photo of Mark TwainPhoto Credit: WikiMedia Commons

quote by Mark Twain: The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: The secret to getting ahead is getting started. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

The secret to getting ahead is getting started.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.

--Mark Twain

quote by Mark Twain: Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Loyalty to country always. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Loyalty to country always. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter. ’tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter. ’tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most? with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect). with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to you than the ninety-and-nine which you had to work for, and money won at faro or in stock snuggles into your heart in the same way. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to you than the ninety-and-nine which you had to work for, and money won at faro or in stock snuggles into your heart in the same way.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Everything has its limit -- iron ore cannot be educated into gold. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Everything has its limit -- iron ore cannot be educated into gold.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: A little citizenship ought to be taught at the mother's knee and in the nursery. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A little citizenship ought to be taught at the mother's knee and in the nursery.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Good citizenship would teach accuracy of thinking and accuracy of statement. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Good citizenship would teach accuracy of thinking and accuracy of statement.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: A sincere compliment is always grateful to a lady, so long as you don't try to knock her down with it. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A sincere compliment is always grateful to a lady, so long as you don't try to knock her down with it.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: A man with a hump backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross eyed aunt. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A man with a hump backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross eyed aunt.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Every one is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Every one is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: A man will do many things to get himself loved. He will do all things to get himself envied. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A man will do many things to get himself loved. He will do all things to get himself envied.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: A conspiracy is nothing but a secret agreement of a number of men for the pursuance of policies which they dare not admit in public. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A conspiracy is nothing but a secret agreement of a number of men for the pursuance of policies which they dare not admit in public.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: An honest man in politics shines more there than he would elsewhere. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

An honest man in politics shines more there than he would elsewhere.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Consider the average intelligence of the common man, then realize 50% are even stupider. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Consider the average intelligence of the common man, then realize 50% are even stupider.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: A jay hasn't got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will deceive, a jay will betray; and four times out of five, a jay will go back on his solemnest promis… with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A jay hasn't got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will deceive, a jay will betray; and four times out of five, a jay will go back on his solemnest promise.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: A crowded police docket is the surest of all signs that trade is brisk and money plenty. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A crowded police docket is the surest of all signs that trade is brisk and money plenty.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: An ecstasy is a thing that will not go into words; it feels like music. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

An ecstasy is a thing that will not go into words; it feels like music.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Custom is petrification, nothing but dynamite can dislodge it for a century. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Custom is petrification, nothing but dynamite can dislodge it for a century.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: I am not given to exaggeration, and when I say a thing I mean it. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I am not given to exaggeration, and when I say a thing I mean it.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Half of the results of a good intentions are evil; half the results of an evil intention are good. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Half of the results of a good intentions are evil; half the results of an evil intention are good.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: All human rules are more or less idiotic. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

All human rules are more or less idiotic.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: In writing, I shall always confine myself strictly to the truth, except when it is attended with inconvenience. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

In writing, I shall always confine myself strictly to the truth, except when it is attended with inconvenience.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: A newspaper is not just for reporting the news as it is, but to make people mad enough to do something about it. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A newspaper is not just for reporting the news as it is, but to make people mad enough to do something about it.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confine themselves to facts. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confine themselves to facts.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Everybody's private motto: It's better to be popular than right. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Everybody's private motto: It's better to be popular than right.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: An injurious truth has no merit over an injurious lie. Neither should ever be uttered. The man who speaks an injurious truth, lest his soul be not saved if he do otherwise, should reflect that that s… with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

An injurious truth has no merit over an injurious lie. Neither should ever be uttered. The man who speaks an injurious truth, lest his soul be not saved if he do otherwise, should reflect that that sort of a soul is not strictly worth saving.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: I do not allow my schooling to interfere with my education. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I do not allow my schooling to interfere with my education.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Are you so unobservant as not to have found out that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination? with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Are you so unobservant as not to have found out that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: A sense of humor is the one thing no one will admit to not having. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A sense of humor is the one thing no one will admit to not having.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Eloquence is the essential thing in a speech, not information. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Eloquence is the essential thing in a speech, not information.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: I deal with temptation by yielding to it. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I deal with temptation by yielding to it.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: A thing long expected takes the form of the unexpected when at last it comes. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A thing long expected takes the form of the unexpected when at last it comes.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Be virtuous and you will be eccentric. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Be virtuous and you will be eccentric.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Don't use a five-dollar word when a fifty-cent word will do. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Don't use a five-dollar word when a fifty-cent word will do.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them have never happened. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them have never happened.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Don't go around thinking the world owes you a living. It was here first. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Don't go around thinking the world owes you a living. It was here first.

--Mark Twain

Longer Version:

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.


quote by Mark Twain: An inglorious peace is better than a dishonorable war. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

An inglorious peace is better than a dishonorable war.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: nobody really enjoys it, and the frog generally dies as a result. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: nobody really enjoys it, and the frog generally dies as a result.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Few things are more irritating than when someone who is wrong is also very effective in making his point. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Few things are more irritating than when someone who is wrong is also very effective in making his point.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Custom is custom: it is built of brass, boiler-iron, granite; facts, reasonings, arguments have no more effect upon it than the idle winds have upon Gibraltar. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Custom is custom: it is built of brass, boiler-iron, granite; facts, reasonings, arguments have no more effect upon it than the idle winds have upon Gibraltar.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Every inventor is a crackpot until his idea succeeds. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Every inventor is a crackpot until his idea succeeds.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the law of custom, and custom supersedes all other forms of law. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the law of custom, and custom supersedes all other forms of law.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: All gods are better than their reputation. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

All gods are better than their reputation.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: A group of men in evening clothes looks like a flock of crows, and is just about as inspiring. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A group of men in evening clothes looks like a flock of crows, and is just about as inspiring.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: A gifted person ought to learn English (barring spelling and pronouncing) in thirty hours, French in thirty days, and German in thirty years. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A gifted person ought to learn English (barring spelling and pronouncing) in thirty hours, French in thirty days, and German in thirty years.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Anyone who can only think of one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Anyone who can only think of one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: I don't want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I don't want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Always tell the truth; then you don't have to remember anything. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Always tell the truth; then you don't have to remember anything.

--Mark Twain

quote by Mark Twain: I can last two months on a good compliment. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I can last two months on a good compliment.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: I can speak French but I cannot understand it. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I can speak French but I cannot understand it.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail.

--Mark Twain

Longer Version:

Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at one end you lose at the other. It's like feeding a dog on his own tail. It won't fatten the dog.


quote by Mark Twain: A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversation. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversation.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Children and fools always speak the truth. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Children and fools always speak the truth.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: An open mind leaves a chance for someone to drop a worthwhile thought in it. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

An open mind leaves a chance for someone to drop a worthwhile thought in it.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: All good things arrive unto them that wait -- and don't die in the meantime. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

All good things arrive unto them that wait -- and don't die in the meantime.

--Mark Twain
quote by Mark Twain: As to the adjective: when in doubt, strike it out. with background image: photo of author Mark Twain with quote

As to the adjective: when in doubt, strike it out.

--Mark Twain

We wish you a perfect day!