Quotes by Lemony Snicket

Welcome to our collection of quotes by Lemony Snicket. We hope you enjoy pondering them and please share widely.

Wikipedia Summary for Lemony Snicket

Lemony Snicket is the pen name of American novelist Daniel Handler (born February 28, 1970). Handler has published several children's books under the name, most notably A Series of Unfortunate Events, which has sold over 60 million copies and spawned a 2004 film and TV series from 2017 to 2019. Lemony Snicket also serves as the fictional narrator of and a character in A Series of Unfortunate Events as well as the main character in its prequel, a four-part book series titled All the Wrong Questions. Snicket is also featured as a minor character in Cheshire Crossing by Andy Weir.

In A Series of Unfortunate Events, Snicket serves as both the narrator and a character. He investigates and retells the story of the Baudelaire orphans. The series All the Wrong Questions is written as a mock-autobiography, and follows Snicket through his childhood and apprenticeship to the V.F.D.

Snicket is also the subject of a fictional autobiography titled Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography and a pamphlet called 13 Shocking Secrets You'll Wish You Never Knew About Lemony Snicket (released in promotion of The End). Other works by Snicket include The Baby in the Manger, The Composer Is Dead, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid, The Latke Who Couldn't Stop Screaming, The Lump of Coal, and 13 Words.

In the film, Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, Lemony Snicket is portrayed by Jude Law, who documents the events of the film on a typewriter from inside a clock tower. In the video game based on the film, his voice is provided by Tim Curry. In the Series of Unfortunate Events Netflix series, Snicket is interpreted as a Rod Serling-esque omniscient narrator chronicling the events of the Baudelaire children; he is portrayed by Patrick Warburton.

Quote: You can see that it is better not to make too many assumptions, particularly in the morning. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of silhouette photography of trees and sky
Photo Credit: Aperture Vintage

You can see that it is better not to make too many assumptions, particularly in the morning.


Quote: Making assumptions simply means believing things are a certain way with little or no evidence that shows you are correct, and you can see at once how this can lead to terrible trouble. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of Lemony Snicket quote; white text on black background

Making assumptions simply means believing things are a certain way with little or no evidence that shows you are correct, and you can see at once how this can lead to terrible trouble.


Quote: Oftentimes, when people are miserable, they will want to make other people miserable, too. But it never helps. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of red flowers with water droplets
Photo Credit: Leonardo Corral

Oftentimes, when people are miserable, they will want to make other people miserable, too. But it never helps.


Quote: Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby: awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of black and white butterfly in close up photography
Photo Credit: Erik Mclean

Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby: awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.


Quote: The sky was dark blue twilight, pretty to look at but lonely to walk under. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of lighted candle
Photo Credit: Marc Ignacio

The sky was dark blue twilight, pretty to look at but lonely to walk under.


Quote: You know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of silhouette of two person standing near seashore
Photo Credit: Tim Mossholder

You know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.


Quote: Complimenting someone in an exaggerated way is known as flattery, and flattery will generally get you anything you want. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of aerial photography of mountain range covered with snow under white and blue sky at daytime
Photo Credit: Rohit Tandon

Complimenting someone in an exaggerated way is known as flattery, and flattery will generally get you anything you want.


Quote: But I must admit I miss you quite terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of low-angle photo of white daisy
Photo Credit: Aaron Burden

But I must admit I miss you quite terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.


Quote: There is a pair of snakes who have learned to drive a car so recklessly that they would run you over in the street and never stop to apologize. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of 2 people riding on boat during sunset
Photo Credit: Aman Upadhyay

There is a pair of snakes who have learned to drive a car so recklessly that they would run you over in the street and never stop to apologize.


Quote: Perhaps I should just bury myself and become a diamond after thousands of years of intense pressure. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of brown rugby ball
Photo Credit: Dave Adamson

Perhaps I should just bury myself and become a diamond after thousands of years of intense pressure.


Quote: After you leave home, you may find yourself feeling homesick, even if you have a new home that has nicer wallpaper and a more efficient dishwasher than the home in which you grew up. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of Lemony Snicket quote; white text on black background

After you leave home, you may find yourself feeling homesick, even if you have a new home that has nicer wallpaper and a more efficient dishwasher than the home in which you grew up.


Quote: The world is very quiet without you around. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of man in gray sweater carrying woman in black jacket
Photo Credit: adrianna geo

The world is very quiet without you around.


Quote: If you have ever lost someone very important to you, then you already know how it feels, and if you haven't, you cannot possibly imagine it. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of Vincent Van Gogh self portrait painting on wall
Photo Credit: Alina Grubnyak

If you have ever lost someone very important to you, then you already know how it feels, and if you haven't, you cannot possibly imagine it.


Quote: Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant, filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of gray building
Photo Credit: Mitchell Luo

Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant, filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.




Quote: It's a good plan, Mr. Snicket.

Oh sure, I said, like juggling dynamite, or kicking a polar bear. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of Close-up of a white line on green grass in a soccer field
Photo Credit: Sandro Schuh

It's a good plan, Mr. Snicket.

Oh sure, I said, like juggling dynamite, or kicking a polar bear.


Quote: Nothing firms up a friendship like a good-natured argument. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of man with LED headlight looking upward
Photo Credit: Josh Gordon

Nothing firms up a friendship like a good-natured argument.


Quote: Like many people who dress in black, the lump of coal was interested in becoming an artist. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of landscape photo of mountain during nighttime
Photo Credit: Alexandr Podvalny

Like many people who dress in black, the lump of coal was interested in becoming an artist.


Quote: Appearance matters a great deal because you can often tell a lot about people by looking at how they present themselves. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of orange tabby kittens
Photo Credit: Jonathan Wiemers

Appearance matters a great deal because you can often tell a lot about people by looking at how they present themselves.


Quote: Some people think destiny is something you cannot escape, such as death or a curdled cheesecake, both of which always turn up sooner or later. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of golden retriever puppy lying on white textile
Photo Credit: Taylor Sondgeroth

Some people think destiny is something you cannot escape, such as death or a curdled cheesecake, both of which always turn up sooner or later.


Quote: Some of the bravest and most resourceful people in the world have come to bad ends. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of white brick wall
Photo Credit: Joe Woods

Some of the bravest and most resourceful people in the world have come to bad ends.


Quote: Arguing with somebody is never pleasant, but sometimes it is useful and necessary to do so. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of silhouette of person jumping in mid air
Photo Credit: Aziz Acharki

Arguing with somebody is never pleasant, but sometimes it is useful and necessary to do so.


Quote: In an emergency, one often learns that one's companions can be of even less help in extraordinary circumstances than they are during an average evening. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of empty seashore near high-rise building
Photo Credit: frank mckenna

In an emergency, one often learns that one's companions can be of even less help in extraordinary circumstances than they are during an average evening.


Quote: The end of THE END is the best place to begin THE END, because if you read THE END from the beginning of the beginning of THE END to the end of the end of THE END, you will arrive at the end. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of Lemony Snicket quote; white text on black background

The end of THE END is the best place to begin THE END, because if you read THE END from the beginning of the beginning of THE END to the end of the end of THE END, you will arrive at the end.


Quote: Waiting is one of life's hardships. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of orange tabby kitten in grasses
Photo Credit: Andriyko Podilnyk

Waiting is one of life's hardships.


Quote: Telling an adult to go see something for themselves always works. They never take your word for it. They always, always, have to go see, and Hungry was no different. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of Lemony Snicket quote; white text on black background

Telling an adult to go see something for themselves always works. They never take your word for it. They always, always, have to go see, and Hungry was no different.


Quote: Grammar is the greatest joy in life, don't you find? by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of closeup photography of black and brown bird
Photo Credit: Boris Smokrovic

Grammar is the greatest joy in life, don't you find?


Quote: Hungry licked her spoon and then pointed it at me. 'Aren't you forgetting the dishes?' she asked.

'Absolutely not,' I said. 'I'll remember the dishes as long as I live. See you later, Hungry. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of Lemony Snicket quote; white text on black background

Hungry licked her spoon and then pointed it at me. 'Aren't you forgetting the dishes?' she asked.

'Absolutely not,' I said. 'I'll remember the dishes as long as I live. See you later, Hungry.


Quote: I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. It is good to brush your teeth when you are angry, because you brush harder and do a better job. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of woman holding her hair near on trees
Photo Credit: Matheus Ferrero

I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. It is good to brush your teeth when you are angry, because you brush harder and do a better job.


Quote: People don't always get what they deserve in this world. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of man hugging woman
Photo Credit: Kate Kalvach

People don't always get what they deserve in this world.


Quote: The book did not say anything about a statue, valuable or otherwise, and so I stopped reading about the Bombinating Beast and got interested in the chapter about the Stain'd witches, who had ink instead of blood in their veins. I wondered what they kept in their pens. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of Lemony Snicket quote; white text on black background

The book did not say anything about a statue, valuable or otherwise, and so I stopped reading about the Bombinating Beast and got interested in the chapter about the Stain'd witches, who had ink instead of blood in their veins. I wondered what they kept in their pens.


Quote: Even though there are no ways of knowing for sure, there are ways of knowing for pretty sure. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of two women making peace sign near the Golden Gate bridge
Photo Credit: Ian Schneider

Even though there are no ways of knowing for sure, there are ways of knowing for pretty sure.


Quote: Theodora glared at me, but Mrs. Murphy Sallis gave me a brief smile and offered me her hand, which was as smooth and soft as old lettuce. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of adult black puppy in yellow raincoat
Photo Credit: Charles Deluvio

Theodora glared at me, but Mrs. Murphy Sallis gave me a brief smile and offered me her hand, which was as smooth and soft as old lettuce.


Quote: You don't spend your life hanging around books without learning a thing or two. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of black wooden louver door window
Photo Credit: Inés Castellano

You don't spend your life hanging around books without learning a thing or two.


Quote: It doesn't matter if you never see someone again, I told myself. There are millions of people in the world, and most of them never see each other in the first place. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of Lemony Snicket quote; white text on black background

It doesn't matter if you never see someone again, I told myself. There are millions of people in the world, and most of them never see each other in the first place.


Quote: I will love you as a thief loves a gallery and as a crow loves a murder, as a cloud loves bats and as a range loves braes. I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of Lemony Snicket quote; white text on black background

I will love you as a thief loves a gallery and as a crow loves a murder, as a cloud loves bats and as a range loves braes. I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong.


Quote: Sooner or later, everyone's story has an unfortunate event or two -- a schism or a death, a fire or a mutiny, the loss of a home or the destruction of a tea set. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of Lemony Snicket quote; white text on black background

Sooner or later, everyone's story has an unfortunate event or two -- a schism or a death, a fire or a mutiny, the loss of a home or the destruction of a tea set.


Quote: It is not always the job of people shouting outside impressive buildings to solve problems. It is often the job of the people inside, who have paper, pens, desks, and an impressive view. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of Lemony Snicket quote; white text on black background

It is not always the job of people shouting outside impressive buildings to solve problems. It is often the job of the people inside, who have paper, pens, desks, and an impressive view.


Being noble enough is all we can ask for in this world.


Quote: I refuse to argue with you, Charles! You're my partner! Your job is to iron my shirts and cook my omelettes, not boss me around! by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of silhouette of stones during golden hour
Photo Credit: KAL VISUALS

I refuse to argue with you, Charles! You're my partner! Your job is to iron my shirts and cook my omelettes, not boss me around!




Quote: Nobody can teach you how to like something. You can like it, or you can pretend to like it, in order to make someone happy. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of white flowers
Photo Credit: Veri Ivanova

Nobody can teach you how to like something. You can like it, or you can pretend to like it, in order to make someone happy.


Quote: There are people like this wherever you go. They are part of the same mystery as you are, but you can't quite tell how you fit together. The world is a puzzle, and we cannot solve it alone. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of Lemony Snicket quote; white text on black background

There are people like this wherever you go. They are part of the same mystery as you are, but you can't quite tell how you fit together. The world is a puzzle, and we cannot solve it alone.


Quote: You would do well to be less particular. With a library it is easier to hope for serendipity than to look for a precise answer. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of four person hands wrap around shoulders while looking at sunset
Photo Credit: Helena Lopes

You would do well to be less particular. With a library it is easier to hope for serendipity than to look for a precise answer.


Quote: I'm not a stranger, I said, and pointed to his book. I'm someone who reads the same authors you do. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of mountains covered with fog
Photo Credit: asoggetti

I'm not a stranger, I said, and pointed to his book. I'm someone who reads the same authors you do.




Quote: There is no easy way to train an apprentice. My two tools are example and nagging. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of silver bell alarm clock
Photo Credit: Icons8 Team

There is no easy way to train an apprentice. My two tools are example and nagging.


Quote: Don't you see?' he asked. 'I'm not just the island's facilitator. I'm the island's parent. I keep this library far away from the people under my care, so that they will never be disturbed by the world's terrible secrets. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of Lemony Snicket quote; white text on black background

Don't you see?' he asked. 'I'm not just the island's facilitator. I'm the island's parent. I keep this library far away from the people under my care, so that they will never be disturbed by the world's terrible secrets.


Quote: Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of yellow bee beside purple petaled flower during daytime
Photo Credit: Jess Bailey

Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course.


Quote: Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course. Piracy, for example, is a tradition that has been carried on for hundreds of years, but that doesn't mean we should all attack ships and steal their gold. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of Lemony Snicket quote; white text on black background

Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course. Piracy, for example, is a tradition that has been carried on for hundreds of years, but that doesn't mean we should all attack ships and steal their gold.


Quote: It is so rare in this world to meet a trustworthy person who truly wants to help you, and finding such a person can make you feel warm and safe. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of landscape photography of mountain hit by sun rays
Photo Credit: David Marcu

It is so rare in this world to meet a trustworthy person who truly wants to help you, and finding such a person can make you feel warm and safe.


Quote: Sunny held Kit, and Violet held Klaus, and for a minute the four castaways did nothing but weep, letting their tears run down their faces and into the sea, which some have said is nothing but a library of all tears in history. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of Lemony Snicket quote; white text on black background

Sunny held Kit, and Violet held Klaus, and for a minute the four castaways did nothing but weep, letting their tears run down their faces and into the sea, which some have said is nothing but a library of all tears in history.


Quote: But like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of two silver tabby kittens
Photo Credit: Amy Baugess

But like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.


Quote: She was stronger than Stew Mitchum, or maybe she just wanted something more than he did. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of green sports court illustration
Photo Credit: Timothy Tan

She was stronger than Stew Mitchum, or maybe she just wanted something more than he did.


Quote: I don't know why wicked places generally look wicked. You'd think they'd look nice, to fool people, but they hardly ever do. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of brown squirrel on tree log
Photo Credit: Sebastian Latorre

I don't know why wicked places generally look wicked. You'd think they'd look nice, to fool people, but they hardly ever do.


Quote: It is very difficult to make one's way in this world without being wicked at one time or another, when the world's way is so wicked to being with. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of snow covered mountain during daytime
Photo Credit: Jason Abdilla

It is very difficult to make one's way in this world without being wicked at one time or another, when the world's way is so wicked to being with.


Quote: He couldn't help but think that nearly anything could be used as a weapon, if one was in a weaponry mood. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of closeup photo of bird beside purple petal flowers
Photo Credit: Ray Hennessy

He couldn't help but think that nearly anything could be used as a weapon, if one was in a weaponry mood.


Quote: In the meantime, it is best to grab what wonderful moments you find lying around. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of woman holding the shoulder of man
Photo Credit: Heather Mount

In the meantime, it is best to grab what wonderful moments you find lying around.


Quote: The moral of World War I is 'Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of 2 person doing heart hand gesture
Photo Credit: Priscilla Du Preez

The moral of World War I is 'Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand.


Quote: The map is not the territory, Snicket's chaperon advises him. That's an expression which means the world does not match the picture in our heads. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of green textile in close up image
Photo Credit: engin akyurt

The map is not the territory, Snicket's chaperon advises him. That's an expression which means the world does not match the picture in our heads.


Quote: Imagining the worst doesn't keep it from happening. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of red heart and man hanging drawing
Photo Credit: Nick Fewings

Imagining the worst doesn't keep it from happening.


Quote: For Beatrice -- you will always be in my mind, in my heart and in your grave. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of person writing on white paper
Photo Credit: Eugene Chystiakov

For Beatrice -- you will always be in my mind, in my heart and in your grave.


Quote: If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuytbnpasdlgkhasdfasdf. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of white oriental lily flower
Photo Credit: Annie Spratt

If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuytbnpasdlgkhasdfasdf.


Quote: Hungry people should be fed. It takes some people a long time to figure this out. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of person reaching black heart cutout paper
Photo Credit: Kelly Sikkema

Hungry people should be fed. It takes some people a long time to figure this out.


Quote: Ellington Feint was a line in my mind running right down the middle of my life, separating the formal training of my childhood and the territory of the rest of my days. She was an axis, and at that moment and for many moments afterward, my entire world revolved around her. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of Lemony Snicket quote; white text on black background

Ellington Feint was a line in my mind running right down the middle of my life, separating the formal training of my childhood and the territory of the rest of my days. She was an axis, and at that moment and for many moments afterward, my entire world revolved around her.








Quote: Polly Partial handed me a piece of paper printed on all sides with confusing times and locations. It looked like a herd of numbers having a square dance. I would rather have reread her book To Kill a Mockingbird than Stain'd-by-the-Sea's confusing train schedule, but just barely. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of Lemony Snicket quote; white text on black background

Polly Partial handed me a piece of paper printed on all sides with confusing times and locations. It looked like a herd of numbers having a square dance. I would rather have reread her book To Kill a Mockingbird than Stain'd-by-the-Sea's confusing train schedule, but just barely.




Quote: How clever of you to figure that out,' said a voice at the top of the stairs, and Violet, and Klaus were so surprised they almost dropped the lamp. It was Stephano, or, if you prefer, it was Count Olaf. It was the bad guy. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of Lemony Snicket quote; white text on black background

How clever of you to figure that out,' said a voice at the top of the stairs, and Violet, and Klaus were so surprised they almost dropped the lamp. It was Stephano, or, if you prefer, it was Count Olaf. It was the bad guy.


Quote: Count Olaf was so obsessed with getting his filthy hands on the money that he hatched a devious plan that gives me nightmares to this day. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of green leafed plants on forest
Photo Credit: Zoya Konstantinova

Count Olaf was so obsessed with getting his filthy hands on the money that he hatched a devious plan that gives me nightmares to this day.


Quote: I'll tell you why I'm Shirley, Count Olaf said. I'm Shirley because I would like to be called Shirley, and it is impolite not to do so. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of Vincent Van Gogh self portrait painting on wall
Photo Credit: Alina Grubnyak

I'll tell you why I'm Shirley, Count Olaf said. I'm Shirley because I would like to be called Shirley, and it is impolite not to do so.


Quote: Violet stayed still as a statue. She hadn't been listening to the last speech of Count Olaf's, knowing it would be full of the usual self-congratulatory nonsense and despicable insults. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of Lemony Snicket quote; white text on black background

Violet stayed still as a statue. She hadn't been listening to the last speech of Count Olaf's, knowing it would be full of the usual self-congratulatory nonsense and despicable insults.


Quote: Count Olaf had taken out a bottle of wine to pour himself some breakfast, but when he saw the book he stopped, and sat down. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of woman in white dress walking on pathway between trees during daytime
Photo Credit: Greg Rosenke

Count Olaf had taken out a bottle of wine to pour himself some breakfast, but when he saw the book he stopped, and sat down.


Quote: If you were going to give a gold medal to Count Olaf, you would have to lock it up someplace before the awarding ceremony, because Count Olaf was such a greedy and evil man that he would try to steal it beforehand. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of Lemony Snicket quote; white text on black background

If you were going to give a gold medal to Count Olaf, you would have to lock it up someplace before the awarding ceremony, because Count Olaf was such a greedy and evil man that he would try to steal it beforehand.


Quote: You should have given up a long time ago, orphans. I triumphed the moment you lost your family.

We didn't lose our family. Only our parents. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of silhouette of man standing on seashore during sunset
Photo Credit: il vano

You should have given up a long time ago, orphans. I triumphed the moment you lost your family.

We didn't lose our family. Only our parents.


Quote: It is, as you know, very, very rude and usually unnecessary to use profanity. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of brown and black butterfly perched on white flower in close up photography during daytime
Photo Credit: Sagar Kulkarni

It is, as you know, very, very rude and usually unnecessary to use profanity.




Quote: The right hand doesn't know what the left is doing is a phrase that refers to times when people ought to know, but don't know, about something that is happening very close to them. For instance, you ought to know about the man who watches you when you sleep. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of Lemony Snicket quote; white text on black background

The right hand doesn't know what the left is doing is a phrase that refers to times when people ought to know, but don't know, about something that is happening very close to them. For instance, you ought to know about the man who watches you when you sleep.


Quote: Although this table contains a great many elements, from the element oxygen, which is found in the air, to the element aluminum, which is found in cans of soda, the table if elements does not contain one of the most powerful elements that make up our world, and that is the element if surprise. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of Lemony Snicket quote: Although this table contains a great many elements, from the element oxygen, which is found in the air, to the element aluminum, which is found in cans of soda, the table if elements does not contain one of the most powerful elements that make up our world, and that is the element if surprise.- black text on quotes background

Although this table contains a great many elements, from the element oxygen, which is found in the air, to the element aluminum, which is found in cans of soda, the table if elements does not contain one of the most powerful elements that make up our world, and that is the element if surprise.


Quote: We represent the true human condition, the one permanent victory over cruelty and chaos... Our true home is the imagination, and our kingdom is the wide-open world. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of Lemony Snicket quote; white text on black background

We represent the true human condition, the one permanent victory over cruelty and chaos... Our true home is the imagination, and our kingdom is the wide-open world.


Quote: If you have ever lost someone very important to you, then you already know how it feels; and if you haven't, you cannot possibly imagine it. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of brown short coated dog lying on white and pink floral textile
Photo Credit: Joy Christian

If you have ever lost someone very important to you, then you already know how it feels; and if you haven't, you cannot possibly imagine it.


Quote: It was impossible to tame, like leeches. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of person's hand holding round silver analog watch with black leather strap
Photo Credit: Wil Stewart

It was impossible to tame, like leeches.


Raisins are healthy, and they are inexpensive, and some people may even find them delicious. But they are rarely considered helpful.


Quote: If you ask one question, it will lead you to another, and another, and another. It's like peeling an onion. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of red and pink flowers
Photo Credit: Lisa Verena Pape

If you ask one question, it will lead you to another, and another, and another. It's like peeling an onion.


Quote: But you can't read every story, and answer every question even if you'd like to. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of silhouette of person wearing cowboy hat during sunset
Photo Credit: shrpnss

But you can't read every story, and answer every question even if you'd like to.


Quote: What a schmuck! by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of Santorini, Greece
Photo Credit: Ryan Spencer

What a schmuck!


Quote: An Overall Feeling of Doom that One Cannot Ever Escape no Matter What One Does. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of person standing on top of mountain
Photo Credit: Alessandro Erbetta

An Overall Feeling of Doom that One Cannot Ever Escape no Matter What One Does.


Quote: I don't think people have made staples by hand since the fifteenth century. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of five assorted butterflies
Photo Credit: Evie S.

I don't think people have made staples by hand since the fifteenth century.


Quote: I am so tired, I can hardly type these worfs. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of gray and brown hummingbird perching on yellow petaled flower
Photo Credit: John Duncan

I am so tired, I can hardly type these worfs.


Quote: So you're a real person! I always thought you were a legendary figure, like unicorns or Giuseppe Verdi. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of black and white papilio butterfly
Photo Credit: Boris Smokrovic

So you're a real person! I always thought you were a legendary figure, like unicorns or Giuseppe Verdi.


Quote: To those who hadn't been around Violet long, nothing would have seemed unusual, but those who knew her well knew that when she tied her hair up in a ribbon to keep it out of her eyes, it meant that the gears and levers of her inventing brain were whirring at top speed. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of Lemony Snicket quote; white text on black background

To those who hadn't been around Violet long, nothing would have seemed unusual, but those who knew her well knew that when she tied her hair up in a ribbon to keep it out of her eyes, it meant that the gears and levers of her inventing brain were whirring at top speed.


Quote: But you can't invent things like time,' Violet said. 'You can invent things like automatic popcorn poppers. You can invent things like steam-powered window waster. But you can't invent more time. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of Lemony Snicket quote; white text on black background

But you can't invent things like time,' Violet said. 'You can invent things like automatic popcorn poppers. You can invent things like steam-powered window waster. But you can't invent more time.


Quote: If you don't like peas,it is probably because you have not had them fresh.It is the difference between reading a great book and reading the summary on the back. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of Lemony Snicket quote; white text on black background

If you don't like peas,it is probably because you have not had them fresh.It is the difference between reading a great book and reading the summary on the back.


Quote: Anyone who thinks the pen is mightier than the sword has not been stabbed with both. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of sunset highway
Photo Credit: DiscoverQuotes Staff

Anyone who thinks the pen is mightier than the sword has not been stabbed with both.


Quote: Money is like a child--rarely unaccompanied. When it disappears, look to those who were supposed to be keeping an eye on it while you were at the grocery store. You might also look for someone who has a lot of extra children sitting around, with long, suspicious explanations for how they got there. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of Lemony Snicket quote: Money is like a child--rarely unaccompanied. When it disappears, look to those who were supposed to be keeping an eye on it while you were at the grocery store. You might also look for someone who has a lot of extra children sitting around, with long, suspicious explanations for how they got there.- black text on quotes background

Money is like a child--rarely unaccompanied. When it disappears, look to those who were supposed to be keeping an eye on it while you were at the grocery store. You might also look for someone who has a lot of extra children sitting around, with long, suspicious explanations for how they got there.


Quote: I didn't realize this was a sad occasion. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of green leaf in close up photography
Photo Credit: Waldemar Brandt

I didn't realize this was a sad occasion.


Quote: All his life, Klaus had believed that if you read enough books, you could solve any problem, but now he wasn't so sure. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of brown sands
Photo Credit: Daniel Straub

All his life, Klaus had believed that if you read enough books, you could solve any problem, but now he wasn't so sure.


Quote: There's nothing wrong with athletics, but they shouldn't get in the way of your schoolwork. by author Lemony Snicket overlaid on photo of photo of brown parquet
Photo Credit: Luca Rüegg

There's nothing wrong with athletics, but they shouldn't get in the way of your schoolwork.


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