Quotes by Joe Rogan
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Wikipedia Summary for Joe Rogan
Joseph James Rogan (born August 11, 1967) is an American podcast host, UFC color commentator, comedian, and former television presenter.
Rogan began his career in comedy in August 1988 in the Boston area. After relocating to Los Angeles in 1994, he signed an exclusive developmental deal with Disney, and appeared as an actor on several television shows including Hardball and NewsRadio. In 1997, he started working for the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) as an interviewer and color commentator.
Rogan released his first comedy special, I'm Gonna Be Dead Someday ..., in 2000. From 2001 to 2006, he was the host of the game show Fear Factor. In 2009, Rogan launched his podcast The Joe Rogan Experience, which led him to increased success and podcast superstardom.
If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the universe.
There are only two reasons to hate gay marriage. Either you're dumb, or you're secretly worried that dicks are delicious.
The number one reason why marijuana is illegal is because the Pharma Cartel does not want you to grow your own medicine.
The number one reason why marijuana is illegal is because the Pharma Cartel does not want you to grow your own medicine. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper. The first car ever made ran on hemp oil. Hemp seeds are also the healthiest food on the planet with the highest protein content out of any plant.
People say you can abuse marijuana. Well shit, you can abuse cheeseburgers too, you know? You don't go around closing Burger King because you can abuse something.
There's only 2 reasons that you hate gay marriage;
1. You're dumb, or 2. You're secretly worried that dicks are delicious.
When I started out I was definitely more traditional. It was 1988. Everyone was doing the Jerry Seinfeld.
I'm a nightclub comic. That's what I do. I work in the clubs uncensored because my mind is uncensored, and those are the thoughts that I have. I do the kind of comedy that I would enjoy seeing.
Greatness and madness are next door neighbours; and they borrow each other's sugar. You don't get there without the other.
Having the privilege of sitting down and having 3 hour long uninterrupted conversations with hundreds of brilliant people is an awesome perspective enhancer.
There's a classic story I tell about when I did the Man Show about the retarded conversations that you have with the executive producers and the network.
Imagine being a poor person and you find out that the Queen who literally does nothing is making 100 million dollars in a year.
One of the things that happened is I did a lot of shitty gigs. When you do a bunch of shitty bar gigs you have to get used to people yelling at you, you're used to thinking on the fly, to dealing with weird situations.
I always try to look at conflicts from as many different angles as is humanly possible, and in a lot of ways there is no one answer.
I think stand is better now than it's ever been. I think it's the greatest time ever to do standup comedy.
I'm really happy that I've been able to make people laugh and distract them from their day to day bullshit at a comedy show or because they enjoyed one of my CDs or TV specials, but I don't know how many people have actually had life changing thoughts because of it.
You do what you're supposed to do, but you have to be honest about what they're doing. When you do a comedy show on a network the problem is there are going to be a bunch of people who aren't comedians that are going to tell you what's funny.
If I could make the same amount of money doing standup it would be no contest. The problem is that if you do make that kind of money doing standup, it's not in clubs, it's in big auditoriums and large venues, and I really think something is lost when you do standup for a big crowd.
I don't like people that make their living talking about bullshit, and you see them in many shows that are made on the same subject. When you go looking at UFOs or bigfoot or what-have-you, there's just nothing there.
Not all comedy clubs or situations are ideal, especially when you're first coming up and I think that's good for you. Eventually you get to express your real personality.
I think there is more comedians now than ever, more venues now than ever. There are stand-ups who live in towns where they don't have many comedy clubs where they are organizing more comedy nights in bars. I just think this is a fantastic time for stand up.
Like bees creating a beehive or ants creating an anthill we're all moving along creating something and we're not sure what it is.
Like if you all were going to go out and one guy's like you know what man I'm going to stay home I'm feeling kind of shitty, you go, You faggot. That's what it means. It's about a guy wimping out, being a douchebag...it has nothing to do with your sexual orientation.
Comedy shows in D.C. are so much fun. I think because of the intense area that is connected to politics that people need, they need their down time. D.C. audiences are almost universally praised by comedians.
Build confidence and momentum with each good decision you make from here on out and choose to be inspired.
Haters...are all failures. It's 100% across the board. No one who is truly brilliant at anything is a hater.
The people who could most benefit from the self-reflective ego-dissolving qualities of cannabis are the ones that want it to be illegal.
The mind is the most important thing of the big picture and no one has a stronger mindset than amateur wrestlers.
Once you understand what excellence is all about... you see how that excellence manifests itself in any discipline.
I wouldn't totally rule out doing Letterman or the Tonight Show if I had a set that I just happened to write that I thought was funny but was still appropriate for network censors. But I'm
not going to go out of my way.
I realized a long time ago that instead of being jealous you can be inspired and appreciative. It carries more energy to you.
I realized a long time ago that instead of being jealous you can be inspired and appreciative. It carries more energy to you... That can be an awesome motivating force that can improve your life if you choose to be inspired and not jealous. One (being jealous) has no benefit whatsoever, the other is an incredible resource for creating momentum and improvement.
Prison is for rapists, thieves, and murderers. If you lock someone up for smoking a plant that makes them happy, then you're the fucking criminal.
If you attach your mind to any ideology, you're going to be on a road, and that road may or may not lead you in a good direction. But you're gonna stay on that road because you are attached to an ideology. It could be a terrible road, but you stick with it regardless of rational thinking.
The sensory deprivation chamber has been the most important tool that I've ever used for developing my mind.
Most of my bits are long stream-of-consciousness- type things, and when I'm doing them onstage, other places to take the theme or idea will hit me, and I just go with it.
It's impossible to measure the type of mental strength and determination that's required to be an elite wrestler.
So many times I've done a CD, and then the week after I record it, I've got this new tagline that's killer. And it makes the whole bit better. It happens all the time. But that's just the process of comedy.
I thought eventually I'd have a family and I really didn't want to be a loser like that guy in his 40s still shopping his band's shitty demo tapes around.
Teaching someone that doesn't know something forces you to think about almost every single aspect of it, including parts of it that you could sort of take for granted.
Peter Joseph is asking the questions and proposing the possible solutions that we should be demanding from the elected leaders of this crazy world.
His brilliant analysis of this ridiculous system we're operating under is one of the most important voices for change in this generation.
It's been one of the most important tools for me in personal growth for understanding myself, how I am, and what effect I do have on other people.
So instead of investing your time in a passion, you've sold your life to work for an uncaring machine that doesn't understand you. That's the problem with our society. And what's the reward? Go home and get a big TV.
I read the things that scientists have figured out, and apply what they say is beneficial, but at the end of the day I'm the wrong person to get unchallenged nutritional advice from.
This country has a mental health problem disguised as a gun problem, and a tyranny problem disguised as a security problem.
There's a confidence and a mental toughness that comes from the very highest level of competition, whatever the sport is. Whether it's boxing or wrestling, or whatever.
I prefer older people to college kids as audience for the most part. I want people with life experience, people that understand where I'm coming from.
Sometimes faggot is the right word. There's a trend in this country to avoid words: We can't say that one anymore it's offensive.
When you're standing around for an hour doing stand up it's no big deal but when you're standing around watching a show for an hour -- it's a big difference. It's annoying -- your feet hurt, your back hurts -- it's just not the most comfortable way to see stand-up comedy.
The people I know that have the hardest time keeping it together emotionally are people that don't workout.
I did a lot of crazy gigs man. I hosted a Jack and Jill strip club in Woonsocket Rhode Island which is this tiny depressing fishing town, all Portuguese immigrants and it's just a humorless, dark town.
One of the great things about Houston is that they police themselves. It's the way Boston was in the '80s. No hacks or thieves are tolerated in the community, and that's HUGE.
If I could, I would live in Houston, and I would encourage any comic starting out looking for a good place to develop to move there.
Houston people are way cool. They're smart, they know how to have a good time, and they have the hottest chicks on the planet there.
Apartment living is tough action. Just the whole idea that you share a washer and dryer always freaked me out.
Have you ever talked to someone, and you're not even really talking to them? Actors are the worst for that.
I really never had any ambitions to be a standup comic. I was talked into it by guys that I used to work out with.
Being a celebrity or anything else where you're really ambitious, it's really a game to see how successful you can get.
It's painful for me to watch someone who isn't funny. It's horrifying to sit in the back and watch some guy who just totally sucks.
I see martial arts as moving forms of meditation. When you're sparring or drilling techniques, you can't think of anything else.
When you snatch little pieces of other people's lives and try to palm them off as your own, that's more disgusting than anything. Robin Williams is a huge thief. Denis Leary is a huge thief. His whole stand-up career is based on Bill Hicks, a brilliant guy who died years ago.
I had seen movies before that that had made me laugh, but I had never seen anything even remotely close to as funny as Richard Pryor was, just standing there talking.
That's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard.
Reality really is theater. There's no other way to describe it. It's all so nonsensical, ridiculous and chaotic.
The planet's spinning a thousand miles an hour around this gigantic nuclear explosion while these people roll these machines with rubber tires over this hard surface that we've laid down over the planet so that we can easily move ourselves back and forth.
Faith itself is a horrible mechanism that stunts the growth of ideas. It also stunts the act of questioning, and it does this by pushing the idea that you have to have faith -- and that nothing has to be proven.
The only time I commit to conspiracy theories is when something way retarded happens. Like Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone.
The audience changes every night. You're the same person. You have to speak your mind and do the stuff that you think is funny and makes you laugh.
When someone comes along and expresses him or herself as freely as they think, people flock to it. They enjoy it.
Stand-up is still my favorite, but the podcast is a close second. It's so fun, and it's given me the opportunity to have three-hour conversations with people I wouldn't have otherwise been able to talk to. When I talked to Maynard Keenan from Tool, I almost couldn't believe it was happening.
The comics I hate are thieves. Nothing's more disgusting than a guy who steals another person's ideas and tries to claim them as his own.
Because I have a girlfriend, I try and take the straight and narrow path, which is good because it prevents VD.
Phil Hartman was brilliant, and Dave Foley is a really funny guy. Phil Hartman was actually even funnier offstage than he was onstage because he would say nasty things. Dave Foley's very funny, very witty guy, very quick.
To me, comedy is a great occupation because I don't really worry that much about what other people think of me.
The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time.
The Comedy Store in LA, it's a really loose room and it's really dark and creepy and a great place to explore your own thoughts onstage.
Richard Pryor is, in my mind, the most honest comedian. He bared his soul to people. I think that's why everybody loved him so much.
My act is so completely and totally uncensored that the only way I could really pull it off is if I treat the audience like they're my best friends.
It never hurt Lenny Bruce's career to get arrested for swearing. It did back in the time, but he broke those doors down by doing the stuff that he believed in.
I'm a huge Groucho fan. There were some great comic minds that would transfer into any generation, and Groucho is certainly one of them.
I had a great time on News Radio, I got to make tons of money in relative obscurity and learn a lot about the TV biz and work on my standup act constantly. It was a dream gig.
Dick Gregory was a great comedian who went and got arrested, did hunger strikes, protests. It never hurt his career to be outspoken.
Comedy is really not like any other art form in that it's very specialized and varied in it's content, but generic in it's title.
After this whole acting thing is over and done, you eventually have to be human. Some people are never human. It's very weird.
Although not considered a martial art, boxing is really a martial art. It's a very limited martial art as long as you agree to just box... but in an actual physical fight against someone who's just a wrestler, you're going to get killed.
I've done jiujitsu a huge chunk of my life, and I try to spend a lot of time educating people on the nuances, the subtleness of the ground game. It's a big part of mixed martial arts.
Any comic like myself owes everything he has to Lenny Bruce. He was the originator. The godfather of uncensored American stand-up is clearly Lenny Bruce.
I don't care if you're gay, black, Chinese, straight. That means nothing to me. It's all an illusion.
The two things I understand best are stand-up comedy and martial arts. And those things require an ultimate grasp of the truth. You have to be objective about your skills and abilities to compete in both.
What's interesting about science is that we're constantly discovering new things about the universe, about ourselves, about our bodies, about diseases, about the possibilities of the future. It's amazing. Science is one of the coolest things about being a human being -- without a doubt.
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