Quotes by Oscar Levant

I don't drink liquor. I don't like it. It makes me feel good.

It's not what your are, it's what you don't become that hurts.

Every time I look at you, I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

How long have you been working for that virtuoso of the magic violin? I don't mean that as a compliment. I only say a magic violin because when he plays it, everyone disappears.

He uses his music as an accompaniment to his conducting.

She was born with a silver flask in her mouth.

I'm a controversial figure: my friends either dislike me or hate me.

Tell me, Mrs. Wright, does your husband interfere with your marriage?

You know the only reason I'm appearing here is there's no more beds in the mental institution.

There is a thin line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Strip the phony tinsel off Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility. There are so few of us left.

Ballet is the fairies' baseball.

I don't like to play the piano. It makes me too attractive.

A pun is the lowest form of humor--when you don't think of it first.

My psychiatrist once said to me, 'Maybe life isn't for everyone'.

I'm a concert pianist, that's a pretentious way of saying I'm unemployed at the moment.

When I was young I looked like Al Capone, but I lacked his compassion.

I never read bad reviews about myself, because my friends invariably tell me about them.

I'm controversial. My friends either dislike me or hate me.

An epigram is only a wisecrack that's played at Carnegie Hall.

A conductor should reconcile himself to the realization that regardless of his approach or temperament the eventual result is the same-the orchestra will hate him.

When I can't sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen.

In some situations I was difficult, in odd moments impossible, in rare moments loathsome, but at my best unapproachably great.

I'm a self-made man. Who else would help?

I could never have a mistress, because I couldn't bear to tell the story of my life all over again.

My last picture for Warners was Romance on the High Seas. It was Doris Day's first picture; that was before she became a virgin.

Now that Marilyn Monroe is kosher, Arthur Miller can eat her.

You can't possibly hear the last movement of Beethoven's Seventh and go slow. (Oscar trying to talk his way out of a speeding ticket).

I played an unsympathetic part -- myself.

Talent's like a baby. Wrap it up in wool and it goes to sleep.

It'd be nice to please everyone but I thought it would be more interesting to have a point of view.

Once he makes up his mind, he's full of indecision. -- On Dwight D. Eisenhower.

I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients.

It's not what you are, it's what you don't become that hurts.

I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.

I envy people who drink -- at least they know what to blame everything on.

I have no trouble with my enemies. But my goddam friends… they are the ones that keep me walking the floor nights.

I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin.

I have given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself.

There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.

I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.

I don't drink. I don't like it. It makes me feel good.

So little time and so little to do.

Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel.

I think a lot of Bernstein -- but not as much as he does.

I have no trouble with y enemies. But my god damn friends... they are the ones that keep me walking the floors at night.

Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.

I'm a study of a man in chaos in search of frenzy.

Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.

A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to it.

I am no more humble than my talents require.

Once Dwight Eisenhower makes up his mind, he's full of indecision.

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Once I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision.

Schizophrenia beats dining alone.

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself.

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left.

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.