Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.

Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain -- and this is a chance for something special.

The most expensive sex is free sex.

Early in life, I was visited by the bluebird of anxiety.

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exception of a moose singing 'Embraceable You' in spats.

There are three things Jewish people worship-God, Chinese food and wall-to-wall carpeting.

In a relationship, it is better to be the leaver than the leavee.

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

I could turn on my radio in the morning when I was getting dressed for school and hear Frank Sinatra and Duke Ellington and Benny Goodman and think this is the music. Now that music is art. Ellington is art. At that time it was just what you heard on the radio. Cole Porter was just a guy who wrote pretty songs and Billie Holliday would sing them.

But what if everyone in the world behaved like me and came here and shot Brisseau through the ear? What a mess! And of course we'd need valet parking.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank.

One man starving puts a crimp in my evening.

Is there a separation between body and mind, and if so which is it better to have?

My analyst warned me, but you were so beautiful I got another analyst.

Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.