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Quotes by Mark Twain (Page 2 of 2)

Quote: Be virtuous and you will be eccentric. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Be virtuous and you will be eccentric.


Quote: Don't use a five-dollar word when a fifty-cent word will do. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Don't use a five-dollar word when a fifty-cent word will do.


Quote: I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them have never happened. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them have never happened.


Quote: Don't go around thinking the world owes you a living. It was here first. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Don't go around thinking the world owes you a living. It was here first.

Longer Version/[Notes]:

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.


Quote: An inglorious peace is better than a dishonorable war. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

An inglorious peace is better than a dishonorable war.


Quote: Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: nobody really enjoys it, and the frog generally dies as a result. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: nobody really enjoys it, and the frog generally dies as a result.


Quote: Few things are more irritating than when someone who is wrong is also very effective in making his point. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Few things are more irritating than when someone who is wrong is also very effective in making his point.


Quote: Custom is custom: it is built of brass, boiler-iron, granite; facts, reasonings, arguments have no more effect upon it than the idle winds have upon Gibraltar. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Custom is custom: it is built of brass, boiler-iron, granite; facts, reasonings, arguments have no more effect upon it than the idle winds have upon Gibraltar.


Quote: Every inventor is a crackpot until his idea succeeds. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Every inventor is a crackpot until his idea succeeds.


Quote: A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the law of custom, and custom supersedes all other forms of law. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the law of custom, and custom supersedes all other forms of law.


Quote: All gods are better than their reputation. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

All gods are better than their reputation.


Quote: A group of men in evening clothes looks like a flock of crows, and is just about as inspiring. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A group of men in evening clothes looks like a flock of crows, and is just about as inspiring.


Quote: A gifted person ought to learn English (barring spelling and pronouncing) in thirty hours, French in thirty days, and German in thirty years. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A gifted person ought to learn English (barring spelling and pronouncing) in thirty hours, French in thirty days, and German in thirty years.


Quote: Anyone who can only think of one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Anyone who can only think of one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination.


Quote: I don't want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I don't want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee.


Quote: A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.


Quote: Always tell the truth; then you don't have to remember anything. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Always tell the truth; then you don't have to remember anything.


Quote: Does the human being reason? No; he thinks, muses, reflects, but does not reason...that is, in the two things which are the peculiar domain of the heart, not the mind, politics and religion. He doesn't want to know the other side. He wants arguments and statistics for his own side, and nothing more. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of Mark Twain quote: Does the human being reason? No; he thinks, muses, reflects, but does not reason...that is, in the two things which are the peculiar domain of the heart, not the mind, politics and religion. He doesn't want to know the other side. He wants arguments and statistics for his own side, and nothing more.- black text on quotes background

Does the human being reason? No; he thinks, muses, reflects, but does not reason...that is, in the two things which are the peculiar domain of the heart, not the mind, politics and religion. He doesn't want to know the other side. He wants arguments and statistics for his own side, and nothing more.


Quote: I can speak French but I cannot understand it. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I can speak French but I cannot understand it.


Quote: A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle.


Quote: Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail.

Longer Version/[Notes]:

Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at one end you lose at the other. It's like feeding a dog on his own tail. It won't fatten the dog.


Quote: A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversation. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversation.


Quote: Children and fools always speak the truth. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Children and fools always speak the truth.


Quote: Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.


Quote: An open mind leaves a chance for someone to drop a worthwhile thought in it. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

An open mind leaves a chance for someone to drop a worthwhile thought in it.


Quote: All good things arrive unto them that wait -- and don't die in the meantime. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

All good things arrive unto them that wait -- and don't die in the meantime.


Quote: As to the adjective: when in doubt, strike it out. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

As to the adjective: when in doubt, strike it out.


Quote: A lie can make it half way around the world before the truth has time to put its boots on. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A lie can make it half way around the world before the truth has time to put its boots on.


Quote: Books are the liberated spirits of men. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Books are the liberated spirits of men.


Quote: Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.


Quote: You should never trust a man who has only one way to spell a word. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

You should never trust a man who has only one way to spell a word.


Quote: A new oath holds pretty well; but... when it is become old, and frayed out, and damaged by a dozen annual retryings of its remains, it ceases to be serviceable; any little strain will snap it. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A new oath holds pretty well; but... when it is become old, and frayed out, and damaged by a dozen annual retryings of its remains, it ceases to be serviceable; any little strain will snap it.


Quote: The report of my death was an exaggeration. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

The report of my death was an exaggeration.

Longer Version/[Notes]:

The report of my illness grew out of his (James Clemens) illness. The report of my death was an exaggeration.


Quote: A railroad is like a lie you have to keep building it to make it stand. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A railroad is like a lie you have to keep building it to make it stand.


Quote: Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.


Quote: A woman springs a sudden reproach upon you which provokes a hot retort, and then she will presently ask you to apologize. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A woman springs a sudden reproach upon you which provokes a hot retort, and then she will presently ask you to apologize.


Quote: Alas! those good old days are gone, when a murderer could wipe the stain from his name and soothe his trouble to sleep simply by getting out his blocks and mortar and building an addition to a church. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Alas! those good old days are gone, when a murderer could wipe the stain from his name and soothe his trouble to sleep simply by getting out his blocks and mortar and building an addition to a church.


Quote: I could be an idiot, or I can serve in Congress, but I repeat myself. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I could be an idiot, or I can serve in Congress, but I repeat myself.


Quote: A powerful agent is the right word: it lights the reader's way and makes it plain. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A powerful agent is the right word: it lights the reader's way and makes it plain.

Longer Version/[Notes]:

A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words in a book or newspaper the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt.


Quote: Experience, the only logic sure to convince a diseased imagination and restore it to rugged health. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Experience, the only logic sure to convince a diseased imagination and restore it to rugged health.


Quote: A country without a patent office and good patent laws is just a crab, and can't travel any way but sideways and backways. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A country without a patent office and good patent laws is just a crab, and can't travel any way but sideways and backways.


Quote: A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificant by and by. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificant by and by.

Longer Version/[Notes]:

A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificiant by and by. The Alps and the glaciers together are able to take every bit of conceit out of a man and reduce his self-importance to zero if he will only remain within the influence of their sublime presence long enough to give it a fair and reasonable chance to do its work.


Quote: A person who has a cat by the tail knows a whole lot more about cats than someone who has just read about them. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A person who has a cat by the tail knows a whole lot more about cats than someone who has just read about them.


Quote: Compliments make me vain: and when I am vain, I am insolent and overbearing. It is a pity, too, because I love compliments. I love them even when they are not so. My child, I can live on a good compliment two weeks with nothing else to eat. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Compliments make me vain: and when I am vain, I am insolent and overbearing. It is a pity, too, because I love compliments. I love them even when they are not so. My child, I can live on a good compliment two weeks with nothing else to eat.


Quote: An uneasy conscience is a hair in the mouth. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

An uneasy conscience is a hair in the mouth.


Quote: I would rather go to bed with Lillian Russell stark naked than Ulysses S Grant in full military regalia. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I would rather go to bed with Lillian Russell stark naked than Ulysses S Grant in full military regalia.


Quote: Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it.


Quote: The unspoken word is capital. We can invest it or we can squander it. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

The unspoken word is capital. We can invest it or we can squander it.


Quote: I have been on the verge of being an angel all my life, but it's never happened yet. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I have been on the verge of being an angel all my life, but it's never happened yet.


Quote: Among other common lies, we have the silent lie -- the deception which one conveys by simply keeping still and concealing the truth. Many obstinate truth-mongers indulge in this dissipation, imagining that if they speak no lie, they lie not at all. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Among other common lies, we have the silent lie -- the deception which one conveys by simply keeping still and concealing the truth. Many obstinate truth-mongers indulge in this dissipation, imagining that if they speak no lie, they lie not at all.


Quote: An author values a compliment even when it comes from a source of doubtful competency. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

An author values a compliment even when it comes from a source of doubtful competency.


Quote: The true pioneer of civilization is not the newspaper, not religion, not the railroad -- but whiskey! by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

The true pioneer of civilization is not the newspaper, not religion, not the railroad -- but whiskey!


Quote: A good and wholesome thing is a little harmless fun in this world; it tones a body up and keeps him human and prevents him from souring. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A good and wholesome thing is a little harmless fun in this world; it tones a body up and keeps him human and prevents him from souring.


Quote: Adam was not alone in the Garden of Eden, however, and does not deserve all the credit; much is due to Eve, the first woman, and Satan, the first consultant. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Adam was not alone in the Garden of Eden, however, and does not deserve all the credit; much is due to Eve, the first woman, and Satan, the first consultant.


Quote: A full belly is of little worth where the mind is starved, and the heart. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A full belly is of little worth where the mind is starved, and the heart.


Quote: Conservatism is the blind and fear-filled worship of dead radicals. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Conservatism is the blind and fear-filled worship of dead radicals.


Quote: All our acts -- reasoned and unreasoned, are selfish. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

All our acts -- reasoned and unreasoned, are selfish.


Quote: After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.


Quote: He was sunshine most always-I mean he made it seem like good weather. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

He was sunshine most always-I mean he made it seem like good weather.


Quote: I can always tell which is the front end of a horse, but beyond that, my art is not above the ordinary. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I can always tell which is the front end of a horse, but beyond that, my art is not above the ordinary.


Quote: I cannot keep from talking, even at the risk of being instructive. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I cannot keep from talking, even at the risk of being instructive.


Quote: Data is like garbage. You'd better know what you are going to do with it before you collect it. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Data is like garbage. You'd better know what you are going to do with it before you collect it.


Quote: I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.

Longer Version/[Notes]:

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time. I have no other restriction as regards smoking. I do not know just when I began to smoke, I only know that it was in my father's lifetime, and that I was discreet. He passed from this life early in 1847, when I was a shade past 11; ever since then I have smoked publicly. As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep and never to refrain when awake.

I smoke in bed until I have to go to sleep; I wake up in the night, sometimes once, sometimes twice, sometimes three times, and I never waste any of these opportunities to smoke. This habit is so old and dear and precious to me that if I should break it I should feel as you, Sir, would feel if you should lose the only moral you've got.


Quote: A kindly courtesy does at least save one's feelings, even if it is not professing to stand for a welcome. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A kindly courtesy does at least save one's feelings, even if it is not professing to stand for a welcome.


Quote: I am pushing sixty. That is enough exercise for me. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I am pushing sixty. That is enough exercise for me.


Quote: And what is a man without energy? Nothing -- nothing at all. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

And what is a man without energy? Nothing -- nothing at all.


Quote: Adam was the luckiest man in the world. He had no mother-in-law. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Adam was the luckiest man in the world. He had no mother-in-law.


Quote: A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows.


Quote: Death is the starlit strip between the companionship of yesterday and the reunion of tomorrow. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Death is the starlit strip between the companionship of yesterday and the reunion of tomorrow.


Quote: Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions.


Quote: Get a bicycle. You will not regret it, if you live. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Get a bicycle. You will not regret it, if you live.


Quote: Children have but little charity for one another's defects. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Children have but little charity for one another's defects.


Quote: I don't like to commit myself about Heaven and Hell, you see, I have friends in both places. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I don't like to commit myself about Heaven and Hell, you see, I have friends in both places.


Quote: Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.


Quote: Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.


Quote: Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes-none knows whence-and cannot explain itself. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes-none knows whence-and cannot explain itself.


Quote: A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.


Quote: Adam did not want the apple for the apple's sake; he wanted it because it was forbidden. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Adam did not want the apple for the apple's sake; he wanted it because it was forbidden.


Quote: A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.


Quote: A home without a cat -- and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat -- may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title? by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A home without a cat -- and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat -- may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?


Quote: A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.


Quote: Every time I reform in one direction I go overboard in another. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Every time I reform in one direction I go overboard in another.


Quote: December is the toughest month of the year. Others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, October, August, and February. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

December is the toughest month of the year. Others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, October, August, and February.


Quote: Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.


Quote: Congressman is the trivialist distinction for a full grown man. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Congressman is the trivialist distinction for a full grown man.


Quote: Doesn't make any difference who we are or what we are, there's always somebody to look down on. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Doesn't make any difference who we are or what we are, there's always somebody to look down on.


Quote: I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it.


Quote: A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.


Quote: Anybody can have ideas -- the difficulty is to express them without squandering a quire of paper on an idea that ought to be reduced to one glittering paragraph. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Anybody can have ideas -- the difficulty is to express them without squandering a quire of paper on an idea that ought to be reduced to one glittering paragraph.


Quote: Never regret anything that made you smile. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Never regret anything that made you smile.


Quote: The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.

Longer Version/[Notes]:

The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession--what there is of it.


Quote: In the spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

In the spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.


Quote: A discriminating irreverence is the creator and protector of human liberty. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A discriminating irreverence is the creator and protector of human liberty.


Quote: ′Classic′ -- a book which people praise and don't read. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

′Classic′ -- a book which people praise and don't read.


Quote: Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.


Quote: A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.


Quote: I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.


Quote: Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.


Quote: Few of us can stand prosperity. Another man's, I mean. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Few of us can stand prosperity. Another man's, I mean.


Quote: A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.


Quote: Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.


Quote: Do not tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Do not tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish.


Quote: Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.


Quote: Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.


Quote: Don't let schooling interfere with your education. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Don't let schooling interfere with your education.


Quote: Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul.


Quote: Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.


Quote: Buy land, they're not making it anymore. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Buy land, they're not making it anymore.


Quote: Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.


Quote: I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.


Quote: Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.


Quote: Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.


Quote: A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.


Quote: I can live for two months on a good compliment. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

I can live for two months on a good compliment.


Quote: Better a broken promise than none at all. by author Mark Twain overlaid on photo of photo of author Mark Twain with quote

Better a broken promise than none at all.


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