with you.

Set an intention to heal any unexpressed anger that may be present in your life. Go to a quiet place with pen and paper. Take a few deep breaths. Ask your anger to speak to you. Write down the thoughts and feelings. When you are finished, forgive yourself for holding on to the anger for so long.

Until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed.

We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem.

Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth.

Before you find out who you are, you have to figure out who you aren't.

Your divine mate already exists. When you get to the place in yourself that is peaceful divine love, your true mate will be revealed.

Tell the truth about what you are feeling. Tell the truth about what you are thinking. Tell the truth about what you are doing and why.

Nothing is ever as it seems. What looks bad today, can be a blessing tomorrow.

Stop doing. Start being. It begins with a single thought and a simple statement -- I AM.

You don't always have to have something to do. Don't rush. Conserve some of your resources for yourself.

You must be disciplined in thought, word, and deed. Consciously train yourself to do those things that are good for you.

You are powerful. You are unlimited. The genes of the One who created the universe are at the core of your being.

Accept and acknowledge your own brilliance. Stop waiting for others to tell you how great you are! Believe it for yourself.

You cannot fix your children and you cannot plan their lives. You can guide, support, nurture and love them in the best way you can.

Encourage yourself, support yourself, and celebrate every little thing about yourself.

You have moments, days, sometimes weeks when you will doubt yourself. Just know, it is all part of the spiritual process.

It's all there. Everything you need to know. Why you are here, and what you are here to do. It's all right there in your heart.

Use your time, energy and talents to do the best you can right now. Spend no time wishing it were better.

Just for today, be a little child. Know the world is safe. Know that you are loved.

Be aware of how you handle your mind. Be aware of how you treat yourself.

Send yourself a love letter and then take the time to read it to yourself. Express your heartfelt love to yourself.

It is absolutely necessary to flood your mind with positive thoughts about yourself.

We must learn to let things flow just like breath, and life will do the rest.

We really don't know how to love each other because we haven't really learned to love ourselves. In many instances, not all, it's not malicious. We've just been conditioned to such bad behavior.

I'm the person that I always was, but in terms of how I approach my living, I'm not the same person at all. At all. I've buried a child, I've ended a marriage, and the grandson that I was raising is now grown. My family has totally shifted.

You've got to know what your 'thing' is, and you've got to call it a 'thing,' whether it's meanness, nastiness, un-forgiveness, arrogance, ego, resistance, rebelliousness or defiance. Everybody's got a 'thing,' and once you call your 'thing' a 'thing,' we can give it a place to be or dismiss it.

Gossip is when you have a malice of intent or mindless, third-party conversation to someone about someone, something you haven't said to that someone.

You know, if you're a human and living on the planet, it doesn't matter what you do; you are not immune to the challenges, the trials, the difficulty. And that fact that I happen to be a coach and a minister and a spiritual teacher doesn't mean anything. I'm still human.

In 2002, my daughter was diagnosed with a rare form of colon cancer. And it was such a shock, a surprise to us.

I really don't have any weaknesses. I do have areas of my life that I am working on to grow, heal and evolve. Giving myself permission to rest is an area I am working on. Not rescuing my children and grandchildren is another area.

After being on 'Oprah' for a couple of months, I got my first royalty check for $1,478,392.17. I will never forget it. At the height of my career, I made $3.3 million. Unbelievable. From welfare in the projects to $3.3 million.

I had no preconceived idea what fame would be like, because I never thought I would be famous. I just wanted to do my work. Hell, I just wanted to pay my rent on time.

I have a daily message, 'Stimumail,' which I use to stimulate the mind and heart. I have the opportunity to touch over 60,000 people I have never met. I also use Twitter and Facebook.

I hope that my story, I hope that my life is... an encouragement for people, especially in Brooklyn. I feel humbled and blessed.

All things are lessons that God would have us learn.

The remedy for life's broken pieces is not classes, workshops or books. Don't try to heal the broken pieces. Just forgive.

When you gossip, it's self-hexing. Because when you do it, it comes back to you. Everything starts with the word. The word is demonstrating a condition of the mind. If it's in your mind and comes out of your mouth, it will be created.