Title Image - Quotes by Author Mae WestPhoto Credit: WikiMedia Commons

Welcome to our collection of quotes (with shareable picture quotes) by Mae West. We hope you enjoy pondering them and that you will share them widely.

Wikipedia Summary for Mae West

Mary Jane "Mae" West (August 17, 1893 – November 22, 1980) was an American stage and film actress, playwright, screenwriter, singer, and sex symbol whose entertainment career spanned over seven decades. She was known for her breezy sexual independence, and her lighthearted bawdy double entendres, often delivered in a husky contralto voice. She was active in vaudeville and on stage in New York City before moving to Los Angeles to pursue a career in the film industry.

West was one of the most controversial movie stars of her day; she encountered many problems, especially censorship. She once quipped, "I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it." She bucked the system by making comedy out of conventional mores, and the Depression-era audience admired her for it. When her film career ended, she wrote books and plays, and continued to perform in Las Vegas and the United Kingdom, on radio and television, and recorded rock 'n roll albums. In 1999, the American Film Institute posthumously voted West the 15th greatest female screen legend of classic American cinema.

Men are easy to get but hard to keep.

--Mae West

I saw what a mess a lot of people could make of their lives when they're smitten. Some of them go temporarily insane. They find a person who they think holds the key to their happiness-the only key to their happiness... My work has always been my greatest happiness.

--Mae West

You know, it was a toss up whether I go in for diamonds or sing in the choir. The choir lost.

--Mae West

They say love is blind...and marriage is an institution. Well, I'm not ready for an institution for the blind just yet.

--Mae West

He who hesitates is last.

--Mae West

Women are as old as they feel -- and men are old when they lose their feelings.

--Mae West

A woman in love can't be reasonable -- or she probably wouldn't be in love.

--Mae West

Hiring someone to write your autobiography is like hiring someone to take a bath for you.

--Mae West

Goodness, what beautiful diamonds!
Goodness had nothing to do with it.

--Mae West

Hollywood was like a mouse being followed by a cat called television.

--Mae West

I go for two kinds of men. The kind with muscles, and the kind without.

--Mae West

Men are not realists -- only women are.

--Mae West

A man has more character in his face at forty than at twenty -- he has suffered longer.

--Mae West

I'm the girl that works at Paramount all day, and Fox all night.

--Mae West

I've always had a weakness for foreign affairs.

--Mae West

What's life good fer anyhow? The minute you crawl into the world for no good reason of yer own, it's got you licked four ways from the ace.

--Mae West

Never ask a man where he has been.

--Mae West

Girls, give all your gentlemen friends an even break, even if you have to break them in the attempt.

--Mae West

Why don't you come up sometime 'n see me? I'm home every evening... Come up. I'll tell your fortune... Ah, you can be had.

--Mae West

Come up and see me sometime.

--Mae West

I don't know a lot about politics, but I can recognise a good party man when I see one.

--Mae West

I'm a good woman for a bad man.

--Mae West

Good women are no fun... The only good woman I can recall in history was Betsy Ross. And all she ever made was a flag.

--Mae West

On the metaphysical: ... I knew in some marvelous way I had touched the hem of the unknown. And being me, I wanted to lift that hemline a little bit more.

--Mae West

A man in love is like a clipped coupon -- it's time to cash in.

--Mae West

Woman: You certainly know the way to a man's heart. Mae West: Funny, too, 'cause I don't know how to cook.

--Mae West

Life's just a merry-go-round. Come on up. You might get a brass ring.

--Mae West

The curve is more powerful than the sword.

--Mae West

It's all right for a perfect stranger to kiss your hand as long as he's perfect.

--Mae West

Love is like a booger, you pick and pick at it. Then when you get it you wonder how to get rid of it.

--Mae West

I meet a man with a thousand dollars and leave him with two; that's the meaning of subtraction.

--Mae West

I like my clothes tight enough to show I'm a woman, but loose enough to show I'm a lady.

--Mae West

Dating means two things; disillusionment or a racing heart.

--Mae West

Women want certain things in marriage -- the right to a title and a front seat in the lap of luxury.

--Mae West

I believe that one day the world will judge the witch hunt against homosexuals just as harshly as it judges the Spanish Inquisition and the Holocaust.

--Mae West

You can say what you like about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.

--Mae West

All the raves were just words. You don't want to let words confuse you. Words come cheap.

--Mae West

I never needed Panavision and stereophonic sound to woo the world. I did it in black and white on a screen the size of a postage stamp. Honey, that's talent.

--Mae West

Don't ever make the same mistake twice unless it pays.

--Mae West

Marriage? I ain't got time for a husband or child. All my life I've looked after myself as if I was my own child.

--Mae West

Men would wither and custom stale them, but diamonds! Ah, they were crystallized immortality!

--Mae West

Ya know it was a toss-up whether I go in for diamonds or sing in the choir. The choir lost.

--Mae West

When it comes to finances, remember that there are no withholding taxes on the wages of sin.

--Mae West

You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles.

--Mae West

A man in the house is worth two on the street.

--Mae West

Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

--Mae West

Dress gives one the outward sign from which people in general can, and often do, judge upon the inward state of mind and feelings.

--Mae West

Too many girls follow the line of least resistance, but a good line is hard to resist.

--Mae West

Let's get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini.

--Mae West

Brains are an asset to the woman in love who's smart enough to hide 'em.

--Mae West

I'm no angel, but I've spread my wings a bit.

--Mae West

Men are my hobby, if I ever got married I'd have to give it up.

--Mae West

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -- and another, in case it doesn't rain.

--Mae West

One more drink and I'll be under the host.

--Mae West

It's not the men in your life that matters, it's the life in your men.

--Mae West

Look your best -- who said love is blind?

--Mae West

Words should be used as tools of communication and not as a substitute for action.

--Mae West

Ladies who play with fire must remember that smoke gets in their eyes.

--Mae West

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

--Mae West

Never mind about the six feet. Let's talk about the seven inches.

--Mae West

The best way to behave is to misbehave.

--Mae West

I consider sex a misdemeanor, the more I miss, de meaner I get.

--Mae West

Women are like roads. The more curves they have, the more dangerous they are.

--Mae West

Well behaved women do not make history.

--Mae West

Flattery will get you everywhere.

--Mae West

March isn't the only thing that's in like a lion and out like a lamb.

--Mae West

It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean.

--Mae West

No gold-digging for me; I take diamonds! We may be off the gold standard someday.

--Mae West

Diamonds talk, and I can stand listenin' to 'em often.

--Mae West

I have always felt a gift diamond shines so much better than one you buy for yourself.

--Mae West

Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just glad to see me? (She made this remark in February 1936, at the railway station in Los Angeles upon her return from Chicago, when a Los Angeles police officer was assigned to escort her home).

--Mae West

I'd like to see Paris before I die.

--Mae West

Longer Version:

I'd like to see Paris before I die. Philadelphia will do.


I always did like a man in uniform. And that one fits you grand. Why don't you come up sometime and see me?

--Mae West

I have found men who didn't know how to kiss. I've always found time to teach them.

--Mae West

Love isn't an emotion or an instinct -- it's an art.

--Mae West

Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

--Mae West

I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it.

--Mae West

There are no good girls gone wrong -- just bad girls found out.

--Mae West

You are never too old to become younger.

--Mae West

Longer Version:

You are never too old to become younger!


We must fall in love with ourselves. I don't like myself. I'm crazy about myself.

--Mae West

I've been in more laps than a napkin.

--Mae West

I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.

--Mae West

Say what you want about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.

--Mae West

I enjoyed the courtroom as just another stage but not so amusing as Broadway.

--Mae West

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

--Mae West

It takes two to get one in trouble.

--Mae West

It's not what I do, but the way I do it. It's not what I say, but the way I say it.

--Mae West

He who hesitates is a damned fool.

--Mae West

Any time you've got nothing to do and lots of time to do it come on up.

--Mae West

Don't marry a man to reform him -- that's what reform schools are for.

--Mae West

Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring.

--Mae West

Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.

--Mae West

I believe that it's better to be looked over than it is to be overlooked.

--Mae West

I like a man who's good, but not too good -- for the good die young, and I hate a dead one.

--Mae West

A man's kiss is his signature.

--Mae West

I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far.

--Mae West

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.

--Mae West

Virtue has its own reward, but no sale at the box office.

--Mae West

I never loved another person the way I loved myself.

--Mae West

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.

--Mae West

Quotes by Mae West are featured in:


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