photo of Terry PratchettPhoto Credit: WikiMedia Commons

Welcome to our collection of quotes (with shareable picture quotes) by Terry Pratchett. We hope you enjoy pondering them and that you will share them widely.

Wikipedia Summary for Terry Pratchett

Sir Terence David John Pratchett (28 April 1948 – 12 March 2015) was an English humorist, satirist, and author of fantasy novels, especially comical works. He is best known for his Discworld series of 41 novels.

Pratchett's first novel, The Carpet People, was published in 1971. The first Discworld novel, The Colour of Magic, was published in 1983, after which Pratchett wrote an average of two books a year. The final Discworld novel, The Shepherd's Crown, was published in August 2015, five months after his death.

Pratchett, with more than 85 million books sold worldwide in 37 languages, was the UK's best-selling author of the 1990s. He was appointed Officer of the Order of the British Empire (OBE) in 1998 and was knighted for services to literature in the 2009 New Year Honours. In 2001 he won the annual Carnegie Medal for The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents, the first Discworld book marketed for children. He received the World Fantasy Award for Life Achievement in 2010.

In December 2007, Pratchett announced that he had been diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's disease. He later made a substantial public donation to the Alzheimer's Research Trust, filmed a television programme chronicling his experiences with the condition for the BBC, and became a patron for Alzheimer's Research UK. Pratchett died on 12 March 2015, aged 66.

photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Demons were like genies or philosophy professors if you didn't word things exactly right, they delighted in giving you absolutely accurate and completely misleading answers.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Escapism isn't good or bad in itself. What is important is what you are escaping from and where you are escaping to.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

But what's worth more than gold? Practically everything. You, for example. Gold is heavy. Your weight in gold is not very much gold at all. Aren't you worth more than that?

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Hello, inner child, I'm the inner babysitter.

--Terry Pratchett

Longer Version:

Hello, inner child, I'm the inner babysitter!


photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

You get a wonderful view from the point of no return.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Building a temple didn't mean you believed in gods, it just meant you believed in architecture.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

A woman always has half an onion left over, no matter what the size of the onion, the dish or the woman.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Look, the life of gnomes and goblins is nasty, brutish and short. So are they.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

People are often so busy living that they never stop to wonder why.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Little crimes breed big crimes. You smile at little crimes and then big crimes blow your head off.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Where there is personality, there is discord.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Mort... had about the same talent for horticulture that you would find in a dead starfish.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

I don't think about the end game. I've got lots to occupy my mind. It's the rage that keeps me going.

--Terry Pratchett

photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Insanity is catching.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

From the trees around the clearing the snakes and birds watched silently. In the swamp the alligators drifted like patches of bad-assed water.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Sin, young man, is when you treat people like things. Including yourself. That's what sin is.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

He said that there was death and taxes, and taxes was worse, because at least death didn't happen to you every year.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

And Unseen University took tradition very seriously, at least when it remembered to.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

You can never have too much backup.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Granny Weatherwax believes the world is all about stories. Oh well, we all have our funny little ways. Except me, obviously.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

No normal sheet of paper could possibly trace their family tree, which in any case was more like a mangrove thicket.

--Terry Pratchett

photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

High magic requires a great clarity of thought, you see, and women's talents do not lie in that direction. Their brains tend to overheat.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

In defiance of Miss Maccalariat I'd like to commit hanky-panky with you, Miss Adora Belle Dearheart... well, certainly hanky, and possibly panky when we get to know one another better.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Like any sensible witch, she wore strong boots that could march through anything--good, sensible boots.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

It's not Brits who think American readers are a bunch of whinging morons with the geo-social understanding of a wire coathanger, it's American editors.

--Terry Pratchett

photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

You Say To People 'Throw Off Your Chains' And They Make New Chains For Themselves?

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Brighten up the world like a little sunbeam.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

That was the very centre of his genius -- he invented things that anyone could have thought of, and men who can invent things that anyone could have thought of are very rare men.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

It struck Mort with sudden, terrible poignancy that Death must be the loneliest creature in the universe. In the great party of Creation, he was always in the kitchen.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

You don't have to chase around after creatures, Pismire had said.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

I may be daft but I'm no' stupid!

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

If you were going to be successful in the world of crime, you needed a reputation for honesty.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

A push-and-go wooden duck on wheels can cause quite a lot of damage if wielded with enough force.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Death stripes away many things, especially when it arrives at a temperature hot enough to vaporize iron ... The immortal remains of Brother Watchtower watched the dragon flap away into the fog ..

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Gods play games with the fates of men. But first they have to get all the pieces on the board and look all over the place for the dice.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

A man could be dogmatic, and that was all right, or he could be stupid, and no harm done, but stupid and dogmatic at the same time was too much, especially fluxed with body odor.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Drunkenness had this to be said for it, it stopped the flow of inspirations.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

When Reacher Gilt talks about freedom, he means his, not anyone else's.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Well, he thought, so this is diplomacy. It's lying, only for a better class of people.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

You know I've never agreed with baths. Sittin' around in your own dirt like that.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Money makes people rich; it is a fallacy to think it makes them better, or even that it makes them worse. People are what they do, and what they leave behind.

--Terry Pratchett

photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Sometimes I really think people ought to have to pass a proper exam before they're allowed to be parents. Not just the practical, I mean.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Of course fantasy is escapist. Most stories are. So what? Teachers are not meant to be jailers.

--Terry Pratchett

photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Things that try to look like things often do look more like things than things.

--Terry Pratchett

photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Filling what's empty and emptying what's full.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Geography is just physics slowed down, with a couple of trees stuck in it.

--Terry Pratchett

photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

After all, if you can't trust governments, whom can you trust?

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

You're just as dead if you fall from forty feet as you are from four thousand fathoms, that's what I say.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

I'm referred to, I see, as 'the biggest banker in modern publishing'. Now there's a line that needed the celebrated Guardian proof-reading.

--Terry Pratchett


photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Granny was an old-fashioned witch. She didn't do good for people, she did right by them.

--Terry Pratchett

photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

You couldn't escape the pointy hat, though. There was nothing magical about a pointy hat except that it said that the woman underneath it was a witch. People paid attention to a pointy hat.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

It wasn't the wearing of the hat that counted so much as having one to wear. Every trade, every craft had its hat.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

There was no safety. There was no pride. All there was, was money. Everything became money, and money became everything. Money treated us as if we were things, and we died.

--Terry Pratchett

photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Even our fears make us feel important, because we fear we might not be.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Everywhere I look, I see something holy.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

There are no inconsistencies in the Discworld books; ocassionally, however, there are alternate pasts.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Most horses don't walk backwards voluntarily, because what they can't see doesn't exist.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Thats how we survive infinity -- we kill it by breaking it up into small bits.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

People listened to Hamnpork because he was the leader, but they listened to Darktan because he was often telling you things that you really, really needed to know if you wanted to go on living.

--Terry Pratchett

photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

He had done regular live concerts from San Quentin jail until the civil rights people got him under the Cruel and Unusual Punishment clause.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Falling isn't so bad, you know. It's only the landing that hurts.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

The commander went, as they say in Ankh-Morpork, totally Librarian on them.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

You get all sorts of people in the library, and the librarian gets it all.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

We live in a science fiction universe. We have done for a long time.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Of course, just because we've heard a spine-chilling, blood-curdling scream of the sort to make your very marrow freeze in your bones doesn't automatically mean there's anything wrong.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Ankh-Morpork, the melting pot of the world, which occasionally runs foul of lumps that don't melt.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Big fat hairy monkey, hands a couple of octaves wide?

--Terry Pratchett

photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Responsibilities are the anvil on which a man is forged.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Moist groaned. It was the crack of seven and he was allergic to the concept of two seven o'clocks in one day.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

You're saying,' he said, weighing each word, 'that we should send Carrot away to be a duck among humans because Bjorn Stronginthearm is my uncle.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

A metaphor is a kind o' lie to help people understand what's true.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Ye know full well that the meaning of life is to find your gift. To find your gift is happiness. Never tae find it is misery.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

If, somewhere, any possible world can exist, then somewhere there is any letter that could possibly be written. Somewhere, all those checks really were in the mail.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

New things, new ideas arrived and strutted their stuff and were vilified by some and then lo! that which had been a monster was suddenly totally important to the world.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Don't stick your nose where someone can pull it off and eat it.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

The headlines screamed at him as soon as he saw the paper. He almost screamed back.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

There is no doubt that being human is incredibly difficult and cannot be mastered in one lifetime.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Omens are everywhere in this world you just have to find the one that fits.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Letitia! What a name. Halfway between a salad and a sneeze.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

When Geoffrey's not anxious, he radiates calmness, which probably means he sees more things and finds more things than other people do. It makes him open to new things too.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

The remainder of the opera passed without anyone dying, except where the score required them to do so at some length.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

If music were the food of love, she was game for a sonata and chips at any time.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Some people think this is paranoia, but it isn't. Paranoids only think everyone is out to get them. Wizards know it.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

We're better'n them all right. We jus' don't always win.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

It's very rare that I ever go and research a particular subject. Mostly I do serendipitous research, I read stuff, things spinning out of the page.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Vimes leaned back. 'Don't try to put me at my ease, Miss von Humpeding,' he said. 'It makes me nervous when people do that. It's not as though I have any ease to be put at.

--Terry Pratchett
photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

I do not in fact use many puns. Certainly there are far fewer than people believe. But I suspect the ones I do occasionally use tend to hang around in people's memories for a while.

--Terry Pratchett

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