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I didn't drive eleven hours across the state of Texas to watch my cholesterol.

--Robb Walsh

There's a vastness here and I believe that the people who are born here breathe that vastness into their soul. They dream big dreams and think big thoughts, because there is nothing to hem them in.

--Conrad Hilton

There are parts of Texas where a fly lives ten thousand years and a man can't die soon enough.

--Katherine Dunn

The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. In three days no one could stand him.

--Joseph Heller

Anywhere in the world you go, you find racism, discrimination. Not just in the United States, or in Texas. It's very sad for me, but that's the way it is. I can't change the world by myself. I, being Hispanic, have also faced discrimination. But … the world keeps turning.


If we can make Washington more like Texas, the whole country will be a winner.

--John Cornyn

Let's face it, Obama is not a hugely popular political figure in the state of Texas.

--Wendy Davis (politician)

Mexico is an important trading partner, it's the number one trading partner for the state of Texas. We have had dealings with them, shared a border with them. We have had our challenges, but at the end of the day we want a good relationship with Mexico.

--Rick Perry

The citizens of America and the citizens of Texas expect to be able to live in safety in their communities. That's what the rule of law is truly all about.

--Rick Perry

We must regain Texas, peaceably if we can, forcibly if we must.

--Andrew Jackson

I don't think people are going to come down to Texas and see every person riding in a candy car or every person sipping syrup. But, for the most part, people got a lot of the stuff right, talking about the screwed music scene.


Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me.

--Robin Wright

I'm also for gay marriage, because I say they have every right to be just as miserable as the rest of us. Love is bigger than government. And Texas, by the way, has a very progressive law about gay couples adopting kids. We just won't let them get married. So that's not common sense.

--Kinky Friedman

Is it me or is President Bush's life starting to sound like a country song. He's from Texas, his dog just died, and it looks like he might lose his job. Next thing, his truck is going to break down.

--Jay Leno

In Texas, we hold very dear to intrusions against our personal liberty. We fight very hard against that.

--Barack Obama

I learned two things growing up in Texas. 1: God loves you, and you're going to burn in hell forever. 2: Sex is the dirtiest and most dangerous thing you can possibly do, so save it for someone you love.

--Molly Ivins

Texas is a national leader in education reform and student achievement. Through our college- and career-ready standards and assessments, strong school accountability, and a focus on educator development, we have created an education system that prepares our students for success after graduation.

--Rick Perry

Texas liberals are the camels of good news. We can cross entire deserts between oases.

--Molly Ivins

That the Texas Legislature, that the Texas school boards, the Texas teachers, we collectively know best how to educate our children, rather than some bureaucrat in Washington.

--Rick Perry

Sometimes I think Texas exists as a reality check for those who might wander too far toward the precious.

--Molly Ivins

No one has ever accused Texas of being in the vanguard of social progress. This is the most macho state in the U.S. of A. By lore, legend, and fact, Texas is 'hell' on women and horses.

--Molly Ivins

The more a body tries to explode all the foolish myths that have grown up about Texas by telling the truth, the more a body will wind up adding to the mythology.

--Molly Ivins

Like most passionate nations, Texas has its own history based on, but not limited by, facts.

--John Steinbeck

Texas is a hell hole, man. Dirt, cactus, lizards, dirt, cactus, the Bush family.

--Christopher Titus

I never go to weddings. Waste of time. Person can get married a dozen times. Lots of folks do. Family like ours, know everybody in the state of Texas and around outside, why, you could spend your life going to weddings. But a funeral, that's different. You only die once.

--Edna Ferber

In Texas, you just learn just be nice to people and respect them, and respect where they're coming from. And understand people have different backgrounds and opinions, and there's nothing you could do about it. And that's what I've realized to shape, I guess, who I am.

--Jordan Spieth

I was also fortunate that I was raised in a part of the world, West Texas, where individualism is strong.

--George W. Bush

There are places in this world where fable, myth, preconception, love, longing or prejudice step in and so distort a cool, clear appraisal that a kind of high colored magical confusion takes permanent hold...Surely Texas is such a place.

--John Steinbeck

To me, Texas is Austin, a bunch of cool people trying to make a difference.

--Bill Hicks

Many Texas barbecue fanatics have a strong belief in the beneficial properties of accumulated grease.

--Calvin Trillin

If you've ever driven across Texas, you know how different one area of the state can be from another. Take El Paso. It looks as much like Dallas as I look like Jack Nicklaus.

--Lee Trevino

I love Texas too well to bring civil strife and bloodshed upon her.

--Sam Houston

Texas is the crossroads of the world. Everything here is big.

--Bobby Lee

The safety of the republic being the supreme law, and Texas having offered us the key to the safety of our country from all foreign intrigues and diplomacy, I say accept the key and bolt the door at once.

--Andrew Jackson

In Texas, we do not hold high expectations for the governor's office; it's mostly been occupied by crooks, dorks and the comatose.

--Molly Ivins

Sectional football games have the glory and the despair of war, and when a Texas team takes the field against a foreign state, it is an army with banners.

--John Steinbeck

If I owned Texas and Hell, I'd rent out Texas and live in Hell.

--Philip Sheridan

I done drew the line. Just like the Alamo. You're either on one side of the line or the other. I don't want to ever leave Texas again.

--Bum Phillips

Texas has a tight cohesiveness perhaps stronger than any other section of America.

--John Steinbeck

Only a rank degenerate would drive 1,500 miles across Texas without eating a chicken fried steak.

--Larry McMurtry

During the cold war, West Berlin was an exclave -- a tiny outpost of liberalism surrounded by people who want to crush it. It was like Austin, Texas.

--Craig Ferguson

I must say as to what I have seen of Texas it is the garden spot of the world. The best land and the best prospects for health I ever saw, and I do believe it is a fortune to any man to come here. There is a world of country here to settle.

--Davy Crockett

I've traveled all over the world, but I don't think there is any place better than Texas.

--Red Adair

In Texas, we have the death penalty, and we use it. That's right. If you come to Texas and kill somebody, we will kill you back.

--Ron White

Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States cannot make it without Texas.

--Sam Houston

Texas will again lift its head and stand among the nations. It ought to do so, for no country upon the globe can compare with it in natural advantages.

--Sam Houston

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.

--Yakov Smirnoff

Native plants give us a sense of where we are in this great land of ours. I want Texas to look like Texas and Vermont to look like Vermont.

--Lady Bird Johnson

All my ex's live in Texas, And Texas is the place I'd dearly love to be, But all my ex's live in Texas, Therefore I reside in Tennessee.

--George Strait

I love Texans. And Texas is clearly the crown jewel of Super Tuesday.

--Ted Cruz

This is America. We're entitled to our opinions.
Wrong. This is Texas. And my opinion is the only one that counts.

--Susan Elizabeth Phillips

I've always gotten along well with Texans. You've got to.

--Burt Reynolds

I dearly love the state of Texas, but I consider that a harmless perversion on my part, and discuss it only with consenting adults.

--Molly Ivins

If you ain't Texan, I ain't got time for you.

--Kinky Friedman

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

--Kinky Friedman

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.'

--Kinky Friedman

If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, then it's good enough for Texas.

--Ma Ferguson

Texas has arguably the most extreme separation between the well off and everyday people in the United States.

--Don Baylor

I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control.

--Willie Nelson

Real Texans don't want any woman to die of cancer because she can't get decent health care or medical advice. Real Texans don't want any woman to lose control of her life because she can't get birth control.

--Wendy Davis (politician)

Texas deserves a leader who understands that making education a priority creates good jobs for Texans and keeps Texas on top.

--Wendy Davis (politician)

And those Texas sunsets... I work a lot in Africa: Texas and Africa have the best sunsets on the planet, that I've ever seen.

--Taylor Kitsch

I still think probably the only thing I'm suited for is being a boy from Texas.

--Tommy Lee Jones

I felt like the luckiest kid in the world because God had put me on the ground in Texas. I actually felt sorry for those poor little kids that had to be born in Oklahoma or England or some place. I knew I was living in the best place in the world.

--Tommy Lee Jones

As a child of West Texas, I identify with Hispanic culture every bit as much as I do North American culture.

--Tommy Lee Jones

In most states, it's more difficult to get a license for your dog than it is to buy a big cat. Right now, there are more tigers in the state of Texas than in all of India.

--Tippi Hedren

I went to Texas a few times for gigs and adopted the cowboy look. Every man, at some point in his life, goes through a cowboy stage -- everyone! Well, at least everyone that I look up to!

--Theophilus London

As a kid from Texas, it always amazes me when city kids don't know how to ride a bike.

--Tamron Hall

I grew up in Texas in a family that fished and hunted, so I've shot guns as a kid.

--Stark Sands

Texas is just so rich with characters. Women who live alone in a little house on a thousand acres with nothing but cattle and a pickup truck. And an airplane.

--Sissy Spacek

I come from Texas. We're a different brand of people. You're not changing who I am.

--Sasha Lane

There's a form of selling out. It's necessary. You have to become edible for people in Texas. You have to become edible for the Christian right, for mass audiences.

--Shia LaBeouf

My mom always told me if I love what I'm doing, and I'm having fun, then just continue to do it. But if it's not fun for me anymore, and I'm miserable, then I'm going to go back to Texas and quit it all, to be honest.

--Selena Gomez

I still feel like I'm the girl from Texas.

--Selena Gomez

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family.

--Selena Gomez

Texas, with her superior natural advantages, must become a point of attraction, and the policy of establishing with her the earliest relations of friendship and commerce will not escape the eye of statesmen.

--Sam Houston

There would be no difficulty in securing the rights of the people and the liberties of Texas if men would march to their duty and not fly like recreants from danger. Texas must be defended and liberty maintained.

--Sam Houston

Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may.

--Sam Houston

When rough times have fallen upon our state in the past, Texans have always responded with generosity and an eagerness to help. The compassionate response to the fires has proven that this community spirit is alive and well.

--Randy Neugebauer

In plain Texas talk, it's 'do the right thing'

--Ross Perot

Texas was such a welcoming place, and with its unbelievable history and tradition, it's extra special to be a part of that.

--Ricky Williams

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky.

--Robert Anton Wilson

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky.

--Piper Perabo

Texas was mostly short-grass and tall-grass prairie when modern Europeans arrived here. It really was a land of milk and honey. But when they brought all these cattle onto these relatively small bits of land, and the cattle were allowed to graze freely, they essentially destroyed the prairie.

--Philipp Meyer

Here's the thing about Texas -- and the thing about the border. We all know undocumented immigrants. They sit in our churches, are friends with our children, and work all around us. They are just like us.

--Pete Gallego

It's always bothersome when California does something better than Texas.

--Pete Gallego

Texas people are very open, because it's open.

--Margo Martindale

The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas.

--Malcolm McDowell

One thing I have learned from Johnny Faulk, Texas, and life, is that since you don't always win, you got to learn to enjoy just fightin' the good fight.

--Molly Ivins

One nice thing about the benefit of long experience with la frontera is that we in Texas don't have to run around getting all hysterical about immigrants. The border is porous. When you want cheap labor, you open it up; when you don't, you shut it down. It works to our benefit -- it always has.

--Molly Ivins

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas -- finest form of free entertainment ever invented.

--Molly Ivins

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics.

--Molly Ivins

English is clipped in speech. Texas is exactly the opposite.

--Michael Caine

Saying you're from Texas makes you kind of proud.

--Kay Bailey Hutchison

Obviously, people in Texas have big hearts.

--Katie Couric
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