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Wikipedia Summary for Lemony Snicket
Lemony Snicket is the pen name of American novelist Daniel Handler (born February 28, 1970). Handler has published several children's books under the name, most notably A Series of Unfortunate Events, which has sold over 60 million copies and spawned a 2004 film and TV series from 2017 to 2019. Lemony Snicket also serves as the fictional narrator of and a character in A Series of Unfortunate Events as well as the main character in its prequel, a four-part book series titled All the Wrong Questions. Snicket is also featured as a minor character in Cheshire Crossing by Andy Weir.
In A Series of Unfortunate Events, Snicket serves as both the narrator and a character. He investigates and retells the story of the Baudelaire orphans. The series All the Wrong Questions is written as a mock-autobiography, and follows Snicket through his childhood and apprenticeship to the V.F.D.
Snicket is also the subject of a fictional autobiography titled Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography and a pamphlet called 13 Shocking Secrets You'll Wish You Never Knew About Lemony Snicket (released in promotion of The End). Other works by Snicket include The Baby in the Manger, The Composer Is Dead, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid, The Latke Who Couldn't Stop Screaming, The Lump of Coal, and 13 Words.
In the film, Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, Lemony Snicket is portrayed by Jude Law, who documents the events of the film on a typewriter from inside a clock tower. In the video game based on the film, his voice is provided by Tim Curry. In the Series of Unfortunate Events Netflix series, Snicket is interpreted as a Rod Serling-esque omniscient narrator chronicling the events of the Baudelaire children; he is portrayed by Patrick Warburton.
Oftentimes, when people are miserable, they will want to make other people miserable, too. But it never helps.
You can see that it is better not to make too many assumptions, particularly in the morning.
Making assumptions simply means believing things are a certain way with little or no evidence that shows you are correct, and you can see at once how this can lead to terrible trouble.
Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby: awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.
The sky was dark blue twilight, pretty to look at but lonely to walk under.
You know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.
Complimenting someone in an exaggerated way is known as flattery, and flattery will generally get you anything you want.
But I must admit I miss you quite terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.
There is a pair of snakes who have learned to drive a car so recklessly that they would run you over in the street and never stop to apologize.
Perhaps I should just bury myself and become a diamond after thousands of years of intense pressure.
After you leave home, you may find yourself feeling homesick, even if you have a new home that has nicer wallpaper and a more efficient dishwasher than the home in which you grew up.
If you have ever lost someone very important to you, then you already know how it feels, and if you haven't, you cannot possibly imagine it.
Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant, filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.
It's a good plan, Mr. Snicket.
Oh sure, I said, like juggling dynamite, or kicking a polar bear.
Like many people who dress in black, the lump of coal was interested in becoming an artist.
Appearance matters a great deal because you can often tell a lot about people by looking at how they present themselves.
Some people think destiny is something you cannot escape, such as death or a curdled cheesecake, both of which always turn up sooner or later.
Some of the bravest and most resourceful people in the world have come to bad ends.
Arguing with somebody is never pleasant, but sometimes it is useful and necessary to do so.
In an emergency, one often learns that one's companions can be of even less help in extraordinary circumstances than they are during an average evening.
The end of THE END is the best place to begin THE END, because if you read THE END from the beginning of the beginning of THE END to the end of the end of THE END, you will arrive at the end.
Telling an adult to go see something for themselves always works. They never take your word for it. They always, always, have to go see, and Hungry was no different.
Hungry licked her spoon and then pointed it at me. 'Aren't you forgetting the dishes?' she asked.
'Absolutely not,' I said. 'I'll remember the dishes as long as I live. See you later, Hungry.
I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. It is good to brush your teeth when you are angry, because you brush harder and do a better job.
The book did not say anything about a statue, valuable or otherwise, and so I stopped reading about the Bombinating Beast and got interested in the chapter about the Stain'd witches, who had ink instead of blood in their veins. I wondered what they kept in their pens.
Even though there are no ways of knowing for sure, there are ways of knowing for pretty sure.
Theodora glared at me, but Mrs. Murphy Sallis gave me a brief smile and offered me her hand, which was as smooth and soft as old lettuce.
You don't spend your life hanging around books without learning a thing or two.
It doesn't matter if you never see someone again, I told myself. There are millions of people in the world, and most of them never see each other in the first place.
I will love you as a thief loves a gallery and as a crow loves a murder, as a cloud loves bats and as a range loves braes. I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong.
Sooner or later, everyone's story has an unfortunate event or two -- a schism or a death, a fire or a mutiny, the loss of a home or the destruction of a tea set.
It is not always the job of people shouting outside impressive buildings to solve problems. It is often the job of the people inside, who have paper, pens, desks, and an impressive view.
I refuse to argue with you, Charles! You're my partner! Your job is to iron my shirts and cook my omelettes, not boss me around!
Nobody can teach you how to like something. You can like it, or you can pretend to like it, in order to make someone happy.
There are people like this wherever you go. They are part of the same mystery as you are, but you can't quite tell how you fit together. The world is a puzzle, and we cannot solve it alone.
You would do well to be less particular. With a library it is easier to hope for serendipity than to look for a precise answer.
I'm not a stranger, I said, and pointed to his book. I'm someone who reads the same authors you do.
There is no easy way to train an apprentice. My two tools are example and nagging.
Don't you see?' he asked. 'I'm not just the island's facilitator. I'm the island's parent. I keep this library far away from the people under my care, so that they will never be disturbed by the world's terrible secrets.
Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course.
Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course. Piracy, for example, is a tradition that has been carried on for hundreds of years, but that doesn't mean we should all attack ships and steal their gold.
It is so rare in this world to meet a trustworthy person who truly wants to help you, and finding such a person can make you feel warm and safe.
Sunny held Kit, and Violet held Klaus, and for a minute the four castaways did nothing but weep, letting their tears run down their faces and into the sea, which some have said is nothing but a library of all tears in history.
But like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.
She was stronger than Stew Mitchum, or maybe she just wanted something more than he did.
I don't know why wicked places generally look wicked. You'd think they'd look nice, to fool people, but they hardly ever do.
It is very difficult to make one's way in this world without being wicked at one time or another, when the world's way is so wicked to being with.
He couldn't help but think that nearly anything could be used as a weapon, if one was in a weaponry mood.
In the meantime, it is best to grab what wonderful moments you find lying around.
The map is not the territory, Snicket's chaperon advises him. That's an expression which means the world does not match the picture in our heads.
For Beatrice -- you will always be in my mind, in my heart and in your grave.
If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuytbnpasdlgkhasdfasdf.
Hungry people should be fed. It takes some people a long time to figure this out.
Ellington Feint was a line in my mind running right down the middle of my life, separating the formal training of my childhood and the territory of the rest of my days. She was an axis, and at that moment and for many moments afterward, my entire world revolved around her.
Polly Partial handed me a piece of paper printed on all sides with confusing times and locations. It looked like a herd of numbers having a square dance. I would rather have reread her book To Kill a Mockingbird than Stain'd-by-the-Sea's confusing train schedule, but just barely.
How clever of you to figure that out,' said a voice at the top of the stairs, and Violet, and Klaus were so surprised they almost dropped the lamp. It was Stephano, or, if you prefer, it was Count Olaf. It was the bad guy.
Count Olaf was so obsessed with getting his filthy hands on the money that he hatched a devious plan that gives me nightmares to this day.
I'll tell you why I'm Shirley, Count Olaf said. I'm Shirley because I would like to be called Shirley, and it is impolite not to do so.
Violet stayed still as a statue. She hadn't been listening to the last speech of Count Olaf's, knowing it would be full of the usual self-congratulatory nonsense and despicable insults.
Count Olaf had taken out a bottle of wine to pour himself some breakfast, but when he saw the book he stopped, and sat down.
If you were going to give a gold medal to Count Olaf, you would have to lock it up someplace before the awarding ceremony, because Count Olaf was such a greedy and evil man that he would try to steal it beforehand.
You should have given up a long time ago, orphans. I triumphed the moment you lost your family.
We didn't lose our family. Only our parents.
It is, as you know, very, very rude and usually unnecessary to use profanity.
The right hand doesn't know what the left is doing is a phrase that refers to times when people ought to know, but don't know, about something that is happening very close to them. For instance, you ought to know about the man who watches you when you sleep.
Although this table contains a great many elements, from the element oxygen, which is found in the air, to the element aluminum, which is found in cans of soda, the table if elements does not contain one of the most powerful elements that make up our world, and that is the element if surprise.
We represent the true human condition, the one permanent victory over cruelty and chaos... Our true home is the imagination, and our kingdom is the wide-open world.
If you have ever lost someone very important to you, then you already know how it feels; and if you haven't, you cannot possibly imagine it.
Raisins are healthy, and they are inexpensive, and some people may even find them delicious. But they are rarely considered helpful.
If you ask one question, it will lead you to another, and another, and another. It's like peeling an onion.
But you can't read every story, and answer every question even if you'd like to.
An Overall Feeling of Doom that One Cannot Ever Escape no Matter What One Does.
I don't think people have made staples by hand since the fifteenth century.
So you're a real person! I always thought you were a legendary figure, like unicorns or Giuseppe Verdi.
To those who hadn't been around Violet long, nothing would have seemed unusual, but those who knew her well knew that when she tied her hair up in a ribbon to keep it out of her eyes, it meant that the gears and levers of her inventing brain were whirring at top speed.
But you can't invent things like time,' Violet said. 'You can invent things like automatic popcorn poppers. You can invent things like steam-powered window waster. But you can't invent more time.
If you don't like peas,it is probably because you have not had them fresh.It is the difference between reading a great book and reading the summary on the back.
Anyone who thinks the pen is mightier than the sword has not been stabbed with both.
Money is like a child--rarely unaccompanied. When it disappears, look to those who were supposed to be keeping an eye on it while you were at the grocery store. You might also look for someone who has a lot of extra children sitting around, with long, suspicious explanations for how they got there.
All his life, Klaus had believed that if you read enough books, you could solve any problem, but now he wasn't so sure.
There's nothing wrong with athletics, but they shouldn't get in the way of your schoolwork.