Be awfully nice to them going up, because you're gonna meet them all coming down.

Me and my big mouth! I'd get rid of it, only it's such a handy place to keep my teeth.

At four o'clock in the morning most people have been asleep for hours, but at four o'clock in the morning the night-club children of a few years ago were just getting hot. The band jazzed at full blast. The air was so thick you could pick it up in handfulls and through it around like snowballs. The dance-floors were crowded with couples who couldn't do anything but wiggle hips and feet.

My nose isn't big. I just happen to have a very small head.

Start off each day with a song.

I was hurt so deep that I made up my mind never to hurt anybody else, no matter what. I never made jokes about anybody's big ears, their stut-terin', or about them bein' off their nut.

Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, What more is there to say than goodnight? We've had a lot of fun and it's time to toodle-oo. Au revoir, auf wiendersehn and Inka, dinks doo. Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight.

Man is the only animal that can be skinned more than once.

I hate music, especially when it's played.

Be kind to people on the way up -- you'll meet them again on your way down.

All of us have schnozzles... if not in our faces, then in our character, minds or habits. When we admit our schnozzles, instead of defending them, we begin to laugh, and the world laughs with us.

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is.

Make someone happy,

Make just one someone happy,

And you will be happy, too.

Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.

Everybody wants to get into the act!

If I'd known how old I was going to be I'd have taken better care of myself.

Be a awful nice to 'em goin' up, because you're gonna meet 'em all comin' down.

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

Why can't everybody leave everybody else the hell alone.

What did Napolean do for relaxation? He read a book. What did Lincoln do for relaxation? He read a book. What does Congress do for relaxation? They book a red.