photo of Mae WestPhoto Credit: WikiMedia Commons

Quotes by Mae West

Welcome to our collection of quotes (with shareable picture quotes) by Mae West. We hope you enjoy pondering them and that you will share them widely.

Wikipedia Summary for Mae West

Mary Jane "Mae" West (August 17, 1893 – November 22, 1980) was an American stage and film actress, playwright, screenwriter, singer, and sex symbol whose entertainment career spanned over seven decades. She was known for her breezy sexual independence, and her lighthearted bawdy double entendres, often delivered in a husky contralto voice. She was active in vaudeville and on stage in New York City before moving to Los Angeles to pursue a career in the film industry.

West was one of the most controversial movie stars of her day; she encountered many problems, especially censorship. She once quipped, "I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it." She bucked the system by making comedy out of conventional mores, and the Depression-era audience admired her for it. When her film career ended, she wrote books and plays, and continued to perform in Las Vegas and the United Kingdom, on radio and television, and recorded rock 'n roll albums. In 1999, the American Film Institute posthumously voted West the 15th greatest female screen legend of classic American cinema.

Quote: A man's kiss is his signature. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of sunset
Photo Credit: DiscoverQuotes Staff

A man's kiss is his signature.


Quote: A hard man is good to find. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of white printer paper
Photo Credit: Kelly Sikkema

A hard man is good to find.


Quote: The best way to hold a man is in your arms. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of four person standing beside wall
Photo Credit: Gemma Chua-Tran

The best way to hold a man is in your arms.


Quote: Men are easy to get but hard to keep. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Men are easy to get but hard to keep.


Quote: I saw what a mess a lot of people could make of their lives when they're smitten. Some of them go temporarily insane. They find a person who they think holds the key to their happiness-the only key to their happiness... My work has always been my greatest happiness. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of Mae West quote; white text on black background

I saw what a mess a lot of people could make of their lives when they're smitten. Some of them go temporarily insane. They find a person who they think holds the key to their happiness-the only key to their happiness... My work has always been my greatest happiness.


Quote: You know, it was a toss up whether I go in for diamonds or sing in the choir. The choir lost. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

You know, it was a toss up whether I go in for diamonds or sing in the choir. The choir lost.


Quote: They say love is blind...and marriage is an institution. Well, I'm not ready for an institution for the blind just yet. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

They say love is blind...and marriage is an institution. Well, I'm not ready for an institution for the blind just yet.


Quote: He who hesitates is last. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

He who hesitates is last.


Quote: Women are as old as they feel -- and men are old when they lose their feelings. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Women are as old as they feel -- and men are old when they lose their feelings.


Quote: A woman in love can't be reasonable -- or she probably wouldn't be in love. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

A woman in love can't be reasonable -- or she probably wouldn't be in love.


Quote: Hiring someone to write your autobiography is like hiring someone to take a bath for you. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Hiring someone to write your autobiography is like hiring someone to take a bath for you.


Quote: Goodness, what beautiful diamonds! 
Goodness had nothing to do with it. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Goodness, what beautiful diamonds!
Goodness had nothing to do with it.


Quote: Hollywood was like a mouse being followed by a cat called television. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Hollywood was like a mouse being followed by a cat called television.


Quote: I go for two kinds of men. The kind with muscles, and the kind without. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

I go for two kinds of men. The kind with muscles, and the kind without.


Quote: Men are not realists -- only women are. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Men are not realists -- only women are.


Quote: A man has more character in his face at forty than at twenty -- he has suffered longer. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

A man has more character in his face at forty than at twenty -- he has suffered longer.


Quote: I'm the girl that works at Paramount all day, and Fox all night. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

I'm the girl that works at Paramount all day, and Fox all night.


Quote: I've always had a weakness for foreign affairs. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

I've always had a weakness for foreign affairs.


Quote: What's life good fer anyhow? The minute you crawl into the world for no good reason of yer own, it's got you licked four ways from the ace. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

What's life good fer anyhow? The minute you crawl into the world for no good reason of yer own, it's got you licked four ways from the ace.


Quote: Never ask a man where he has been. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Never ask a man where he has been.


Quote: Girls, give all your gentlemen friends an even break, even if you have to break them in the attempt. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Girls, give all your gentlemen friends an even break, even if you have to break them in the attempt.


Quote: Why don't you come up sometime 'n see me? I'm home every evening... Come up. I'll tell your fortune... Ah, you can be had. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Why don't you come up sometime 'n see me? I'm home every evening... Come up. I'll tell your fortune... Ah, you can be had.


Quote: Come up and see me sometime. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Come up and see me sometime.


Quote: I don't know a lot about politics, but I can recognise a good party man when I see one. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

I don't know a lot about politics, but I can recognise a good party man when I see one.


Quote: I'm a good woman for a bad man. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

I'm a good woman for a bad man.


Quote: Good women are no fun... The only good woman I can recall in history was Betsy Ross. And all she ever made was a flag. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Good women are no fun... The only good woman I can recall in history was Betsy Ross. And all she ever made was a flag.


Quote: On the metaphysical: ... I knew in some marvelous way I had touched the hem of the unknown. And being me, I wanted to lift that hemline a little bit more. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

On the metaphysical: ... I knew in some marvelous way I had touched the hem of the unknown. And being me, I wanted to lift that hemline a little bit more.


Quote: A man in love is like a clipped coupon -- it's time to cash in. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

A man in love is like a clipped coupon -- it's time to cash in.


Quote: Woman: You certainly know the way to a man's heart. Mae West: Funny, too, 'cause I don't know how to cook. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Woman: You certainly know the way to a man's heart. Mae West: Funny, too, 'cause I don't know how to cook.


Quote: Life's just a merry-go-round. Come on up. You might get a brass ring. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Life's just a merry-go-round. Come on up. You might get a brass ring.


Quote: The curve is more powerful than the sword. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

The curve is more powerful than the sword.


Quote: It's all right for a perfect stranger to kiss your hand as long as he's perfect. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

It's all right for a perfect stranger to kiss your hand as long as he's perfect.


Quote: Love is like a booger, you pick and pick at it. Then when you get it you wonder how to get rid of it. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Love is like a booger, you pick and pick at it. Then when you get it you wonder how to get rid of it.


Quote: I meet a man with a thousand dollars and leave him with two; that's the meaning of subtraction. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

I meet a man with a thousand dollars and leave him with two; that's the meaning of subtraction.


Quote: I like my clothes tight enough to show I'm a woman, but loose enough to show I'm a lady. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

I like my clothes tight enough to show I'm a woman, but loose enough to show I'm a lady.


Quote: Dating means two things; disillusionment or a racing heart. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Dating means two things; disillusionment or a racing heart.


Quote: Women want certain things in marriage -- the right to a title and a front seat in the lap of luxury. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Women want certain things in marriage -- the right to a title and a front seat in the lap of luxury.


Quote: I believe that one day the world will judge the witch hunt against homosexuals just as harshly as it judges the Spanish Inquisition and the Holocaust. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

I believe that one day the world will judge the witch hunt against homosexuals just as harshly as it judges the Spanish Inquisition and the Holocaust.


Quote: You can say what you like about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

You can say what you like about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.


Quote: All the raves were just words. You don't want to let words confuse you. Words come cheap. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

All the raves were just words. You don't want to let words confuse you. Words come cheap.


Quote: I never needed Panavision and stereophonic sound to woo the world. I did it in black and white on a screen the size of a postage stamp. Honey, that's talent. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

I never needed Panavision and stereophonic sound to woo the world. I did it in black and white on a screen the size of a postage stamp. Honey, that's talent.


Quote: Don't ever make the same mistake twice unless it pays. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Don't ever make the same mistake twice unless it pays.


Quote: Marriage? I ain't got time for a husband or child. All my life I've looked after myself as if I was my own child. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Marriage? I ain't got time for a husband or child. All my life I've looked after myself as if I was my own child.


Quote: Men would wither and custom stale them, but diamonds! Ah, they were crystallized immortality! by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Men would wither and custom stale them, but diamonds! Ah, they were crystallized immortality!


Quote: Ya know it was a toss-up whether I go in for diamonds or sing in the choir. The choir lost. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Ya know it was a toss-up whether I go in for diamonds or sing in the choir. The choir lost.


Quote: When it comes to finances, remember that there are no withholding taxes on the wages of sin. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

When it comes to finances, remember that there are no withholding taxes on the wages of sin.


Quote: You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles.


Quote: A man in the house is worth two on the street. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

A man in the house is worth two on the street.


Quote: Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.


Quote: Dress gives one the outward sign from which people in general can, and often do, judge upon the inward state of mind and feelings. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Dress gives one the outward sign from which people in general can, and often do, judge upon the inward state of mind and feelings.


Quote: Too many girls follow the line of least resistance, but a good line is hard to resist. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Too many girls follow the line of least resistance, but a good line is hard to resist.


Quote: Let's get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Let's get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini.


Quote: Brains are an asset to the woman in love who's smart enough to hide 'em. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Brains are an asset to the woman in love who's smart enough to hide 'em.


Quote: I'm no angel, but I've spread my wings a bit. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

I'm no angel, but I've spread my wings a bit.


Quote: Men are my hobby, if I ever got married I'd have to give it up. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Men are my hobby, if I ever got married I'd have to give it up.


Quote: Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -- and another, in case it doesn't rain. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -- and another, in case it doesn't rain.


Quote: One more drink and I'll be under the host. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

One more drink and I'll be under the host.


Quote: It's not the men in your life that matters, it's the life in your men. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

It's not the men in your life that matters, it's the life in your men.


Quote: Look your best -- who said love is blind? by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Look your best -- who said love is blind?


Quote: Words should be used as tools of communication and not as a substitute for action. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Words should be used as tools of communication and not as a substitute for action.


Quote: Ladies who play with fire must remember that smoke gets in their eyes. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Ladies who play with fire must remember that smoke gets in their eyes.


Quote: Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?


Quote: Never mind about the six feet. Let's talk about the seven inches. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Never mind about the six feet. Let's talk about the seven inches.


Quote: The best way to behave is to misbehave. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

The best way to behave is to misbehave.


Quote: I consider sex a misdemeanor, the more I miss, de meaner I get. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

I consider sex a misdemeanor, the more I miss, de meaner I get.


Quote: Women are like roads. The more curves they have, the more dangerous they are. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Women are like roads. The more curves they have, the more dangerous they are.


Quote: Well behaved women do not make history. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Well behaved women do not make history.


Quote: Flattery will get you everywhere. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Flattery will get you everywhere.


Quote: March isn't the only thing that's in like a lion and out like a lamb. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

March isn't the only thing that's in like a lion and out like a lamb.


Quote: It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean.


Quote: No gold-digging for me; I take diamonds! We may be off the gold standard someday. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

No gold-digging for me; I take diamonds! We may be off the gold standard someday.


Quote: Diamonds talk, and I can stand listenin' to 'em often. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Diamonds talk, and I can stand listenin' to 'em often.


Quote: I have always felt a gift diamond shines so much better than one you buy for yourself. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

I have always felt a gift diamond shines so much better than one you buy for yourself.


Quote: Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just glad to see me? (She made this remark in February 1936, at the railway station in Los Angeles upon her return from Chicago, when a Los Angeles police officer was assigned to escort her home). by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just glad to see me? (She made this remark in February 1936, at the railway station in Los Angeles upon her return from Chicago, when a Los Angeles police officer was assigned to escort her home).


Quote: I'd like to see Paris before I die. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

I'd like to see Paris before I die.

Longer Version/[Notes]:

I'd like to see Paris before I die. Philadelphia will do.


Quote: I always did like a man in uniform. And that one fits you grand. Why don't you come up sometime and see me? by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

I always did like a man in uniform. And that one fits you grand. Why don't you come up sometime and see me?


Quote: I have found men who didn't know how to kiss. I've always found time to teach them. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

I have found men who didn't know how to kiss. I've always found time to teach them.


Quote: Love isn't an emotion or an instinct -- it's an art. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Love isn't an emotion or an instinct -- it's an art.


Quote: Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.


Quote: I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it.


Quote: There are no good girls gone wrong -- just bad girls found out. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

There are no good girls gone wrong -- just bad girls found out.


Quote: You are never too old to become younger. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

You are never too old to become younger.

Longer Version/[Notes]:

You are never too old to become younger!


Quote: We must fall in love with ourselves. I don't like myself. I'm crazy about myself. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

We must fall in love with ourselves. I don't like myself. I'm crazy about myself.


Quote: I've been in more laps than a napkin. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

I've been in more laps than a napkin.


Quote: I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.


Quote: Say what you want about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Say what you want about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.


Quote: I enjoyed the courtroom as just another stage but not so amusing as Broadway. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

I enjoyed the courtroom as just another stage but not so amusing as Broadway.


Quote: When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.


Quote: It takes two to get one in trouble. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

It takes two to get one in trouble.


Quote: It's not what I do, but the way I do it. It's not what I say, but the way I say it. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

It's not what I do, but the way I do it. It's not what I say, but the way I say it.


Quote: He who hesitates is a damned fool. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

He who hesitates is a damned fool.


Quote: Any time you've got nothing to do and lots of time to do it come on up. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Any time you've got nothing to do and lots of time to do it come on up.


Quote: Don't marry a man to reform him -- that's what reform schools are for. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Don't marry a man to reform him -- that's what reform schools are for.


Quote: Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring.


Quote: Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.


Quote: I believe that it's better to be looked over than it is to be overlooked. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

I believe that it's better to be looked over than it is to be overlooked.


Quote: I like a man who's good, but not too good -- for the good die young, and I hate a dead one. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

I like a man who's good, but not too good -- for the good die young, and I hate a dead one.


Quote: I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far.


Quote: I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.


Quote: Virtue has its own reward, but no sale at the box office. by author Mae West overlaid on photo of photo of author Mae West with quote

Virtue has its own reward, but no sale at the box office.


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