I've always had, when I needed it, an extreme amount of focus that I could put into something. That has served me well.
There's nothing sexy about Orange County.
My kind of wanting to be funny didn't come from need, necessarily. The closest I can analyze it is that it was an easy way to make friends, I found out. It was just a great kind of social tool.
I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I think that is right. Seventy-four per cent of the time.
Aren't we all striving to be overpaid for what we do?
I grew up in an entertainment family, and so I saw how susceptible you are to the ups and downs of this business.
I've never been a conceited person or cocky, never felt boastful, but I always had a sense of self-worth; I always had a real sense of myself.
Anyone who does anything creative is always gonna want to change.
I'm a Progressive. Much in the same way our founding fathers -- who, oddly enough, wouldn't get elected today -- were Progressives.
The funny guy doesn't get the girl until later in life. High school, college, everyone still wants the brooding, dangerous guy you shouldn't have.
Inappropriate behavior makes me laugh.
I remember going with my mom to a random garage sale as a kid and thinking what a cool treasure hunt that whole world was. Only to transition as an adult to think, 'What a gross place that really is.'
You still have that competitive thing where you want to try to make hits. That won't go away, unless the mayor of show business says my time's up.
I hate when someone drives my car and resets all the radio presets. I don't understand it. If I was ever driving someone's car, I would never touch the things that were set.
I guess ultimately a lot of comedians just wanna be taken seriously.
I don't really have aspirations to be Tom Hanks.
I will watch a movie that is quote unquote dark and not get the qualification of what is dark and what is not.
I still regret that I never played soccer in high school. I chose basketball over soccer.
Enjoy the little fun things -- like taking your kids to school -- before they're all grown up.
When you hear that you're going to be working with a first-time director, sometimes that can be a concern to people.
I've never had a yard sale, ever, in my life. I don't know if I ever thought about stuff I would get rid of.
By the time I was ready for college, I didn't know what I wanted to do. I think I secretly wanted a show business career, but I was suppressing it.
In the fourth grade, I learned how to fake walking into a door. You know, you hit it with your hand and snap your head back. The girls loved it.
I know the nature of comedy, and you never know what will happen with the next movie or whether people will find it funny.
I was a strange kid in that, while most kids hate school and want to turn 18 or 21, I loved high school.
I left home to go to college, and then I moved back home. I moved back for three years from 21 to 24.
Members of the Senate and House, if they want to send troops into war, should be forced to send a family member. That would really make everyone stop and go, 'Ohhh-kaaay.'
Often times I'm confronted with a quote that I don't remember saying. So, on one hand it's very flattering, it is just so surreal.
James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting through the whole film for me to be funny -- and I never was.
America is all about speed. Hot, nasty, bad-ass speed.
Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet.
Alcohol is like Photoshop for real life.
Whenever someone calls me ugly I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.
Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.
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