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Quotes by Terry Pratchett (Page 3 of 4)

Quote: I imagine that fish have no word for water. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

I imagine that fish have no word for water.


Quote: When you can flatten entire cities at a whim, a tendency towards quiet reflection and seeing-things-from-the-other-fellow's-point- of-view is seldom necessary. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

When you can flatten entire cities at a whim, a tendency towards quiet reflection and seeing-things-from-the-other-fellow's-point- of-view is seldom necessary.


Quote: Bishops move diagonally. That's why they often turn up where the kings don't expect them to be. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Bishops move diagonally. That's why they often turn up where the kings don't expect them to be.


Quote: Pets are always a great help in times of stress. And in times of starvation too, o'course. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Pets are always a great help in times of stress. And in times of starvation too, o'course.


Quote: You can't inspire people with facts. They need a cause. They need a symbol. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

You can't inspire people with facts. They need a cause. They need a symbol.


Quote: The figures looked more or less human. And they were engaged in religion. You could tell by the knives (it's not murder if you do it for a god). by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

The figures looked more or less human. And they were engaged in religion. You could tell by the knives (it's not murder if you do it for a god).


Quote: I like the idea of democracy. You have to have someone everyone distrusts. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

I like the idea of democracy. You have to have someone everyone distrusts.


Quote: Guilt was the grease in which the wheels of the authority turned. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Guilt was the grease in which the wheels of the authority turned.


Quote: I'm interested in mythology generally, but India has no special place in my heart -- although Hindu gods seem a lot more fun. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

I'm interested in mythology generally, but India has no special place in my heart -- although Hindu gods seem a lot more fun.


Quote: It's not lying when you do it to officers! by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

It's not lying when you do it to officers!


Quote: You've got a lot of time for abstract thought when you've got your hand stuck up a dead badger. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

You've got a lot of time for abstract thought when you've got your hand stuck up a dead badger.


Quote: People think that stories are shaped by people. In fact, it's the other way around. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

People think that stories are shaped by people. In fact, it's the other way around.


Quote: Child. That was a terrible thing to say to anyone who was almost thirteen. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Child. That was a terrible thing to say to anyone who was almost thirteen.


Quote: I mistrust the term graphic novel because it sounds like a good thing to put on a tee-shirt. That's why the French like them. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

I mistrust the term graphic novel because it sounds like a good thing to put on a tee-shirt. That's why the French like them.


Quote: The thief, as will become apparent, was a special type of thief. This thief was an artist of theft. Other thieves merely stole everything that was not nailed down, but this thief stole the nails as well. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

The thief, as will become apparent, was a special type of thief. This thief was an artist of theft. Other thieves merely stole everything that was not nailed down, but this thief stole the nails as well.


Quote: The people who really run organizations are usually found several levels down, where it is still possible to get things done. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

The people who really run organizations are usually found several levels down, where it is still possible to get things done.


Quote: It's always surprising to be reminded that while you're watching and thinking about people, all knowing and superior, they're watching and thinking about you, right back at you. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

It's always surprising to be reminded that while you're watching and thinking about people, all knowing and superior, they're watching and thinking about you, right back at you.


Quote: Then there is the dress. It has been owned by many sisters as well and has been taken up, taken out, taken down, and taken in by her mother so many times that it really ought to have been taken away. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Then there is the dress. It has been owned by many sisters as well and has been taken up, taken out, taken down, and taken in by her mother so many times that it really ought to have been taken away.


Quote: Or there will be a reckoning! by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Or there will be a reckoning!


Quote: That's Third Thoughts for you. When a huge rock is going to land on your head, they're the thoughts that think: Is that an igneous rock, such as granite, or is it sandstone? by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

That's Third Thoughts for you. When a huge rock is going to land on your head, they're the thoughts that think: Is that an igneous rock, such as granite, or is it sandstone?


Quote: I should have learned this, she thought. I wanted to learn fire, and pain, but I should have learned people. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

I should have learned this, she thought. I wanted to learn fire, and pain, but I should have learned people.


Quote: Time and space were, from Death's point of view, merely things that he'd heard described. When it came to Death, they ticked the box marked Not Applicable. It might help to think of the universe as a rubber sheet, or perhaps not. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Time and space were, from Death's point of view, merely things that he'd heard described. When it came to Death, they ticked the box marked Not Applicable. It might help to think of the universe as a rubber sheet, or perhaps not.


Quote: They looked at one another in incomprehension, two minds driving opposite ways up a narrow street and waiting for the other man to reverse first. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

They looked at one another in incomprehension, two minds driving opposite ways up a narrow street and waiting for the other man to reverse first.


Quote: Mr Lipwig, there's a lady in the hall to see you and we've thanked her for not smoking three times and she's still doing it! by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Mr Lipwig, there's a lady in the hall to see you and we've thanked her for not smoking three times and she's still doing it!


Quote: I discovered fantasy and science fiction when I was about 10, and read nothing else for about three years. I ran out of all the books that there were to read in the library. I was keen on reading stuff that took me to other places. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

I discovered fantasy and science fiction when I was about 10, and read nothing else for about three years. I ran out of all the books that there were to read in the library. I was keen on reading stuff that took me to other places.


Quote: The only really sane person in there is Igor, and possibly the turnip. And I'm not sure about the turnip. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

The only really sane person in there is Igor, and possibly the turnip. And I'm not sure about the turnip.


Quote: You were the kind of kid who couldn't see the difference between throwing rocks at a cat and setting it on fire. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

You were the kind of kid who couldn't see the difference between throwing rocks at a cat and setting it on fire.


Quote: Racism was not a problem on the Discworld, because -- what with trolls and dwarfs and so on -- speciesism was more interesting. Black and white lived in perfect harmony and ganged up on green. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Racism was not a problem on the Discworld, because -- what with trolls and dwarfs and so on -- speciesism was more interesting. Black and white lived in perfect harmony and ganged up on green.


Quote: I became a journalist at 17. A few hours later, I saw my first dead body, which was somewhat... colourful. That's when I learned you can go on throwing up after you run out of things to throw up. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

I became a journalist at 17. A few hours later, I saw my first dead body, which was somewhat... colourful. That's when I learned you can go on throwing up after you run out of things to throw up.


Quote: He helped the Librarian up. There was a red glow in the ape's eyes. It had tried to steal his books. This was probably the best proof any wizard could require that the trolleys were brainless. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

He helped the Librarian up. There was a red glow in the ape's eyes. It had tried to steal his books. This was probably the best proof any wizard could require that the trolleys were brainless.


Quote: And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head.


Quote: I ushered souls into the next world. I was the grave of all hope. I was the ultimate reality. I was the assassin against whom no lock would hold. -- Yes, point taken, but do you have any particular skills? by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

I ushered souls into the next world. I was the grave of all hope. I was the ultimate reality. I was the assassin against whom no lock would hold. -- Yes, point taken, but do you have any particular skills?


Quote: You are very clever, said the old man shyly. I would like to eat your brains, one day. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

You are very clever, said the old man shyly. I would like to eat your brains, one day.

Longer Version/[Notes]:

You are very clever,' said the old man shyly. 'I would like to eat your brains, one day,' For some reason the books of etiquette that Daphne's grandmother had forced on her didn't quite deal with this. Of course, silly people would say to babies, 'You're so sweet I could gobble you all up!', but that sort of nonsense seemed less funny when it was said by a man in war paint who owned more than one skull. Daphne, cursed with good manners, settled for, 'It's very kind of you to say so.


Quote: Although she was aware that somewhere under her complicated strata of vests and petticoats there was some skin, that didn't mean to say she approved of it. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Although she was aware that somewhere under her complicated strata of vests and petticoats there was some skin, that didn't mean to say she approved of it.


Quote: Biers was where the undead drank. And when Igor the barman was asked for a Bloody Mary, he didn't mix a metaphor. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Biers was where the undead drank. And when Igor the barman was asked for a Bloody Mary, he didn't mix a metaphor.


Quote: One of my predecessors used to have people torn to death by wild tortoises. It was not a quick death. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

One of my predecessors used to have people torn to death by wild tortoises. It was not a quick death.


Quote: I have to ask, sir...Why does it have to be done like this?
Vetinari smiled. Can you keep a secret, Mister Lipwig?
Oh, yes, sir. I've kept lots.
Capital. And the point is, so can I. You do not need to know. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

I have to ask, sir...Why does it have to be done like this?
Vetinari smiled. Can you keep a secret, Mister Lipwig?
Oh, yes, sir. I've kept lots.
Capital. And the point is, so can I. You do not need to know.


Quote: We can't just drop everything, sir!
Mister Lipwig. Is there something in the word 'tyrant' you do not understand? by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

We can't just drop everything, sir!
Mister Lipwig. Is there something in the word 'tyrant' you do not understand?


Quote: I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are good people and bad people. You're wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are good people and bad people. You're wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides.


Quote: If I were you, I'd sue my face for slander. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

If I were you, I'd sue my face for slander.


Quote: Some pirates achieved immortality by great deeds of cruelty or derring-do. Some achieved immortality by amassing great wealth. But the captain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer to achieve immortality by not dying. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Some pirates achieved immortality by great deeds of cruelty or derring-do. Some achieved immortality by amassing great wealth. But the captain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.


Quote: You had to hand it to the Patrician, he admitted grudgingly. If you didn't, he sent men to come and take it away. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

You had to hand it to the Patrician, he admitted grudgingly. If you didn't, he sent men to come and take it away.


Quote: 'Peace?' said Vetinari. 'Ah, yes, defined as period of time to allow for preparation for the next war.' by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

'Peace?' said Vetinari. 'Ah, yes, defined as period of time to allow for preparation for the next war.'


Quote: I must confess the activities of the UK governments for the past couple of years have been watched with frank admiration and amazement by Lord Vetinari. Outright theft as a policy had never occurred to him. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

I must confess the activities of the UK governments for the past couple of years have been watched with frank admiration and amazement by Lord Vetinari. Outright theft as a policy had never occurred to him.


Quote: Never build a dungeon you wouldn't be happy to spend the night in yourself. The world would be a happier place if more people remembered that. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Never build a dungeon you wouldn't be happy to spend the night in yourself. The world would be a happier place if more people remembered that.


Quote: Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was the Man; he had the Vote. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was the Man; he had the Vote.


Quote: I think that sick people in Ankh-Morpork generally go to a vet. It's generally a better bet. There's more pressure on a vet to get it right. People say it was god's will when granny dies, but they get angry when they lose a cow. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

I think that sick people in Ankh-Morpork generally go to a vet. It's generally a better bet. There's more pressure on a vet to get it right. People say it was god's will when granny dies, but they get angry when they lose a cow.


Quote: You'll see! We're going to the palace. Fetch Angua. We might need her. And bring the search warrant. You mean the sledgehammer, sir? Yes. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

You'll see! We're going to the palace. Fetch Angua. We might need her. And bring the search warrant. You mean the sledgehammer, sir? Yes.


Quote: Ordinary fortune-tellers tell you what you want to happen; witches tell you what's going to happen whether you want it to or not. Strangely enough, witches tend to be more accurate but less popular. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Ordinary fortune-tellers tell you what you want to happen; witches tell you what's going to happen whether you want it to or not. Strangely enough, witches tend to be more accurate but less popular.


Quote: It was like ... like wizardry, but without the wizards and the mess. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

It was like ... like wizardry, but without the wizards and the mess.


Quote: And our lady friend, she thinks life works like a fairy tale.' Well, that's harmless, isn't it?' Yeah, but in fairy tales, when someone dies... it's just a word. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

And our lady friend, she thinks life works like a fairy tale.' Well, that's harmless, isn't it?' Yeah, but in fairy tales, when someone dies... it's just a word.


Quote: Why bother with a cunning plan when a simple one will do? by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Why bother with a cunning plan when a simple one will do?


Quote: Someone out there was about to find that their worst nightmare was a maddened Librarian. With a badge. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Someone out there was about to find that their worst nightmare was a maddened Librarian. With a badge.


Quote: It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive; you could get death for free. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive; you could get death for free.


Quote: As far as I'm concerned, I'm a writer who's writing books, and therefore, I don't want to die. You'd miss the end of the book, wouldn't you? You can't die with an unfinished book. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

As far as I'm concerned, I'm a writer who's writing books, and therefore, I don't want to die. You'd miss the end of the book, wouldn't you? You can't die with an unfinished book.


Quote: Look, he said to his imagination, if this is how you're going to behave, I shan't bring you again. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Look, he said to his imagination, if this is how you're going to behave, I shan't bring you again.


Quote: He had about the same life expectancy as a three legged hedgehog on a six lane motorway. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

He had about the same life expectancy as a three legged hedgehog on a six lane motorway.


Quote: You can't find a hermit to teach you herming, because of course that rather spoils the whole thing. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

You can't find a hermit to teach you herming, because of course that rather spoils the whole thing.


Quote: The conversation of human beings seldom interested him, but it crossed his mind that the males and females always got along best when neither actually listened fully to what the other one was saying. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

The conversation of human beings seldom interested him, but it crossed his mind that the males and females always got along best when neither actually listened fully to what the other one was saying.


Quote: Most armies are in fact run by their sergeants -- the officers are there just to give things a bit of tone and prevent warfare becoming a mere lower-class brawl. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Most armies are in fact run by their sergeants -- the officers are there just to give things a bit of tone and prevent warfare becoming a mere lower-class brawl.


Quote: If he was going to be boiled for a lamb, then he might as well be roasted for a sheep. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

If he was going to be boiled for a lamb, then he might as well be roasted for a sheep.


Quote: What a mess the world was in, Vimes reflected. Constable Visit had told him the meek would inherit it, and what had the poor devils done to deserve that? by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

What a mess the world was in, Vimes reflected. Constable Visit had told him the meek would inherit it, and what had the poor devils done to deserve that?


Quote: Did I do anything last night that suggested I was sane? by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Did I do anything last night that suggested I was sane?


Quote: Last night there seemed to be a chance. Anything was possible last night. That was the trouble with last nights. They were always followed by this mornings. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Last night there seemed to be a chance. Anything was possible last night. That was the trouble with last nights. They were always followed by this mornings.


Quote: In theory it was, around now, Literature. Susan hated Literature. She'd much prefer to read a good book. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

In theory it was, around now, Literature. Susan hated Literature. She'd much prefer to read a good book.


Quote: In order to have a change of fortune at the last minute, you have to take your fortune to the last minute. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

In order to have a change of fortune at the last minute, you have to take your fortune to the last minute.


Quote: There is always time for another last minute. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

There is always time for another last minute.


Quote: Gods, it felt good. Hot water was civilization. Vimes could feel the stiffness in his muscles melting away in the warmth. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Gods, it felt good. Hot water was civilization. Vimes could feel the stiffness in his muscles melting away in the warmth.


Quote: Actors, said Granny, witheringly. As if the world weren't full of enough history without inventing more. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Actors, said Granny, witheringly. As if the world weren't full of enough history without inventing more.


Quote: Mr. False! No, don't start grabbing the chickens! Better off farmer with no chickens than a load of chickens with no farmer! Anyway, they'll probably float, or fly, or something! by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Mr. False! No, don't start grabbing the chickens! Better off farmer with no chickens than a load of chickens with no farmer! Anyway, they'll probably float, or fly, or something!


Quote: Many feel they are called to the priesthood, but what they really hear is an inner voice saying, 'It's indoor work with no heavy lifting, do you want to be a ploughman like your father?' by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Many feel they are called to the priesthood, but what they really hear is an inner voice saying, 'It's indoor work with no heavy lifting, do you want to be a ploughman like your father?'


Quote: Mister Teatime had a truly brilliant mind, but it was brilliant like a fractured mirror, all marvellous facets and rainbows but, ultimately, also something that was broken. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Mister Teatime had a truly brilliant mind, but it was brilliant like a fractured mirror, all marvellous facets and rainbows but, ultimately, also something that was broken.


Quote: It doesn't matter if dragons are flying overhead or whatever -- a lot of Victoriana is still cut in the frame of fantasy. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

It doesn't matter if dragons are flying overhead or whatever -- a lot of Victoriana is still cut in the frame of fantasy.


Quote: All Fungi are edible. 
Some fungi are only edible once. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

All Fungi are edible.
Some fungi are only edible once.


Quote: Whole new theories of money were growing here like mushrooms: in the dark and based on bullshit. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Whole new theories of money were growing here like mushrooms: in the dark and based on bullshit.


Quote: Oh, come on. Revelation was a mushroom dream that belonged in the Apocrypha. The New Testament is basically about what happened when God got religion. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Oh, come on. Revelation was a mushroom dream that belonged in the Apocrypha. The New Testament is basically about what happened when God got religion.


Quote: You will have to look a long way before you find a bunch of scum-suckers more greedy, humourless and deserving of death than the suits in the music business. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

You will have to look a long way before you find a bunch of scum-suckers more greedy, humourless and deserving of death than the suits in the music business.


Quote: If failure had no penalty success would not be a prize. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

If failure had no penalty success would not be a prize.


Quote: Vimes stalked gloomily through the crowded streets, feeling like the only pickled onion in a fruit salad. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Vimes stalked gloomily through the crowded streets, feeling like the only pickled onion in a fruit salad.


Quote: One of the highlights of the first Good Omens tour was Neil and I walking through New York singing Shoehorn with Teeth. Well, we'd had a good breakfast. And you don't get mugged, either. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

One of the highlights of the first Good Omens tour was Neil and I walking through New York singing Shoehorn with Teeth. Well, we'd had a good breakfast. And you don't get mugged, either.


Quote: And never resist a perfect moment. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

And never resist a perfect moment.


Quote: Plot exposition that can be gently wound out by the authorial voice and internal monologue of a character in the length of a page has to be delivered in a matter of seconds on the stage. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Plot exposition that can be gently wound out by the authorial voice and internal monologue of a character in the length of a page has to be delivered in a matter of seconds on the stage.


Quote: Insofar as he'd formed any opinion of her, it was that she suffered from misplaced gentility and the mistaken belief that etiquette meant good breeding. She mistook mannerisms for manners. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Insofar as he'd formed any opinion of her, it was that she suffered from misplaced gentility and the mistaken belief that etiquette meant good breeding. She mistook mannerisms for manners.


Quote: I do note with interest that old women in my books become young women on the covers... this is discrimination against the chronologically gifted. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

I do note with interest that old women in my books become young women on the covers... this is discrimination against the chronologically gifted.


Quote: It was quite impossible to describe. Here is what it looked like. It looked like a piano sounds shortly after being dropped down a well. It tasted yellow, and it felt Paisley. It smelled like the total eclipse of the moon. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

It was quite impossible to describe. Here is what it looked like. It looked like a piano sounds shortly after being dropped down a well. It tasted yellow, and it felt Paisley. It smelled like the total eclipse of the moon.


Quote: Probably the last man who knew how it worked had been tortured to death years before. Or as soon as it was installed. Killing the creator was a traditional method of patent-protection. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Probably the last man who knew how it worked had been tortured to death years before. Or as soon as it was installed. Killing the creator was a traditional method of patent-protection.


Quote: You take a bunch of people who don't seem any different from you and me, but when you add them all together you get this sort of huge raving maniac with national borders and an anthem. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

You take a bunch of people who don't seem any different from you and me, but when you add them all together you get this sort of huge raving maniac with national borders and an anthem.


Quote: Sometimes the moon is light and sometimes it's in shadow, but you should always remember it's the same moon. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Sometimes the moon is light and sometimes it's in shadow, but you should always remember it's the same moon.


Quote: He's out of his depth on a wet pavement. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

He's out of his depth on a wet pavement.


Quote: So much paperwork to read! So much paperwork to push away! So much paperwork to pretend he hadn't received and that might have been eaten by gargoyles. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

So much paperwork to read! So much paperwork to push away! So much paperwork to pretend he hadn't received and that might have been eaten by gargoyles.


Quote: Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.


Quote: I'm up to my neck in the real world, every day. Just you try doing your VAT return with a head full of goblins. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

I'm up to my neck in the real world, every day. Just you try doing your VAT return with a head full of goblins.


Quote: What can the harvest hope for, if not for the care of the Reaper Man? by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

What can the harvest hope for, if not for the care of the Reaper Man?


Quote: How can anyone trust scientists? If new evidence comes along, they change their minds. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

How can anyone trust scientists? If new evidence comes along, they change their minds.


Quote: What're quantum mechanics?
I don't know. People who repair quantums, I suppose. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

What're quantum mechanics?
I don't know. People who repair quantums, I suppose.


Quote: The proliferation of luminous fungi or iridescent crystals in deep caves where the torchlessly improvident hero needs to see is one of the most obvious intrusions of narrative causality into the physical universe. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

The proliferation of luminous fungi or iridescent crystals in deep caves where the torchlessly improvident hero needs to see is one of the most obvious intrusions of narrative causality into the physical universe.


Quote: William wondered why he always disliked people who said 'no offense meant.' Maybe it was because they found it easier to to say 'no offense meant' than actually to refrain from giving offense. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

William wondered why he always disliked people who said 'no offense meant.' Maybe it was because they found it easier to to say 'no offense meant' than actually to refrain from giving offense.


Quote: The most important thing was that time had passed, pouring thousands of soothing seconds across the island. People need time to deal with the now before it runs away and becomes the then. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

The most important thing was that time had passed, pouring thousands of soothing seconds across the island. People need time to deal with the now before it runs away and becomes the then.


Quote: Let grammar, punctuation, and spelling into your life! Even the most energetic and wonderful mess has to be turned into sentences. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Let grammar, punctuation, and spelling into your life! Even the most energetic and wonderful mess has to be turned into sentences.


Quote: But that was just it -- hate was exactly the right word. Hate is a force of attraction. Hate is just love with its back turned. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

But that was just it -- hate was exactly the right word. Hate is a force of attraction. Hate is just love with its back turned.


Quote: Rumour is information distilled so finely that it can filter through anything. It does not need doors and windows -- sometimes it does not need people. It can exist free and wild, running from ear to ear without ever touching lips. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Rumour is information distilled so finely that it can filter through anything. It does not need doors and windows -- sometimes it does not need people. It can exist free and wild, running from ear to ear without ever touching lips.


Quote: Stop stealing the funeral meats right now, you wee scuggers! She shouted. The Feegles stopped and stared at her. Then Rob Anybody said: Socks wi'oot feets? by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Stop stealing the funeral meats right now, you wee scuggers! She shouted. The Feegles stopped and stared at her. Then Rob Anybody said: Socks wi'oot feets?


Quote: But there was more to it than that. As the Amazing Maurice said, it was just a story about people and rats. And the difficult part of it was deciding who the people were, and who were the rats. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

But there was more to it than that. As the Amazing Maurice said, it was just a story about people and rats. And the difficult part of it was deciding who the people were, and who were the rats.


Quote: It was the heart of any scam or fiddle -- keep the punter uncertain, or, if he is certain, make him certain of the wrong thing. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

It was the heart of any scam or fiddle -- keep the punter uncertain, or, if he is certain, make him certain of the wrong thing.


Quote: It is possible to live well with dementia and write best-sellers 'like wot I do. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

It is possible to live well with dementia and write best-sellers 'like wot I do.


Quote: Modesty is only arrogance by stealth. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Modesty is only arrogance by stealth.


Quote: We're a dying race, said Kwartz sadly, as the party set off under the stars. Young Jasper's the only pebble in our tribe. We suffer from philosophy, you know. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

We're a dying race, said Kwartz sadly, as the party set off under the stars. Young Jasper's the only pebble in our tribe. We suffer from philosophy, you know.


Quote: You were safe on a troll. Anyone wanting to mug a troll would have to use a building on a stick. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

You were safe on a troll. Anyone wanting to mug a troll would have to use a building on a stick.


Quote: Oh, he did his best to make their short lives miserable, because that was his job, but nothing he could think up was half as bad as the stuff they thought up themselves. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Oh, he did his best to make their short lives miserable, because that was his job, but nothing he could think up was half as bad as the stuff they thought up themselves.


Quote: You can't trust folk songs. They always sneak up on you. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

You can't trust folk songs. They always sneak up on you.


Quote: Never trust a species that grins all the time. It's up to something. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Never trust a species that grins all the time. It's up to something.


Quote: It was a fine summer morning, the kind to make a man happy to be alive. And probably the man *would* have been happier to be alive. He was, in fact, dead. It would be hard to be deader without special training. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

It was a fine summer morning, the kind to make a man happy to be alive. And probably the man *would* have been happier to be alive. He was, in fact, dead. It would be hard to be deader without special training.


Quote: Somewhere around the place I've got an unfinished short story about Schrodinger's Dog; it was mostly moaning about all the attention the cat was getting. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Somewhere around the place I've got an unfinished short story about Schrodinger's Dog; it was mostly moaning about all the attention the cat was getting.


Quote: In fact, if there were such a thing as an international thieving contest, Ankh-Morpork would bring home the trophy and probably everyone's wallets. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

In fact, if there were such a thing as an international thieving contest, Ankh-Morpork would bring home the trophy and probably everyone's wallets.


Quote: The beef stew tasted, indeed, just like beef stew and not, just to take an example completely and totally at random, stew made out of the last poor girl who'd worked here. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

The beef stew tasted, indeed, just like beef stew and not, just to take an example completely and totally at random, stew made out of the last poor girl who'd worked here.


Quote: I would rather stare at the wall for half an hour than watch an episode of any of the 53,801 Australian soap operas now cluttering up UK TV. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

I would rather stare at the wall for half an hour than watch an episode of any of the 53,801 Australian soap operas now cluttering up UK TV.


Quote: Once people get the idea that they can listen to music for nothing, where will it end? by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Once people get the idea that they can listen to music for nothing, where will it end?


Quote: Oh, where are my manners? Do sit down. Pull up a small child. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Oh, where are my manners? Do sit down. Pull up a small child.


Quote: The sun is simple. A sword is simple. A storm is simple. Behind everything simple is a huge tail of complicated. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

The sun is simple. A sword is simple. A storm is simple. Behind everything simple is a huge tail of complicated.


Quote: The elevator shaft was a kind of heat sink. Hot food was cold by the time it arrived. Cold food got colder. No one knew what would happen to ice cream, but it would probably involve some rewriting of the laws of thermodynamics. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

The elevator shaft was a kind of heat sink. Hot food was cold by the time it arrived. Cold food got colder. No one knew what would happen to ice cream, but it would probably involve some rewriting of the laws of thermodynamics.


Quote: I know it's not the right thing to say to a lady, miss, but you are sweating like a pig! My mother always said that horses sweat, men perspire, and ladies merely glow… Is that so? Well, miss, you are glowing like a pig! by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

I know it's not the right thing to say to a lady, miss, but you are sweating like a pig! My mother always said that horses sweat, men perspire, and ladies merely glow… Is that so? Well, miss, you are glowing like a pig!


Quote: Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken.


Quote: Stupid men are often capable of things the clever would not dare to contemplate. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Stupid men are often capable of things the clever would not dare to contemplate.


Quote: Questions don't have to make sense, Vincent, said Miss Susan. But answers do. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Questions don't have to make sense, Vincent, said Miss Susan. But answers do.


Quote: Books must be treated with respect, we feel that in our bones, because words have power. Bring enough words together they can bend space and time. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Books must be treated with respect, we feel that in our bones, because words have power. Bring enough words together they can bend space and time.


Quote: The calendar of the Theocracy of Muntab counts down, not up. No-one knows why, but it might not be a good idea to hang around and find out. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

The calendar of the Theocracy of Muntab counts down, not up. No-one knows why, but it might not be a good idea to hang around and find out.


Quote: Things like crowns had a troublesome effect on clever folk; it was best to leave all the reigning to the kind of people whose eyebrows met in the middle when they tried to think. In a funny sort of way, they were much better at it. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Things like crowns had a troublesome effect on clever folk; it was best to leave all the reigning to the kind of people whose eyebrows met in the middle when they tried to think. In a funny sort of way, they were much better at it.


Quote: Give anyone a lever long enough and they can change the world. It's unreliable levers that are the problem. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Give anyone a lever long enough and they can change the world. It's unreliable levers that are the problem.


Quote: Are you a devious, plotting, unreliable madman? Ah, good, then you can be my most trusted advisor. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Are you a devious, plotting, unreliable madman? Ah, good, then you can be my most trusted advisor.


Quote: The Battle of Koom Valley is the only one known to history where both sides ambushed each other. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

The Battle of Koom Valley is the only one known to history where both sides ambushed each other.


Quote: Money is an unavoidable consequence, but it isn't the reason I write; if it was, I wouldn't have written any of the YA books, because advances in that field are small compared to what I'd got now for an 'adult' DW. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Money is an unavoidable consequence, but it isn't the reason I write; if it was, I wouldn't have written any of the YA books, because advances in that field are small compared to what I'd got now for an 'adult' DW.


Quote: And the people next door oppress me all night long. I tell them, I work all day, a man's got to have some time to learn to play the tuba. That's oppression, that is. If I'm not under the heel of the oppressor, I don't know who is. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

And the people next door oppress me all night long. I tell them, I work all day, a man's got to have some time to learn to play the tuba. That's oppression, that is. If I'm not under the heel of the oppressor, I don't know who is.


Quote: Next comes the realist phase (After all, from a purely geometrical point of view a cat is only a tube with a door at the top.) by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Next comes the realist phase (After all, from a purely geometrical point of view a cat is only a tube with a door at the top.)


Quote: What's the orbital velocity of the moon? by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

What's the orbital velocity of the moon?


Quote: I know that I am a small, weak man, but I have amassed a large library; I dream of dangerous places. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

I know that I am a small, weak man, but I have amassed a large library; I dream of dangerous places.


Quote: Everyone knew there were wolves in the mountains, but they seldom came near the village -- the modern wolves were the offspring of ancestors that had survived because they had learned that human meat had sharp edges. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Everyone knew there were wolves in the mountains, but they seldom came near the village -- the modern wolves were the offspring of ancestors that had survived because they had learned that human meat had sharp edges.


Quote: She walked quickly through the darkness with the frank stride of someone who was at least certain that the forest, on this damp and windy night, contained strange and terrible things and she was it. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

She walked quickly through the darkness with the frank stride of someone who was at least certain that the forest, on this damp and windy night, contained strange and terrible things and she was it.


Quote: A witch ought never to be frightened in the darkest forest, Granny Weatherwax had once told her, because she should be sure in her soul that the most terrifying thing in the forest was her. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

A witch ought never to be frightened in the darkest forest, Granny Weatherwax had once told her, because she should be sure in her soul that the most terrifying thing in the forest was her.


Quote: The thing about witchcraft, said Mistress Weatherwax, is that it's not like school at all. First you get the test, and then afterward you spend years findin' out how you passed it. It's a bit like life in that respect. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

The thing about witchcraft, said Mistress Weatherwax, is that it's not like school at all. First you get the test, and then afterward you spend years findin' out how you passed it. It's a bit like life in that respect.


Quote: Your average witch is not, by nature, a social animal.... The natural size of a coven is one. Witches only get together when they can't avoid it. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Your average witch is not, by nature, a social animal.... The natural size of a coven is one. Witches only get together when they can't avoid it.


Quote: Logic is a wonderful thing but doesn't always beat actual thought. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Logic is a wonderful thing but doesn't always beat actual thought.


Quote: Mr. Tulip lived his life on that thin line most people occupy just before they haul off and hit someone repeatedly with a wrench. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Mr. Tulip lived his life on that thin line most people occupy just before they haul off and hit someone repeatedly with a wrench.


Quote: No one thinks that young adults read books for young adults; books for young adults are read by kids. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

No one thinks that young adults read books for young adults; books for young adults are read by kids.


Quote: Young adults that actually read are reading bodice rippers and best-sellers and me. And Horror. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Young adults that actually read are reading bodice rippers and best-sellers and me. And Horror.


Quote: His parents called him Youngster. They did this in the subconcious hope that he might take the hint. Wensleydale gave the impression of having been born with a mental age of 47. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

His parents called him Youngster. They did this in the subconcious hope that he might take the hint. Wensleydale gave the impression of having been born with a mental age of 47.


Quote: Life is just chemicals. A drop here, a drip there, everything's changed. A mere dribble of fermented juices and sudenlly you're going to live another few hours. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Life is just chemicals. A drop here, a drip there, everything's changed. A mere dribble of fermented juices and sudenlly you're going to live another few hours.


Quote: If anyone locked me in a dungeon, there'd be screams. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

If anyone locked me in a dungeon, there'd be screams.


Quote: Truth! Freedom! Justice! And a hard-boiled egg! by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Truth! Freedom! Justice! And a hard-boiled egg!


Quote: The year was past the edge, heading away from the dark... Of course, dark would come again, but that was in the nature of the world. Many things were beginning. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

The year was past the edge, heading away from the dark... Of course, dark would come again, but that was in the nature of the world. Many things were beginning.


Quote: You had to admire the way perfectly innocent words were mugged, ravished, stripped of all true meaning and decency, and then sent to walk the gutter for Reacher Gilt, although synergistically had probably been a whore from the start. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

You had to admire the way perfectly innocent words were mugged, ravished, stripped of all true meaning and decency, and then sent to walk the gutter for Reacher Gilt, although synergistically had probably been a whore from the start.


Quote: Look, that's why there's rules, understand? So that you think before you break 'em. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Look, that's why there's rules, understand? So that you think before you break 'em.


Quote: This is space. It's sometimes called the final frontier.
(Except that of course you can't have a final frontier, because there'd be nothing for it to be a frontier to, but as frontiers go, it's pretty penultimate ...) by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

This is space. It's sometimes called the final frontier.
(Except that of course you can't have a final frontier, because there'd be nothing for it to be a frontier to, but as frontiers go, it's pretty penultimate ...)


Quote: No one knew where you were before you were born, but when you were born, it wasn't long before you found you'd arrived with your return ticket already punched. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

No one knew where you were before you were born, but when you were born, it wasn't long before you found you'd arrived with your return ticket already punched.


Quote: Young man, the games we play are lessons we learn. The assumptions we make, things we ignore, and things we change make us what we become. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Young man, the games we play are lessons we learn. The assumptions we make, things we ignore, and things we change make us what we become.


Quote: A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.


Quote: He glanced at the sun which, old professional that it was, chose that moment to drop below the horizon. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

He glanced at the sun which, old professional that it was, chose that moment to drop below the horizon.


Quote: Given enough coffee I could rule the world. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Given enough coffee I could rule the world.


Quote: Who shall I shoot? You choose. Now, listen very carefully: where's your coffee? You've got coffee, haven't you? C'mon, everyone's got coffee! Spill the beans! by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Who shall I shoot? You choose. Now, listen very carefully: where's your coffee? You've got coffee, haven't you? C'mon, everyone's got coffee! Spill the beans!


Quote: Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.


Quote: Silence fell like a hammer made of feathers. It left holes in the shape of the sound of the sea. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Silence fell like a hammer made of feathers. It left holes in the shape of the sound of the sea.


Quote: Light died in the west. Night and tears took the Nation. The star of Water drifted among the clouds like a murderer softly leaving the scene of the crime. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Light died in the west. Night and tears took the Nation. The star of Water drifted among the clouds like a murderer softly leaving the scene of the crime.


Quote: There's always a story. It's all stories, really. The sun coming up every day is a story. Everything's got a story in it. Change the story, change the world. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

There's always a story. It's all stories, really. The sun coming up every day is a story. Everything's got a story in it. Change the story, change the world.


Quote: It's a terrible thing for a man when his woman gangs up on him wi' a toad. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

It's a terrible thing for a man when his woman gangs up on him wi' a toad.


Quote: Shadwell hated all southerners and, by inference, was standing at the North Pole. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Shadwell hated all southerners and, by inference, was standing at the North Pole.


Quote: He hated weapons, and not just because they'd so often been aimed at him. You got into more trouble if you had a weapon. People shot you instantly if they thought you were going to shoot them. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

He hated weapons, and not just because they'd so often been aimed at him. You got into more trouble if you had a weapon. People shot you instantly if they thought you were going to shoot them.

Longer Version/[Notes]:

He hated weapons, and not just because they'd so often been aimed at him. You got into more trouble if you had a weapon. People shot you instantly if they thought you were going to shoot them. But if you were unarmed, they often stopped to talk. Admittedly, they tended to say things like, "You'll never guess what we're going to do to you, pal," but that took time. And Rincewind could do a lot with a few more seconds. He could use them to live longer in.


Quote: What your soldier wants -- really, really wants -- is no-one shooting back at him. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

What your soldier wants -- really, really wants -- is no-one shooting back at him.


Quote: His progress through life was hampered by his tremendous sense of his own ignorance, a disability which affects all too few. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

His progress through life was hampered by his tremendous sense of his own ignorance, a disability which affects all too few.


Quote: Human beings, little bags of thinking water held up briefly by fragile accumulations of calcium. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Human beings, little bags of thinking water held up briefly by fragile accumulations of calcium.


Quote: She was beautiful, but she was beautiful in the way a forest fire was beautiful: something to be admired from a distance, not up close. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

She was beautiful, but she was beautiful in the way a forest fire was beautiful: something to be admired from a distance, not up close.


Quote: If you want to change a whole people, then you start with the girls. It stands to reason: they learn faster, and they pass on what they learn to their children. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

If you want to change a whole people, then you start with the girls. It stands to reason: they learn faster, and they pass on what they learn to their children.


Quote: A lie can run round the world before the truth has got its boots on. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

A lie can run round the world before the truth has got its boots on.


Quote: Using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as Ridcully was like a red flag to a bu... was like putting something very annoying in front of someone who was annoyed by it. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as Ridcully was like a red flag to a bu... was like putting something very annoying in front of someone who was annoyed by it.


Quote: It is said that the Devil has all the best tunes. This is broadly true. But Heaven has the best choreographers. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

It is said that the Devil has all the best tunes. This is broadly true. But Heaven has the best choreographers.


Quote: I've never really liked the Yanks. ... You can't trust people who pick up the ball all the time when they play football. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

I've never really liked the Yanks. ... You can't trust people who pick up the ball all the time when they play football.


Quote: And the new day was a great big fish. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

And the new day was a great big fish.


Quote: Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you.


Quote: No, I happen to be one of those people whose memory shuts down under pressure. The answers would come to me in the middle of the night in my sleep! Besides, I am a millionaire. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

No, I happen to be one of those people whose memory shuts down under pressure. The answers would come to me in the middle of the night in my sleep! Besides, I am a millionaire.


Quote: The consensus seemed to be that if really large numbers of men were sent to storm the mountain, then enough might survive the rocks to take the citadel. This is essentially the basis of all military thinking. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

The consensus seemed to be that if really large numbers of men were sent to storm the mountain, then enough might survive the rocks to take the citadel. This is essentially the basis of all military thinking.


Quote: Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question.


Quote: Perhaps the magic would last, perhaps it wouldn't. But then again, what does? by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Perhaps the magic would last, perhaps it wouldn't. But then again, what does?


Quote: We've strayed into a zone with a high magical index,' he said. 'Don't ask me how. Once upon a time a really powerful magic field must have been generated here, and we're feeling the after-effects.'
Precisely,' said a passing bush. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

We've strayed into a zone with a high magical index,' he said. 'Don't ask me how. Once upon a time a really powerful magic field must have been generated here, and we're feeling the after-effects.'
Precisely,' said a passing bush.


Quote: You don't want people to be kind to animals because they're animals, you just want people to be kind to animals because one of them might be you. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

You don't want people to be kind to animals because they're animals, you just want people to be kind to animals because one of them might be you.


Quote: Sheep are stupid, and have to be driven. But goats are intelligent, and need to be led. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Sheep are stupid, and have to be driven. But goats are intelligent, and need to be led.


Quote: Mere animals couldn't possibly manage to act like this. You need to be a human being to be really stupid. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Mere animals couldn't possibly manage to act like this. You need to be a human being to be really stupid.


Quote: The enemy isn't men, or women, it's bloody stupid people and no-one has the right to be stupid. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

The enemy isn't men, or women, it's bloody stupid people and no-one has the right to be stupid.


Quote: Steal five dollars and you're a common thief. Steal thousands and you're either the government or a hero. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Steal five dollars and you're a common thief. Steal thousands and you're either the government or a hero.


Quote: The rising sun managed to peek around the vast column of smoke that forever rose from Ankh-Morpork, City of Cities, illustrating almost up to the edge of space that smoke means progress or, at least, people setting fire to things. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

The rising sun managed to peek around the vast column of smoke that forever rose from Ankh-Morpork, City of Cities, illustrating almost up to the edge of space that smoke means progress or, at least, people setting fire to things.


Quote: Your wife is a big hippo! My face is melting! My face is meltinnnnggg! by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Your wife is a big hippo! My face is melting! My face is meltinnnnggg!


Quote: The second mouse gets the cheese! by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

The second mouse gets the cheese!


Quote: An Assassin, a real Assassin had to look like one-black clothes, hood, boots, and all. If they could wear any clothes, any disguise, then what could anyone do but spend all day in a small room with a loaded crossbow pointed at the door? by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

An Assassin, a real Assassin had to look like one-black clothes, hood, boots, and all. If they could wear any clothes, any disguise, then what could anyone do but spend all day in a small room with a loaded crossbow pointed at the door?


Quote: The universe, they say, depended for its operation on the balance of four forces which they identified as charm, persuasion, uncertainty, and bloody-mindedness. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

The universe, they say, depended for its operation on the balance of four forces which they identified as charm, persuasion, uncertainty, and bloody-mindedness.


Quote: Now look, snapped the Dean, we've searched everywhere for a decent library on this island. There simply isn't one! It's ridiculous. How is anyone supposed to get anything done? by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Now look, snapped the Dean, we've searched everywhere for a decent library on this island. There simply isn't one! It's ridiculous. How is anyone supposed to get anything done?


Quote: If there were such a thing as an inter-city thieving contest, Ankh-Morpork would bring home the trophy and probably everyone's wallets. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

If there were such a thing as an inter-city thieving contest, Ankh-Morpork would bring home the trophy and probably everyone's wallets.


Quote: Juliet's version of cleanliness was next to godliness, which was to say it was erratic, past all understanding and was seldom seen. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Juliet's version of cleanliness was next to godliness, which was to say it was erratic, past all understanding and was seldom seen.


Quote: And, as always happens, and happens far too soon, the strange and wonderful becomes a memory and a memory becomes a dream. Tomorrow it's gone. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

And, as always happens, and happens far too soon, the strange and wonderful becomes a memory and a memory becomes a dream. Tomorrow it's gone.


Quote: It doesn't stop being magic just because you know how it works. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

It doesn't stop being magic just because you know how it works.


Quote: Some people believe that when you die, you cross the River of Death and have to pay the ferryman. People don't seem to worry about that these days. Perhaps there's a bridge now. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Some people believe that when you die, you cross the River of Death and have to pay the ferryman. People don't seem to worry about that these days. Perhaps there's a bridge now.


Quote: You know, you're rather amusingly wrong. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

You know, you're rather amusingly wrong.


Quote: Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.
When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.
When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big.


Quote: People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people. by author Terry Pratchett overlaid on photo of photo of author Terry Pratchett with quote

People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people.


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