It is futile to put personality ahead of character, to try to improve relationships with others before improving ourselves.
One of the best ways to educate our hearts is to look at our interaction with other people, because our relationships with others are fundamentally a reflection of our relationship with ourselves.
Whatever your present situation, I assure you that you are not your habits. You can replace old patterns of self-defeating behavior with new patterns, new habits of the effectiveness, happiness and trust-based relationships.
Keep in mind that you are always saying no to something. If it isn't to the apparent and urgent things in your life, it is probably to the most fundamental, highly important things.
Your ability to get along with others flows naturally from how well you are getting along with yourself from your own internal peace and harmony which is itself a function of your peace and harmony with God and your family.
The greatest and most inspiring mountain climbing achievements in history are not so much stories of individual achievement, but are stories of the extraordinary power of a unified, talented, prepared team that stays loyally committed to one another and to their shared vision to the end.
Perform anonymous service. Whenever we do good for others anonymously, our sense of intrinsic worth and self-respect increases. ... Selfless service has always been one of the most powerful methods of influence.
Actually I did not invent the seven habits, they are universal principles and most of what I wrote about is just common sense. I am embarrassed when people talk about the Covey Habits, and dislike the idea of being some sort of guru.
The key to the ability to change is a changeless sense of who you are, what you are about and what you value.
Happiness can be defined, in part at least, as the fruit of the desire and ability to sacrifice what we want now for what we want eventually.
Perhaps the most important vision of all is develop a sense of self, a sense of your own destiny, a sense of unique mission and role in life.
You can't have the fruits without the roots. It's the principle of sequencing: Private Victories proceed Public Victories. Self-mastery and self-discipline are the foundation of good relationships with others.
Being humble does not mean being weak, reticent, or self-effacing. It means recognizing principle and putting it ahead of self. It means standing firmly for principle, even in the fact of opposition.
We are product of neither nature nor nurture; we are a product of choice, because there is always a space between stimulus and response. As we wisely exercise our power to choose based on principles, the space will become larger.
As human beings, we are responsible for our own lives. Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions. We can subordinate feelings to values.
Trust is the highest form of human motivation.
Trust is the highest form of human motivation. It brings out the very best in people. But it takes time and patience.
The highest challenge inside organizations is to enable each person to contribute his or her unique talents and passion to accomplish the organization's purpose.
The key to creating passion in your life is to find your unique talents, and your special role and purpose in the world.
Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us.
Management is clearly different from leadership. Leadership is primarily a high-powered, right-brain activity. It's more of an art it's based on a philosophy. You have to ask the ultimate questions of life when you're dealing with personal leadership issues.
Almost every significant breakthrough is the result of a courageous break with traditional ways of thinking.
Where you are headed is more important than how fast you are going. Rather than always focusing on what's urgent, learn to focus on what is really important.
Win-win is a belief in the Third Alternative. It's not your way or my way; it's a better way, a higher way.
The principle of fasting is taught in almost all major world religions as a means of developing a higher level of self-mastery and self-control, and also a deeper awareness of how really dependent we are.
The universal elements are integrity, vision, discipline, passion, governed by conscience. Conscience has been educated through studying and pondering the universal, timeless principles of all six major world religions.
When people have a real sense of legacy, a sense of mattering, a sense of contribution, it seems to tap into the deepest part of their heart and soul. It brings out the best and subordinates the rest.
Security represents your sense of worth, your identity, your emotional anchorage, your self-esteem, your basic personal strength or lack of it.
All things are created twice.
All things are created twice, but not all first creations are by conscious design. In our personal lives, if we do not develop our own self-awareness and become responsible for first creations, we empower other people and circumstances outside our Circle of Influence to shape much of our lives by default. We reactively live the scripts handed to us by family, associates, other people's agendas, the pressures of circumstance -- scripts from our earlier years, from our training, our conditioning.
But with the steady disintegration of the family in modern society over the last century, the role of the school in bridging the gap has become vital!
When the external factors over which one has no control in a way start to become negative, it starts to affect our creative juices.
This is the single most powerful investment we can ever make in life--investment in ourselves, in the only instrument we have with which to deal with life and to contribute.
Employees are given the chance to help shape their company by participating in a company-wide communications program making suggestions on waste reduction, environmental improvement, customer satisfaction, quality improvement, and safety issues.
The role of the leader is to foster mutual respect and build a complementary team where each strength is made productive and each weakness irrelevant.
People don't listen to understand. They listen to reply. The collective monologue is everyone talking and no one listening.
Management is formal authority given from above. Leadership is moral authority given from below and all around.
Nevertheless, the only way we can move from where we are now to where we would like to be is to accept where we are now.
When you have a challenge and the response is equal to the challenge, that's called 'success.' But once you have a new challenge, the old, once-successful response no longer works. That's why it is called a 'failure.'
Belief is another word for paradigm. It's a synonymous. Your belief of the way things are. Values are the way things should be, it's a paradigm of the way things should be. Beliefs are the paradigms of the way things are.
All the well-meaning advice in the world won't amount to a hill of beans if we're not even addressing the real problem.
Vital to quality of life is the ability to work together, learn from each other, and help each other grow.
If we spend most of our time concerned about things we cannot truly directly influence, what we can influence will be reduced. If we spend our energies on those things over which we can expect positive results, we will expand our influence.
To begin with the end in mind means to start with a clear understanding of your destination. It means to know where you're going so that you better understand where you are now and so that the steps you take are always in the right direction.
A good affirmation has five basic ingredients: it's personal, it's positive, it's present tense, it's visual, and it's emotional.
Make small commitments and keep them. Be a light, not a judge. Be a model, not a critic. Be a part of the solution, not the problem.
If I were to summarize in one sentence the single most important principle I have learned in the field of interpersonal relations, it would be this: Seek first to understand, then to be understood. This principle is the key to effective interpersonal communication.
I believe that the habit of constant reading of good books and scholarly periodicals and magazines in many disciplines is vital to give a larger perspective and to constantly sense the interdependent nature of life.
When we succumb to believing that we are victims of our circumstances and yield to the plight of determinism, we lose hope, we lose drive, and we settle into resignation and stagnation.
Trust is a function of two things: character and competence. Character includes your integrity, your motive and your intent with people. Competence includes your capabilities, your skills, and your track record. Both are vital.
The leader is the one who climbs the tallest tree, surveys the entire situation, and yells, 'Wrong jungle!' ... Busy, efficient producers and managers often respond ... 'Shut up! We're making progress!'
Satisfied needs do not motivate. It's only the unsatisfied need that motivates. Next to physical survival, the greatest need of a human being is psychological survival -- to be understood, to be affirmed, to be validated, to be appreciated.
We must not let the actions or words of others determine our responses. Magnanimous people make the choice to respond to the indignities of others based upon their own principles and their own value system rather than their moods or anger.
There are principles that govern human effectiveness -- natural laws in the human dimension that are just as real, just as unchanging and unarguably there as laws such as gravity are in the physical dimension.
How many on their deathbeds wished they'd spent more time at the office -- or watching TV? The answer is, No one.
In effective personal leadership, visualization and affirmation techniques emerge naturally out of a foundation of well thought through purposes and principles that become the center of a person's life.
When a person has access to both the intuitive, creative and visual right brain, and the analytical, logical, verbal left brain, then the whole brain is working...And this tool is best suited to the reality of what life is, because life is not just logical-it is also emotional.
I am fortunate to have a very helpful team that enables me to spend time doing things that are important but not necessarily urgent. People who have no such team need to also make these larger decisions so that they can cheerfully say No to that which is urgent but not important.
Most learning is social, or what I call the cultural DNA. Everyone knows that word of mouth advertising is the best advertising. That's social learning.
People are social beings and want interaction and social learning is the primary form of learning, just as word of mouth advertising is the highest form of advertising.
An empowering mission statement has to become a living document, part of our very nature, so that the criteria we've put into it are also in us, in the way we live our lives day by day.
One of the most important ways to manifest integrity is to be loyal to those who are not present. In doing so, we build the trust of those who are present.
Most people say their main fault is a lack of discipline. On deeper thought, I believe this is not the case. The basic problem is that their priorities have not become deeply planted in their hearts and minds.
If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster.
We're often so busy cutting through the undergrowth we don't even realise we're in the wrong jungle.
If the only vision we have of ourselves comes from the social mirror -- from the current social paradigm and from the opinions, perceptions, and paradigms of the people around us -- our view of ourselves is like the reflection in a crazy mirror room at the carnival.
If you focus on principles, you empower everyone who understands those principles to act without constant monitoring, evaluating, correcting, or controlling.
Anything less than a conscious commitment to the important is an unconscious commitment to the unimportant.
Opposition is a natural part of life. Just as we develop our physical muscles through overcoming opposition -- such as lifting weights -- we develop our character muscles by overcoming challenges and adversity.
Whenever you experience stress of any kind, look into yourself and ask, In what way am I compromising my innermost values in this situation?
Peace of mind comes when your life is in harmony with true principles and values and in no other way.
We hear a lot about identity theft when someone takes your wallet and pretends to be you and uses your credit cards. But the more serious identity theft is to get swallowed up in other people's definition of you.
Wisdom is your perspective on life, your sense of balance, your understanding of how the various parts and principles apply and relate to each other.
The first principle of ethical power is Purpose. By purpose, I don't mean your objective or intention-something toward which you are always striving. Purpose is something bigger. It is the picture you have of yourself-the kind of person you want to be or the kind of life you want to lead.
We see the world, not as it is, but as we are──or, as we are conditioned to see it.
We see the world, not as it is, but as we are -- or, as we are conditioned to see it. When we open our mouths to describe what we see, we in effect describe ourselves, our perceptions, our paradigms.
Strategy is important, but trust is the hidden variable. On paper you can have clarity around your objectives, but in a low-trust environment, your strategy won't be executed.
Trust is the one thing that affects everything else you're doing. It's a performance multiplier which takes your trajectory upwards, for every activity you engage in, from strategy to execution.
The character ethic, which I believe to be the foundation of success, teaches that there are basic principles of effective living, and that people can only experience true success and enduring happiness as they learn and integrate these principles into their basic character.
The commitments we make to ourselves and to others, and our integrity to those commitments, is the essence and clearest manifestation of our proactivity.
The person who is truly effective has the humility and reverence to recognize his own perceptual limitations and to appreciate the rich resources available through interaction with the hearts and minds of other human beings.
Our character is basically a composite of our habits.
Our character is basically a composite of our habits. Because they are consistent, often unconcious patterns, they constantly, daily, express our character.
You can buy a person's hands but you can't buy his heart.
You can buy a person's hand, but you can't buy their heart. His heart is where his enthusiasm, his loyalty is. You can buy his back, but you can't buy his brain. That's where his creativity is, his ingenuity, his his resourcefulness.
It takes a great deal of character strength to apologize quickly out of one's heart rather than out of pity.
It takes a great deal of character strength to apologize quickly out of one's heart rather than out of pity. A person must possess himself and have a deep sense of security in fundamental principles and values in order to genuinely apologize.
The solutions to our problems are and always will be based upon universal, timeless, self-evident principles common to every enduring, prospering society throughout history.
In school, many of us procrastinate and then successfully cram for tests. We get the grades and degrees we need to get the jobs we want, even if we fail to get a good general education.
Studies have identified a significant 'skills gap' between what students are currently being taught and the skills employers are seeking in today's global economy. Our children must be better prepared than they are now to meet the future challenges of our ever-changing world.
How can you possibly reconcile the justice of God with the idea that only through Christ can you be saved? Most of the world lives and dies and never even hears of Christ. There has to be some mechanism set up for all those who have ever lived to have an opportunity to hear of Christ.
The more people rationalize cheating, the more it becomes a culture of dishonesty. And that can become a vicious, downward cycle. Because suddenly, if everyone else is cheating, you feel a need to cheat, too.
We are the creative force of our life, and through our own decisions rather than our conditions, if we carefully learn to do certain things, we can accomplish those goals.
The challenge of work-life balance is without question one of the most significant struggles faced by modern man.
You're not a product of your nature. That is your genetic makeup or your nurture, the things that have happened to you. Of course those things affect you powerfully, but they do not determine you.
There is a heavy emphasis in Mormonism on initiative, on responsibility, on a work ethic, and on education. If you take those elements together with a free-enterprise system, you've got the chemistry for a lot of industry.
Reactive people... are often affected by their physical environment. They find external sources to blame for their behavior.
Remember, we are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.
Some habits of ineffectiveness are rooted in our social conditioning toward quick-fix, short-term thinking.
Synergy is what happens when one plus one equals ten or a hundred or even a thousand! It's the profound result when two or more respectful human beings determine to go beyond their preconceived ideas to meet a great challenge.
There's strong data that, within companies, the No. 1 reason for ethical violations is the pressure to meet expectations, sometimes unrealistic expectations.
Historically, the family has played the primary role in educating children for life, with the school providing supplemental scaffolding to the family.
Employers and business leaders need people who can think for themselves -- who can take initiative and be the solution to problems.
Instead, I have an abundance mentality: When people are genuinely happy at the successes of others, the pie gets larger.
When it comes to developing character strength, inner security and unique personal and interpersonal talents and skills in a child, no institution can or ever will compare with, or effectively substitute for, the home's potential for positive influence.
Every human has four endowments -- self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom... The power to choose, to respond, to change.
A cardinal principle of Total Quality escapes too many managers: you cannot continuously improve interdependent systems and processes until you progressively perfect interdependent, interpersonal relationships.
It's a fact that more people watch television and get their information that way than read books. I find new technology and new ways of communication very exciting and would like to do more in this field.
When one side benefits more than the other, that's a win-lose situation. To the winner it might look like success for a while, but in the long run, it breeds resentment and distrust.
Trust is the glue of life. It's the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It's the foundational principle that holds all relationships.
When you show deep empathy toward others, their defensive energy goes down, and positive energy replaces it. That's when you can get more creative in solving problems.
Management is efficiency in climbing the ladder of success; leadership determines whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall.