Europe has nothing to recommend it but its old age, and the Petrified Forest in Arizona makes a Sucker out of it for old age. Why that forest was there and doing business before Nero took his first Violin lesson.

Labor Day, I suppose set by an Act of Congress. Everything we do nowadays is either by, or against, Acts of Congress. How Congress knew anything about Labor is beyond us.

Mothers are the only race of people that speak the same tongue. A mother in Manchuria could converse with a mother in Nebraska and never miss a word.

Congress knew Coolidge would veto the farm bill. There was more politics than relief in that bill.

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

You know, everybody's ignorant, just on different subjects.

Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.

When you are satisfied, you are successful. For that's all there is to success is satisfaction.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Rotation of crops and less automobiles will relieve the farmers whenever they decide to try it.

We don't give our criminals much punishment, but we sure give 'em plenty of publicity.

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur.

The nation is prosperous on the whole, but how much prosperity is there in a hole?

So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way.

Pain is such an uncomfortable feeling that even a tiny amount of it is enough to ruin every enjoyment.

There wasn't any Republicans in Washington's day. No Republicans, no Boll Weevil, no income tax, no cover charge, no disarmament conference, no luncheon clubs, no stop lights, no static, no head winds. My Lord, living in those days, who wouldn't be great?

I don't care how poor and inefficient a little country is -- they like to run their own business. I know men that would -make my wife a better husband than I am but, darn it, I'm not going to give her to 'em.

Elections are a good deal like marriages. There's no accounting for anyone's taste. Every time we see a bridegroom we wonder why she ever picked him, and it's the same with public officials.

I don't think either one of them knows what it's all about, to be honest with you. Both sides are doing nothing but just looking towards the next election.